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That Quiet Girl
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I just now got home, and this describes another embarrassing segment of my daily life:

Today, I was dropped off at a local restaurant to turn in an application. But while there, they gave me another sheet which I had to fill out, but I didn't have a pen with me, and was too afraid to ask for one, so I returned the sheet and walked out. That made me feel totally useless because I didn't accomplish anything.

Then, I had to go across the street to Walgreens to get some Gatorade because I have dizzy spells when standing up, and the antioxidants in the drink help me with that. Upon paying for my things, I was almost out the door when the alarm went off. Everyone in line turned to look at me. Then the cashier checked my things and made me go through again, but the alarm went off a second time. To my embarrassment, she called the manager to look through my things and make me walk past the alarms a third time to make sure I wasn't stealing anything. Apparantly it was just a glitch in the system. When I got out the door, I was trembling, my face was red, and I felt sick. Most of all I was completely and utterly embarrassed. It was a terrible feeling.

Then again, I had to cross the intersection to go to the bus station to pick up a bus schedule, but of course I never got to it because I couldn't find the door to get in, and ended up walking up and down the sidewalk with everyone looking at me like I'm insane. I had to walk back to the house through two intersections when the same feeling of sickness. I hate standing on the corner with all those cars going by and people looking at me. I feel like their eyes are burning into me, and I shiver and shake because it's so stressful. I just hate walking outside, I hate being the center of attention. I got home and felt like curling up in a little ball and hiding forever.

Today was just too much for my socially anxietized brain to handle. I feel so tired from the worry. This whole thing just feels so debilitating. I don't know how I'm going to possibly handle more weighty responsibilities coming my way. I just can't go outside anymore. I feel like I'm a prisoner in my own home because going out is such a stressful thing for me.

Anyone else hate being out by yourself?
 

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Yes i hate going out by myself because it just shows the people around me that im a loner. When ever my one true friend and i go out together it is alot easier. Im sorry you had to endure that unfortunate event at the store. Personally if it was me and i was 100% sure i didn't steal anything i would have just kept walking. Maby they thought you stole something because you came across alittle nervous combined with the fact that the beeper went off. It happens to the best of us. The part about you walking home with all the cars driving by i can relate to completly. I feel like each one of them is judging me and i get so self-conscience that sometimes i forget how to walk properly.

Its reasonable to be tired on a day like today because you went out there and were under alot of stress. I'd compare your day like going to the gym. Ya, after the workout your going to be tired but that workout will help you be better prepared for the next workout. You know what i mean? Keep on Keepin.

kos.
 

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That Quiet Girl
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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
What you're both saying is true. It's just hard for me, (and many other people with this disorder) to convince themselves of that. But you're right, and thanks for your advice. Perhaps I'll have a family friend drive me, instead of walking by myself.

Thank you for your personal replies. I just needed to vent since I really have no one else to talk to.
 

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Did the manager of the store apologise to you for:
1. Taking up your precious time all because their alarm system doesn't work?
2. Having to make you go through that three times?
If this happened to me, I would've been quite annoyed about it and told them that I'm never going back to their store again unless they sort out their alarm. Unfortunately some people's SA are worse than mine and I don't think you would've felt the need to say that. I'm really annoyed and irritated by faulty alarms, especially the ones in stores and it sets off alarms on innocent people!

Regarding your form in the restaurant... it was rude of them not to provide you with a pen. You already had a form that you filled in so why would they have wanted you to fill in another? It sounds like someone either made a mistake or they have a stupid 2 forms policy.

I don't think people were looking at you in a negative way. People always stare at someone (including anyone) that happens to pass their window.
 
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