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Maltese
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Hi..The last time I was on the forum was in July when I found out my Dad had terminal cancer. He died on September 7th and was buried on Sept. 11th. He was 88. I am in my fifties but no matter my age it is still my Dad and I am heart broken. I am trying hard to keep my anxiety under control and help my Mom who is 84. I have a lot of problems sleeping, panic attacks, and crying alot. It has not even been a month and people expect you to move on.....I know he had a good life and the suffering has ended but its still very hard to except. Any suggestions Thanks
 

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It's going to take a while to heal those wounds. Age doesn't matter when you lose a parent, the pain of loss remains the same. Talk about it, relive the good memories in your mind. Also try to find focus on finding something new for your life. Embolden his memory within you.

I'm so sorry for your losing your dad. It's painful to see him get sicker and weaker by the day, losing all his functions. He's now free that he's not suffering any longer, take some solace from it.
 

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I'm sorry about your loss! I hope you move on in a healthy way.
I lost my mom a week before my 20th birthday, Funerals are supposed to help with closure but I didn't feel it change a thing. I'm still picking up the emotional pieces that shattered. It felt like a nightmare for me and I allowed myself to go through the stages of mourning negatively. Silent treatment, anger and spiteful behavior.

Its important to move on and DO NOT DWELL on the loss what so ever Your father would want you to be happy every moment.

I hope you try to find light in your heart in this moment, be strong and look forward always - Only remember his happiness and that he feels no pain or suffering, Your dad lived a long life and God kept him around long enough to see you become a grown up adult. That is accomplishing.
I'm sure the love your Mom and Dad shared is still in her heart and the pain, just remind her of the long life she dad with him too.

Talk to her about memories shared, about her life, listening to her would help you both be happy.
 

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I lost my sister 9 years ago and I find therapy really helps to let out all the emotions that her death left me with. A grief support group could also help. You can express your loss to others and not feel so alone in the grieving process. You'd probably get a lot of good advice on how to cope also. I'm so sorry for your loss.
 

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Poker Junkie
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I'm very sorry for your loss. My parents are their 80's as well. There will come a day that I will have to deal with something like that.
 

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Oh God,I'm sorry to hear to that.. Age doesen't matter,when it comes to family the pain is still the same. But keep in mind that he reached the age of 88,wich is something,not many people live that long. Some people die in their 70's and 60's. Take care and keep your head up.
 

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I am very sorry about your dad. :( I lost mine when he was 61. He died right before I turned 21 (in '02)...brain cancer that was diagnosed less than 8 months prior. The loss never really goes away. I still can't believe sometimes that my father is gone. But, time makes that "sting" go away, so to speak. You have every right to grieve as long as you need. It took me 5 or 6 years, personally. Right now, I'm of the mindset that the dead would want us to go on living. Take care of yourself.
 

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I'm really sorry about that. I couldn't imagine losing anyone I am close to. I highly encourage you to just let time go by and get support from friends, family, etc. That's the only thing that seems to work. Trying to find something new in your life such as a new hobby or something isn't going to work 100% of the time because the person you lost is always going to be on your mind. Trust me, I can relate.
 

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If there was anything I could to do help you surely I would.

It kind of sucks that we can't though.

Honestly whenever I read stuff like this I get physically sick and depressed. Bad news sucks.

and empathy is a b***

Maybe in the distant future we're be able to hold virtua reality group sessions on here, that would be more helpful.


I'm rambling, sorry. We're just all upset that you're upset. You're not alone
 

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Sorry for your loss maltese :blank You have support here on SAS :yes
 

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I'm so sorry for your loss. It must have been hard for you...I know how that feels. I lost my grandmother who was very close to me, and I fell into an episode of clinical depression soon after that.

The only thing I can say is..be strong! You will eventually move on. Just let it all out, do not bury your emotions, it will only make things worse. I hope your Dad rests in peace.
 
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