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My great battle for this summer!!! CCHHHAARRGEE!!!

6K views 91 replies 30 participants last post by  DanCilley 
#1 ·
alright, its almost time for a social charge!!! this summer Im going to do all the following like crazy:
-toastmasters
-nightclub/bars
-meeting SAS people in person
-speed dating
-cultural events
-social clubs
-dating relationship bootcamp
-spiritual classes
-meetup.com
-mall excersizes(changing perceptions in cafeteria, chit chatting with salespeople in stores, asking people for time, etc)
-phone people i know for chit chat
-phone people i dont know for chit chat(may use soundboard technology for assistance)
-Dances and dance classes
-online dating
-use excort service or female friends for practice date
-webcam/mic chats
-have someone video tape me proposing marriage to random strangers

all for one goal: to become a super duper extroverted social butterfly that can make friends or girlfriend anywhere!!!

Preparation:
secure the beliefs that:
-the only failure is not trying, everything else is a learning experience. Going out=success, staying in= failure
-being too lazy to go out makes me weak
-people are fun to hang out with and play with
-I can have a fun time with people
-I can lead people
-I can form relationships
-fear or any other feeling is not a valid reason to stop trying

I have to finish up my getting of abs of steel before i can commit time to this social plan. Ill have to give it a good fitness charge and dedicate the next few weeks to nothing but fitness.
Then it will be summer, people out and about, and it will be time to dedicate everything to social life! it will be time for the social charge!!! CCCCCCHHHHAAAAARRRGEEE!!!
 
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#6 ·
okay that is a reason
but to me he seems to exaggerate it, he seems to do so bad, he even bare to do all this stuff that people without SA have fear of. like speeddating for instance.

it is one thing to get socially active but to put oneself so hard out isnt healthy in my opinion
 
#5 ·
It's great to be driven, but be methodical about it AJ. Use your energy wisely because you have a ton. It'd be cool if you post a picture of your progress. When I developed a six-pack, for the longest time I didn't believe I had it, while people were calling me Bruce Lee and ****. Just because you don't have a six-pack like Vin Diesel doesn't mean you don't have a six pack.
 
#11 ·
Good luck on accomplishing those goals! I believe it is good to have plenty of ambition. Shoot for the moon and even if you miss, you will land among the stars (that is a famous quote from somewhere). Even if you don't accomplish everything on your list, you should be proud of yourself just for making the effort.

Best of luck to you this summer! Do you have abs of steel yet?
 
#14 ·
thanks all, and dont worry about it being too hard

Ive actually already done everything on the list at least once, cept speed dating.

I just need to do tons of it so it sticks
 
#16 ·
-dating relationship bootcamp
-phone people i dont know for chit chat(may use soundboard technology for assistance)
-online dating
-use excort service or female friends for practice date
-webcam/mic chats
-have someone video tape me proposing marriage to random strangers
You already tried all those? I know people without SA who wouldn't do half the things you mentioned. You confuse me, AJ.
 
#21 ·
Ok! here we go!

yesterday I went out dancing and did both dancing on my own if front of everyone plus i danced a few times with the prettiest girl in the room
then everyone went out and I was like "group hug!!" and we all hugged, haha
and we walked around in a dark dangerous neighborhood and talked.
then I drove down to the local bar/club area and yelled stuff out the window at people, haha

and all without drinking any alchohol

today Im going to church and then out for lunch with friends
 
#24 ·
ok, so i went out to church and ended up meeting a bunch of people and we all went to a seminar thing for improving your life, then we went for some burgers.
and just now I went out and chilled with this girl i know

aaah, im out of control

and yet still, i must have more!!!
 
#25 ·
Congrats on your successes! It sounds like you are doing great. It does seem like a lot, but that can be good. Sometimes the only way to overcome something like this, is to throw yourself right in to the deep end. I really should start pushing myself more.
 
#26 ·
went out to dinner and movie with girl on friday, went out with her again on saturday and drove around seeing stuff in the city. and today I went to yoga class, went to church, went to a cultural gathering and eating, and then went to a little apartment dinner party and socialized all day.

alot of stuff, and I gotta say, this isnt going to well. Im just forcing myself to do all these things and i hate doing them. you can change things physically, but if your mentally ****ed up, your screwed. you cant cut open your brain and fix it. I dont know what to do.

possible ideas:

-develop a bad boy mentallity where I care more about myself than anyone and just do and say whatever i feel like with the goal of having fun

-develop a warm hearted mentallity where I just visuallized kindness and love in people all day long, until proven otherwise, and keep smiling and staying positive

-develop a I-suck-haha mentallity, so when I suck at something I just find it funny and keep trying


but damn, i dont know how to change mentalities, its very difficult to create a permanent change to your way of thinking. you can force it to change, but its back again the next day!!

the hypothesis is that is I keep changing my mentallity to the desired one, it will eventually become habitual

but how long will this take? and how can I keep this up 24/7????

some tests need to be conducted
 
#27 ·
ok, heres what ill do:
I get tired at work and wanna just go home and relax. I will change my mentality to love work and enjoy what im doing right to the end to the point that I wanna do it again.

once ive figure out how i changed the mentality, i shall apply the same principal to the harder situation of social mentality

and ill turn the nice guy, negative thinking, 'fear of failure' attitude into a bad boy, positive thinking guy who gets a kick at being sucky at stuff

ill do it tomorrow!! and then on tuesday ill see if it sticks, meaning i enjoy my job automatically without having to think about it. if it doesnt, ill have to try again until it does become a automatic habit.
once its made clear how to and how long it takes to work, I can write up a structured instructions on how to change mentality and apply it to socializing, friends, dating, etc
 
#28 ·
ok, it worked out pretty good!

I had so much fun doing my job today.
its quite the fun challenge to try to have fun when things are difficult. All day today bad stuff was happening and I was laughing my *** off threw it all. I was spilling my drink and mixing up my work and getting all lost and it was cold out, but it was fun cause I saw it all as a challenge and glorious adventure.

I kept up that attitude for 8 hours straight, and although i slipped into negativity occasionally I just kept correcting myself with the goal of building the good mindframe into an automatic habitual thing.

so I should have form a little bit of a habitual response today, so tomorrow when bad things happen, I should automatically find it funny and stay positive. If theres even a little bit of the habit formed, then this is a success, ill just have to repeat what i did today again and again until this habit is very strong and can stand on its own.

then I can use this same technique for social situations.
 
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