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I don't want to go out with them. I don't want to go to their birthday parties, or the school dance that they all have dates for (I'm already gay, that makes finding a date hard enough). All I can tolerate is one friend at a time at either my house or their house, and sometimes even that is too much. I just wish I could explain to them that it isn't about them, it's 100% about me and my shortcomings. I can't though, because they are the approaching type and I am the approached type because of SA. Not to say that I don't love them, but they don't have the same problems as the people on here do. How do you keep up friendships if you can't ever do anything with your friends? It's summer, so I don't see them at school anymore. Sorry this is a bit ranty :um
 

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Annoyed Kitty
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Okay question, how bad is your SA? Also, is going out with them about your anxiety or are you introverted and would rather just stay home?

I asked those questions because keeping friends is work. It would be great if it wasn't but it really is. And since you have friends now that want to do things with you (which having no friends is a problem for a lot of people here), I think you should definitely force yourself to go places with them and hang out, etc. It will be beneficial for you in the long term.
 

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I know exactly how you feel! I have friends who ask me to do things with them a lot, and sometimes I just have to say no because I can't handle having to keep up an appearance. Other times, I have to force myself to hang out, and although I get really nervous before and I get super anxious that I'll say the wrong thing during, you have to realize that they choose to be your friend and they want to hang out with you.

That's the way I try to see it, but some days I really just can't be bothered to go and put myself out there.
 
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