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I think I may just have beaten my anxiety.

About a month ago I posted a story about how I had a severe panic attack. I went to the doctor and he prescribed me some Ativan and Effexor. I immediately quit the Effexor after having a severe sweating problem in my sleep and it actually made my anxiety worse. I continued to take the Ativan whenever I felt that it was needed. It would calm me down, but I felt like I was always in a daze. My friend even commented that I had a "I don't give a f---." look

About a month later the attacks returned and I literally felt like I was dying. My heart felt like it was about ready to stop and I could hardly eat. All of this was of course psychological, since my BP was normal and the EKG showed no problems. I'd panic at the thought of having a heart attack when no one was around, despite the fact that doctors were telling me my heart is fine.

About two weeks ago I forced myself to go to the doctor because I just couldn't take the attacks anymore. It felt like a warm rush from the center of my torso that permiated throughout my body, this was then followed by increasing panic. At that point I was willing to try anything he could prescribe me, even if that meant waking up in cold sweats at night. He prescribed me Zoloft instead and two weeks into the treatment I feel AWESOME. I no longer dwell on things I say or do, and I'm actually able to carry a conversation without mentally backtracking, which leads to my fumbling my words. For the first time since I can remember, I'm actually able to talk to people and feel as though my words are my own and not scripted or generic.

Words can't express how great it feels to be 'normal'. I'm not sure if it's the Zoloft or the fact that I literally felt like I was going to die. Perhaps it's a combination of both; but personally I don't care because for the first time in my life I'm not seeing the glass as half empty--I'm seeing it as completely filled.

I wish everyone here the greatest success in beating their anxiety and I only wish I could share this feeling with everyone. :)
 
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