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Up until about 20 I had a great time. I was at university although partying was more my main priority than studying. I flunked my first year as a result but that didn't bother me in the slightest. I had a big event I was really excited for. I enjoy playing football and it was an opportunity to play at my favourite teams stadium. I invited my best friend to come and he brought some of his friends that he always talked about because they're all so "alpha" with very rich parents etc. Basically I paid for this event and it cost me a lot of money. Well what seemed like a lot but in a lifetime it wasn't much. I paid for it and on the day I was too shy to approach them and ask for their slice of the cake so to speak. I felt so stupid the whole day I couldn't ask them. I was so worked up about not asking them that I didn't even ask my closest friend for his. So in the end I got no money. It felt like the world had ended and my life was over. (im still trying to understand why i exaggerated so badly). I started becoming very withdrawn from that day and hardly spoke at all from that day. I have since become more communicative but not more social.

In that time I also developed psychosis. I was playing call of duty and started believing that the usernames were instructions. Not all of them but I saw 2. One that I didn't act upon which I thought translated going to a venue for my birthday as it had a name of a friend I recently travelled to see then a name of a venue near me. A couple of says later I saw something which mentioned "navy" and that was the clan and "Kent" where I lived so I put 2 and 2 together and added Kent on Facebook. Believing this would help me in some way from my sinking depression. And it did to a degree as a few days later I started talking. A few words at a time to begin with and then more fluently. However I never really got the whole confidence thing going again.

Thanks a lot for reading my story and I really hope someone can advise me to what this was. I know reading things as signs etc is a symptom os psychosis and it had me believing it was real for years. Please help me understand what happened. Thank you
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