Social Anxiety Support Forum banner
1 - 6 of 6 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
3 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
It's me again. Needed to ramble some more.. I am a lesbian with a wonderful girlfriend.. I love her and she supports me but does not understand my SA because well.. She is blessed with not having it! I didn't mention that I am a very talented singer.. I won two consecutive talent shows at my old high school and performed at the hard rock here in vegas.. But over the years, I have cut off almost every person I know due to this social phobia. Getting on that stage and singing now would be almost impossible.. Plus, everytime I have sung on stage, I had a few drinks in me.. And before I was with my girlfriend (have been with her for 3 years) .. I would get drunk go to bars and I was very permiscuous.. It was the alcohol (and other drugs) that gave me the courage to dance with girls, kiss, etc. Etc.. U know what I mean.. On the inside, I was confusing sex for love.. And being with them for the inner satisfaction of 'hey this person thinks I'm attractive..' Which gave me temporary self worth.. That was then. I am 24 now.. and I am a mess. I hate who I am. This social anxiety is killing me.. One day I will look back and say.. "Damn.. If I only would have done this.." Or "damn.. If only I WOULDN'T have done this.." Just needed to rant
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
71 Posts
Hi Angie831,
My SA made me pretty depressed at one time, where I went through a bit of what you went through, in regards to not caring much about yourself (but I guess my actions were pretty mild in comparison). You probably just need to take some time to step back and gather yourself again, which does look like what you're doing.
Hope you can pick yourself up and get where you want to be again. :)
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
154,228 Posts
Welcome, Angie831! :)
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
115 Posts
I can definitely relate to the substance abuse due to SA.

When I turned 21, I became an alcoholic because it was so easy to get alcohol. I was like you and I had to drink in order to feel like interacting with others. The odd part is that it actually did work for awhile.

Well part of my drinking was that I would have to get absolutely smashed before going to hang out with a friend and as such I would drive whilst intoxicated all the time.

It caught up with me when I was 21 and I got a DUI which was probably one of the better things to happen in my life.

See I have an alcoholic father and I come from a long line of alcoholics so the only kind of drinking I knew how to do was excessive. I went to these alcohol education classes and they really helped me learn how to drink responsibly.

I cant even remember the last time I got drunk but thanks to the fact that my alcoholism was caught and identified early I am still able to drink 1 or 2 beers with no problem. I dont drink hard liquor at all anymore and drink beer mainly for the taste now.

I have smoked cannabis for many years and while it has the potential to cause problems (mainly legal) it hasn't caused problems in my life as of yet. The cannabis helps in a positive way with SA and if I lived in a medical state it would be the only medication I use because its that effective for me.
 
1 - 6 of 6 Posts
This is an older thread, you may not receive a response, and could be reviving an old thread. Please consider creating a new thread.
Top