[Aliengel]

It's not the prettiest little poem
but it was written the first time i ever broke down.

Why do you hurt me
make me cry
you jumped like and idiot
and messed up your plan
dont even realize i've gotthe upperhand
I see you do
what you all do
and your gonna have to leave cus you see my shoes
are about to kick you
out my world

You came a long way
a long distance to my world
and when you landed you thought you had made it
and jumped like an idiot and messed up your plan
dont even know...

What you dont know is first you had to find
the ocean that surrounded
the country that surrounded
the state that surrounded
the city that surrounded
the county that surrounded
the apartment that had three doors
and one lead to a room which had a closet
with a notebook and
a little girl inside
who cries out why
is her heart
riped cut stabbed burned torched paining hurting
from the hole inside
which was holding what your looking for
see you came a long way from a long distances
and when you landed you thought you made it and
jumped like an idiot and messed up your plan
dont even know i am the upperhand
i see you do
what you all do
and your gonna have to leave cus you see my shoes
are gonna kick you
out my world

see you came a long way from a long distances
and when you landed you thought you made it and jumped right in
What you dont know is first you had to find .............

my soul

 

[Ebeneezer]

This is a good poem. I liked how you repeated certain phrases. And the "shoes are gonna kick you" was funny. I also liked the "zooming in" on you in your room.