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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi Everyone
I'm new here. Still trying to get into the chatroom... So I'm getting married and I'm terrified to be the center of attention! I'm trying to talk my fiancé into having a small wedding, just the immediate family. So far he's not going for it. I have told him about my social anxiety and he doesn't really get it. I've also talked to my psychiatrist and he said he could give me something but I'm scared it's not going to work. I've also just increased my antipsychotic to see if it helps. Can anyone help?:(
 

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Pastry Case
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Hi Arina123. The thing that leapt out at me was this: is it a good idea to be marrying someone who doesn't 'get' your Social Anxiety?!
 

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Have you thought of taking whatever your psychiatrist is offering before the wedding, then putting yourself a little outside your comfort zone to see how beneficial it may be for you?

Beware that if it is a benzodiazepine it could be highly addictive, but they can also work miracles if used properly/situationally for occasions like weddings, international flights for those with a fear of flying, a rare public speaking requirement, etc.

This next part is absolutely none of my business, but from personal experience I can tell you that having a loved one respect the reality and severity of what you deal with as a result of SA is very important in a relationship.

Just because he may not have ever felt what you have doesn't make it less real, and if you're going to be getting married anytime soon, chances are he will need to play an integral part in helping you once again feel comfortable in many daily situations. I hope and trust your fiancee is understanding and compassionate in a way one of my serious ex-girlfriends never was. Best of luck and warm wishes to you!
 

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I agree with Serephina and Jahchilren. I'd be a bit worried about marrying someone who doesn't "get" your SA. I'd never want to be with someone who clearly can't understand my struggles enough that they would put me into a position that I've made clear that I'm uncomfortable with. That's really worrying to me. There's no telling how many problems that could cause in the future because how do you know that they'll ever get it? I think that's definitely something you need to make sure he understands BEFORE the wedding since it could be terrible if it causes problems once you're married.

I definitely wouldn't have a wedding that makes you extremely uncomfortable. Obviously you have to take into account what your fiance wants too, but it should be a good day for both of you. You shouldn't be worried about your anxiety on your wedding of all days.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thanks everyone. I think you are all right. I'm going to talk with him. I think I'm just going to tell him the way it's gonna be and that's that. lol
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I talked to my fiancé. He said that it's not a matter of not getting my social anxiety, but that I want to cut out 3 of his closest friends and it wouldn't be fare to him, on the most special day of his life.
 

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Spirit of Vengeance
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Congrats on your upcoming marriage, Arina, I hope all goes well for the both of you.:)
 
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