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6 Posts
I've had GAD for about 5 years now. I've been on just about every medication and even natural remedies and everything you could think of, throughout those years. But I was prescribed xanax when I was 20 (I'm 25 now) and it has been the only thing that has worked for me. I've had periods of times of trying different things or different medications or being off of any kind of benzo's but xanax (or klonopin) is the only thing that actually helps. My parents don't understand any of this and basically say I'm addicted to them and that I can't deal with life or stress and that its all in my head and all. They just look at it like I can't deal with normal life stresses and so I rely on a drug to take away all my problems. When in reality, I can barelly function without this drug. There are days I go without it, I'm not physically addicted or anything, and I only take them when needed. But after 5 years, I am on a very high dosage. I was on 2mg of xanax twice daily when needed. I had to switch psych dr's recently and not only did i have to go to urgent cares or primary care dr's to get refills of this medicine in the time I was waiting for my new psych dr's appt, but I finally got to have my first appt with my new dr last week and he was a very egotistical dr that thought his way was the only way. He would say he's an expert and knows exactly what to do, and I kept saying "I'm sure you know what your doing but I am technically the expert of my own body and know what works and doesn't work for myself". He put me on Lamictal which I've taken twice before and it never worked and gives me migraines but he didn't care, and even worse, he-against my wishes and concerns-changed me to klonopin and lowered the dosage dramatically. He told me he was going to prescribe 1mg of klonopin twice daily but when I got home with the already filled prescription, I realized he had prescribed .5mg of klonopin twice daily. now first off, klonopin has never helped or worked for me very well and is not as effective as xanax is for me. Secondly, I was on a total of 4mg of xanax daily, which I know is a large dose but after 5 years thats my tolerance and I wouldn't go any higher but it worked perfectly. Him changing me to klonopin .5's put me into withdrawal and everyday I've been in constant anxiety and having panic attacks right and left. I'm a full time student at Paul Mitchell Cosmotology School and am taking my first clients this Saturday. I cannot function like this. I have called my new psych dr about 4 times and each time they say they will email or contact him telling him to call me and he hasn't. They also said that he wont even be in that office til late January seeing that I think he works in other cities and hospitals and such too. I have even gone so far as to call a million urgent cares/primary care dr's who all have said they will not help me or prescribe me what I need. I can't function at school, I'm terrified about taking clients on Saturday, my parents are acting like this all is just me being dramatic and not knowing how to deal with things, and everything is horrible. Each day from the minute I wake up til night, I feel a lump in my throat, my chest is tight and hurts, my hands shake and get sweaty, I cry easily, can barely hold normal conversations with people, I can't concentrate in school, I have full blown panic attacks where I can't even describe how aweful they feel, etc.
I'm sorry for such a long post but I'm desperate and don't know what to do. I need help. I need to know what to do about this medication problem, as in how can I get back to my regular dosage? Should I see another dr? They will probably just think I'm dr shopping. How can I force my psych dr to get in contact with me? And also, how can I start showing my parents what its like to have GAD and that this is a serious thing that isn't just "in my head" or "me being a drama queen"? I need factual types of things to show my parents so they can understand this more rather than thinking I'm just addicted to pills or just relying on pills to solve my issues.
Any help or advice would help so much. Thank you to all who reply!
I'm sorry for such a long post but I'm desperate and don't know what to do. I need help. I need to know what to do about this medication problem, as in how can I get back to my regular dosage? Should I see another dr? They will probably just think I'm dr shopping. How can I force my psych dr to get in contact with me? And also, how can I start showing my parents what its like to have GAD and that this is a serious thing that isn't just "in my head" or "me being a drama queen"? I need factual types of things to show my parents so they can understand this more rather than thinking I'm just addicted to pills or just relying on pills to solve my issues.
Any help or advice would help so much. Thank you to all who reply!