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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
This is kind of random, but I was just thinking about some things. Firstly, my parents are seperated and so starting this year my mum has been looking on dating sites. At first she treated it like she was just joking around in looking on them, but then she joined a couple of sites and in rsvp.com's case, paid for something called stamps which allow you to communicate with other people on the site. I kind of worry for her reasons for wanting a man though. It seems like she just wants someone else to make her happy, rather than for her to sort out her life and find happiness within herself. I haven't told her this because I know she'd yell at me. She sees things like this different to me I guess.

Um, anyway, she acted all rejected at first when hardly anyone contacted her, but now she gets messages from a decent amount of people. Two of them have even asked if she wants to meet up, and she's said yes to one, and is meeting him at a cafe on Sunday. Up until they planned that meeting, this hadn't really been real. I had expected my mum to give up on the whole online dating thing (she even said a few times she was getting sick of it and would probably give it a rest soon), but now it's suddenly like she's actually dating and a few things worry me. Number one; I'm concerned that she might attract someone who ends up being just like my dad, which isn't a good thing (aaand I could go into that but then this would be a really epic post). Number two; most of these men have kids (and my mum doesn't seem interested when they've never had any children for her own reasons). The guy she's meeting has quite a few.. I forget if it was 4 or maybe more. That fact alone scares me. It might be an awesome thing if my mum were to find a guy who has some really nice kids I could befriend but then, that's another thing.. nice kids. The dads always make them sound so motivated, the thought of my mum introducing me, this 20 year-old who lives at home and hasn't really experienced life (not to mention, is unemployed, ect) is cringe-worthy. Like I need more people to be compared with.

So it's obviously very early on and nothing might even come of this date she has, or any potential dates in the future, but still, it makes me think about the people that might be coming into my life (who I mightn't exactly want :blank).

Can anyone else relate at all, or am I just crazy? lol.
 

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Can't really relate, as my parents are still married (to each other, I should add) but your post made me think of that one scene from Seinfeld, when George's mother leaves his father and starts dating....

Estelle: "I'm out there, George."
George: "You're not out there."
Estelle: "I am too."
George: "You're not out there. You can't be because I am out there. And if I see you out there there's not enough voltage in this world to electro-shock me back into coherence."

:)
 

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Yeah, I can relate. My parents are divorced and before the divorce was final, my mom had found someone else. And that person has kids. It was strange at first, still is I guess.

At first I felt a little like I was being compared to his kids. But I think that's just the way parents share information about their kids. And before we had met I dropped out of college, so that looked wonderful I am sure. I don't get along with a few of his kids, I think they will never be happy as long as their dad isn't with their mom. Living arrangements were awkward for awhile, I always felt like I couldn't be myself, but now, three years later that feeling isnt around anymore...
 

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My parents are divorced and my mother currently is dating a man (at least last time I checked). The living arrangement was awkward and unpleasant. I no longer live with my mother or have any contact with her. Experience tells me that if there's a problem in any form about someone your parent is dating, there's no acceptable or respectable way bring fourth the problem. All criticisms about someone your parent is dating are automatically considered childish and to have ulterior motives. Most parents would rather secure their intimate life than acknowledge real problems. I think there's degrees of livability but ultimately it's not a sustainable arrangement.
 

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ive never understood why parents who have kids and get divorced choose to date. Thats pretty selfish imo.
 

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ive never understood why parents who have kids and get divorced choose to date. Thats pretty selfish imo.
I was bitter when my parents separated after 20+ years of marriage and three kids. They've since been remarried, and I only have one step-brother that's a real d!ck; everyone seems to be alright.

Divorce followed by dating is alright, I think, so long as the the parents do about it PROPERLY, which, I'm sure many don't.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
ive never understood why parents who have kids and get divorced choose to date. Thats pretty selfish imo.
I don't see why. I don't like the idea of being stuck with people I don't like but I don't see how it's selfish. The worse thing would be my parents staying together. I think it's crazy when two people stay together 'for the children' because for one thing, if said parents are miserable together, how do they expect their kids to be happy?

Anyway, my mum went on her date today, if you'd call it that lol. She said they didn't really click and it was sort of like she was just talking to her brother, lmao. It's weird though, because suddenly she's raising all these points like she's only starting to think about it all now. As she said, what would we do about living arrangements if she got serious with someone? What if they have a lot of pets and they don't get on with ours? And all this other stuff.

I just found it interesting that she was only thinking of a lot of this stuff now. It's almost like going to meet this guy suddenly made it real for her.
 
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