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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hello, I'm marco i'm 19 years old. Is the first time i write a post in this forum.

Is about one year that i feel really bad in social situations. I read a lot about SA and all other mental illnesses and disfuncions that could be related. Looking for a solution or at least tips that could help me. I don't accept the fact that i have SA and I never will. I hate when i read about people that try to avoid everything and don't to do something that could really help. SA anxiety is something that can be removed and something horrible to have.


You have to force yourself to interact with people. You have to keep in mind that people don't know what is going on in your brain, they don't have ANY idea. If you **** up a conversation, don't know what to reply because you go blank or look stressed and anxious nothing bad is going too happened. People will not hate you or try to kill you or whatsoever. People around you just think you are not interested in what they say and not interested in doing conversation with them.

Most of us are really intelligent, the problem is that we focus our mind on the wrong things. When we have a conversation we don't listen but we think about other stuff. We hyper focus on the other person mind: what he might be thinking about me, ecc ecc.

Is all about focus!
You have to focus 100% on what the person in front of you is saying, look at him in the eyes and listen. There is no need to worry thinking about what to say next, because as long as you give him attention she/he will feel comfortable with you.
Look at him in the eyes and pretend you are interested. This is the only way you can connect with a person. If you look at the ground or stare at something else during the conversation you **** up. Eye contact is the first important thing. Important thing also to well understand. You don't have to worry about what he is thinking, because in that particular moment he is thinking about what to say and not about "what is wrong with you".
When is our turn to talk often we give a quick response and look away (worried or ashamed...). WRONG!. This is the crucial part, doing like this you block the conversation. Even if you feel anxious and gave a stupid response keep the attention on him! Look at him! Is important! For shure he will tell you something more he will keep talking because people are more interested in talking than listening.

We are really unsecure, so try to move the attention to the other person. Is really hard for us to talk but is not hard to ask a questions. Try to find something you like form conversations. If you fail once, try a second time. Once you succeed once there is no limit!

Not interacting with anybody for long time will make things worst.
Before you go out listen to something you really like that makes you happy. When you walk and you feel the fear rising focus on the things you have around, keep you eyes moving (it helps concentration).

I wrote this text because i want to help. I'm sorry if is not very clear or the english is bad, is not my first language.
 

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If it's in your nature to look away when you talk to someone it will be hard to practice what you said here. If you have to constantly remind yourself "look into his eyes" it will not look natural, you won't be able to look comfortable.
 

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I'm just saying these shouldn't be things that you do consciously. They should be reflexes and I don't have them.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I think you have just to get used to it. Once you are used to conversate and find out what you are interested in conversation maybe that worry might go away a little bit at least. I don't know is just an idea, i'm also not out of it yet. I just started uni and i'm really worried because even if i understand a concept i can not explain it.
 
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