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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My new coworkers "talk...why don't you talk...say something"

I started a new job in accounting a few months ago and my office mate and a few other work people said that to me.

I speak when spoken to, tell people things about work if they need to know it, and if I have a question I will ask it. I do my work otherwise.

Today one of the older men got on my nerves. He was all "well if you worked with me i'd make you talk"...I told him "sometimes you learn more from listening than you do from talking" and he said "well you'll learn there are important things you keep to yourself and a lot of other things you can talk about"----I simply said "if it is not important, why do we need to be talking about it at work?" he just looked at me like I was young and dumb.

Excuse me for not staying in the hall or other people's offices and chatting about nonsense. I hate meaningless chatter. I don't know how to tell these people that maybe they talk TOO MUCH not that I don't talk enough. :mum
 

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Today one of the older men got on my nerves. He was all "well if you worked with me i'd make you talk"...I told him "sometimes you learn more from listening than you do from talking" and he said "well you'll learn there are important things you keep to yourself and a lot of other things you can talk about"----I simply said "if it is not important, why do we need to be talking about it at work?"
Those are great comebacks. It's good that you stood your ground.

'A wise man speaks when he has something to say. A fool speaks when he has to say something.'
 

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He was all "well if you worked with me i'd make you talk"...
It is little comments like this that would absolutely infuriate me.

Clearly, someone with this kinda perspective doesn't understand anything about anxiety. If he did, he wouldnt have said "i'd make you talk".

If it was me, I would have told him that I dont talk much do to a documented disability. This usually has the effect of making employers **** their pants cause their worried about lawsuits.

If employers know you have a documented disability then they are required to make reasonable accommodations as stated in EEO laws.
 

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Sorry you have to deal with that. I think you handled it pretty well considering you can't really say the kind of comebacks that you would really like to say to them.
 

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It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.

Attributed to Mark twain
 

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I think it is an accomplishment in itself that you stood up for yourself. That is something I have always been too cowardly to do. I wish I had your bravery and wit.
By the way that guy sounds like a real jerk. It seems as if those are the only type of people we are ever around. But again kudos to giving those comebacks because I would've just stared at him and blushed.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
It is little comments like this that would absolutely infuriate me.

Clearly, someone with this kinda perspective doesn't understand anything about anxiety. If he did, he wouldnt have said "i'd make you talk".

If it was me, I would have told him that I dont talk much do to a documented disability. This usually has the effect of making employers **** their pants cause their worried about lawsuits.

If employers know you have a documented disability then they are required to make reasonable accommodations as stated in EEO laws.
I have often wondered if I should say that, but I worry that once I say that the gossip wheel will run wild and it will get turned around into something like I'm like a four legged person who used to be in the psych ward. :b
 

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On the flip side, they have no business asking you anything. If the gossip flies, they can be fired.
 

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I found a lot of older people were actually some of the worst about commenting on how quiet I was. Not sure I understand why but the most comments I ever get are from people at least 20 years older than me. The worst comments I ever got have been from people in their 70s-80s including a teacher in high school that started to lecture me about how rude I was for never holding a conversation with her. I've always ignored it and found they give up faster if you do. If you respond then you do get the impression they think of everything you just said as youthful stupidity.
 

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I never can understand why it's a crime to not talk a lot. Every time I've worked at a job, I've gotten the 'you're so quiet, say something.' Or I hear from someone, 'it's always the quiet ones you have to watch out for.'

When I want to talk, I say something. When I want to listen, I don't. Why is that so hard for some people to understand?
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
I found a lot of older people were actually some of the worst about commenting on how quiet I was. Not sure I understand why but the most comments I ever get are from people at least 20 years older than me. The worst comments I ever got have been from people in their 70s-80s including a teacher in high school that started to lecture me about how rude I was for never holding a conversation with her. I've always ignored it and found they give up faster if you do. If you respond then you do get the impression they think of everything you just said as youthful stupidity.
Yeah, everyone in my place is at least 20 years older than me. :um

Yapping extrovert people.
 

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Yeah, everyone in my place is at least 20 years older than me. :um

Yapping extrovert people.
Basically the same with me.
There's one person I can't ignore, simply because he never shuts up. That's no exaggeration. When I come into work my expression is :blank and 9 times out of 10 he'll be rofl'ing to himself over something he said. Brings annoying to a whole new level when I'm also expected to find things hilarious that aren't. I'm sorry, I can't pretend that early in the morning.

Not to say that I'm a downer or anything. He's just extremly talkative and it's hard to escape not being spoken to about things I couldn't care less about.
 

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Ugh, I deal with those kinds of morons every day at work. Well done for standing up to them, I need to work up the courage to do that too. I may use some of your comebacks :D
 

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If one of my coworkers said that to me, I would be even quieter/disappear altogether, ie., I would tip toe in and out of work, hide in the shadows when I can and eat lunch in the bathroom, they wouldn't even know i was there anymore. :um

to clarify, if they want quiet i'll show them quiet.
 

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Same happened to me a while ago. I was in the back room getting some things and one of my coworkers and my boss were back there talking, and my coworker mentioned (jokingly) that I was being "the quiet one" again today.

I answer: "C'mon, I talked to you earlier"
She says: "Yeah, barely"
Then it just pops into my head and I say it: "Then try and say something interesting for once"

My boss bursts out laughing "She got you!" she tells her. Later she went out and told all my other coworkers and they all laughed too - they seemed pretty suprised I'd said something.

rare glory moment :boogie
 

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I used to get that from people. It's like harassment. I'd get so overwhelmed I didn't know what to tell them.
 
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