My Story ,Social Anxiety and depression.

(I'm from Europe, the Netherlands. Not very good @ English,do my best. hope you understand my story.)

Finally found the website where I can talk with people that feels the same like I am feeling.

In my childhood I was very shy, quite.
I was afraid to play with the other kids. Had some friend where I was feeling comfortable, but that changed when I got older.

When I was about 14, I was feeling to shy to do things with other kids from my age. I was a little bit sad feeling, en was overwhelmed by the social impressions I get in school.

School was enough for me, I was kind of happy when I was finally home, alone.
When I went 15/16 years old, I was feeling I didn't get along with the other people from my age.
Everybody's starts to go out, starts dating. I was to shy, en had enormous stress during all the social stuff, like school, a birthday party.

Even do thinks with the few friends that I had was to much stressful. Automatically I lost friends, because I just didn't want to do anything.

From that period(15/16 years old) , I become depressed. I didn't like anything.

All the thinks that where so normal for other people where terrifying for me.
(with normal people , i mean people who dont have SA)
Now I am 22 years old, I felt like I totally trow my “young years” away.

I quit school, only think I do is work, thats it. Living with my parents.

I have tried many thinks to solve my problems. Al the cliché advises I'll tried.
Like

-Sporting
-Exposure to my fears
-calming natural supplements

Normal people may benefit from this, but it had not helped me.
I still feel nerves and afraid around people.
I feel not save, like I am getting judged constantly, I don't want people to come to personal.

I want to loose this fear,
Also I am depressed, because of the social anxiety.

The social anxiety prevents me to have social relations,
the depression prevents me from doing thinks, because I feel sober all the time.

Psychologist is a step I don't dare to make.
Maby in the future,

I just want normal life.


One positive note, I'm dreaming from being a musician .
I remember as a little boy I loved music and I want to make music my own when I grow up.
And was very creative as a little kid.
So actually I have a dream/goal that I always wanted, by my 2 problems have prevent me from doing it.
Now I feel like I am to late, 22 years is not old but it feels old for me.
What do you guys (and girls) think?

(may be Is following a your biggest dream a way to overcome your social anxiety because you get good feelings about the results you get from achieving your goal?
I don't know if it really will work, but its a option.)

Thanks for reading my story!,
(if I am finally get rid of the social anxiety one day, I help you all out!.
I will write everything down what helped me.)