Hi, im a year older than you. Im sorry that your former friends treated you like that. I sometimes feel like my marriage prospects are very slim unless it was an arranged marriage lol. I am nervous about going to college and ending up eating lunch alone, at least in the beginning because im not someone people become attached to. I find that I tend to think im better at eye contact than I actually am. Things come in time
I don't normally respond but after reading your post I just wanted to tell you that it does get better! There are a couple things you can do now to help you with your anxiety but understanding that what your feeling isn't uncommon nor is it a death sentence...
I was the same way in high school. Everything made me uncomfortable which made me more socially awkward which made me more anxious- it is such a vicious cycle. First you need to drop your "friends", don't hang onto them because you're afraid of having no one to talk to, or hang out with cause they will, if they already haven't, lower your self esteem. Second, find an after school or program that even slightly interests you. It's easier to relax around people who share similar interests... And third, you should really consider seeing a therapist. When I was 14 I overdosed, not with the intension of doing any real damage but I just hated going to school that much. Luckily I was ok and was sent to children's hospital, I was diagnosed with severe social anxiety and I had zero people skills. I hated my therapists at first but after many years of being in therapy I have to tell you I would be a complete mess without it! I only bring up my overdosing because it lead me into therapy, back then anxiety wasn't even considered a real problem and it was much harder to get the help that you can get today. Trying to self harm is never the answer. The last thing I would suggest is talk about it, to your parents, guidance counselor, teacher, someone because there is help out there! Good luck, and remember so many things will change in your life just within the next couple years... Who you are today does not determine who you'll be in the future!
Sorry to hear this cause it sounds the same as me.
You are still very young if i could go back in time i would go
asap to a doctor and then too a Psychiatrists.They are there
to help you with your social skills.your friends are young and stupid
I know it sounds scary but force yourself or get someone to go
and speak for you like your mom.I promise you wont be sorry!!
My point is don't wait like i did till 34 years old to get help then its too
late and you waisted your 20's like i did.When u 34 everyone thinks your old.
Don't turn to alcohol and be addicted thats hell on its own!!!!!!!!!!
ok Im sad to hear about your situation and it kinda reminds me of my own teenage part of life. I also had few friends in school and 2 biggest mistake I did was:
- not telling my parents about how I felt. If you have good parents that support you, sit Down with them and have a good looong talk about Things. Come total clean with everything. Here it is extremely important that you are brutally honest(you gotta get them a good impression of how you are feeling), and really make sure that they have an idea of what is going on. Ask them both what they are doing tomorrow night and then ask if they can talk with you? sit Down at the table, friendly ask them to just sit there and listen for a while and then let it all out. Cry if you must.
- Change school. Summer is soon coming up and this is a great oppotunity to change school and start fresh. Tell your parents ASAP!(and i damn mean that!) and then talk with your doctor and he/she can direct you to a good therapist that should specialize in anxiety problems. If you dont like the first therapist, dont give up, but keep looking for someone you can with.
then besides that, try to seek out social stuff as much as possible. You are afraid of getting a job? then get a job, its the only way to overcome it + you will properly meet others you can start hanging out with. Tell your parents about this too.
also, surround yourself with good emotions. Screw those who picks on you, cut them off right away. Start somekind of sport or martial art, get hobbies you like and meet others. Maybe lift some weights and get some muscle?
thats all I can advice you about, get this done now or you will regret it later. You are still Young as fuark, no time has been wasted - yet.