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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
How can I help him? He wants to make money but he is too scared to actually apply. It is af he is standing on a diving board ready to jump but cannot do it yet. What would help you guys? I have his resume typed out, an application to Petland is ready with a nice letter saying why he wants a job there. It was his idea to try for a job at Petland. I left everyhting with him and told him, when you are ready you will do it. Now what??? I don't want to enable him to not do it but I don't want to put too much pressure on him. Suggestions? Ideas? What can I say to him??
 

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Getting a job/study is good, we could know more friend/people and get into daily routing than to start thinking rubbish thought with so much time. Try reward your son something eg- when he get a job, first pay or so can be anything. Spending more time outside with your son is good , too let him or help him have some good happy memory as it will help in the long term . daily will be best. take some time but don't give out. xD
 

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I think the best thing you can do is give him lots of encouragement. You've given him all the tools he needs. Now its his to turn to take the first step.
 

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Your son sounds exactly like me. I think you're doing the right thing so far though, you're being encouraging and not forcing him. The diving board analogy is absolutely what it feels like...frankly, I see a lot of parallels between how people deal with physical fears like that and how they deal with emotional/psychological fears. I always took my time and really had to work myself up to jump off diving boards and Im the same way with other fearful challenges.

My parents on the otherhand...were a bit more of the mind that jumping is the only way to get over the fear - which was not a method that works for me at all. Instead, all my fears got reinforced, my first job experience was horrific and it created more anxiety than it solved. So I think if I were to go back, I'd recommend really addressing his fears with him and making sure he has a motivation strong enough to carry him through the challenges. He wants money...but obviously that isnt yet a strong enough force to negate his hesitance and give him the confidence he needs. Maybe a special purchase to save for? Maybe you can have a reward for him after he gets an interview/gets a job etc.
 

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Cynical Idealist
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Haha I relate so well to this. My problem with jobs has never been writing the application / resume, or the interview process, or fearing the actual job.. it's always been turning in the application. Even though I'm well aware it's irrational, I get the fear that I'll be rejected just upon turning in the application, and so have trouble psyching myself up to hand it in.

If your son is anything like me, then I'd just say to encourage him without nagging. Make sure he knows that it's irrational to fear turning in the application, and just do everything you can to help him take the one big step without taking it for him.
 

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He has to realize working is something he has to do and not a decision. If he wants money and the experiance he has got to do it, and if he fails its not so bad.

Also I think the resume writing and whole process should be done by him not you, its not your responsibility. How old is he?
 

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HeavyDirtySøul
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Ah! Thats exactly what Im going through. My parents are pressuring me and Im so stressed and scared about getting a job. I think the only part that terrifies me is the interview. I think Id be alot more confident if I practiced serveral questions with my parents. Maybe you could try that and boost their confidence that way? Just a thought. I hope everything works out :)
 

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When was the last time he was actually in PetLand? Maybe going there, without handing in the application, will make it easier to go in on another day, with the application...
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Oh thank you guys. All your replies and suggestions are right on. Yes, good idea cheat to just go to Petland. I wanted to do this so thanks for reinforcing me. Samuel89 I do take him out and get him to leave the house often. I have done this since he was small. He just got his license and I bought him a car I am hoping that is motivation to work so he can gewt things for it, he wants an Ipod plug in thingy for it. I have told him he needs to pay for that. Casey you are right he needs to take the next step I cannot do it for him. Radienca you are right I will continue to help him figure out what his exact fears are, I suspect they are dealing with co-workers (valid). Identitycrisis - it is an irrational fear but I know even those can stop a person. Beryl he is 18. He had a resume from school and I updated it for him. He would not do it since it is on my computer and I don't think he would even attempt it. I am fine with doing it but the rest is up to him. Kels I have to say the interview is gross. I hated them always too. I found that I would go to one and then come home and write down all the questions I could remeber so I could practice for the next one. It also helps to make a bit of small talk with the interviewer so you can relax a bit.
 
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