Social Anxiety Support Forum banner
1 - 20 of 34 Posts

·
Lateralus
Joined
·
2,614 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Just got the e-mail sent out confirming the disturbing rumors I'd heard about my brother's bachelor party. It's an entire ****ing week in June in Buffalo. A massive army of dudes crammed in my brother's college buddy's house in Buffalo.

This is worse than anything I could've imagined. Aren't bachelor parties typically just one night of dumbassery? Why is this a full ****ing week?

My brother chose me as his best man for reasons that transcend comprehension. I was figuring he'd go with his childhood friend who he's still uber tight with. Or another one of his many college buddies. Not ME, an individual who sees him once or twice a year and who he has next to nothing in common with. I tried to get out of it, but my brother's relentless and I conceded defeat.

I didn't even have a say in the planning of the bachelor party. How often do you hear about the best man not planning, let alone being a part of the bachelor party planning? I told my brother I wasn't going to get involved since the idea of ME THROWING A PARTY was utterly insane. My idea of a good bachelor party would be none at all.

I was thinking I could survive one night of dumbassery drugged on enough benzos, but a full week crammed in one house with a horde of dudes? There's no chance I'll be able to do it.

The wedding is in September and I've already been dreading that. The best man gives a speech ( :eek: ) and is center stage next to the bride and groom.
 

·
Bleep blorp blop bip boop
Joined
·
3,947 Posts
Yeah, the best man is supposed to take care of the bachelor party shizz. I think you got screwed.

I'd probably just not go. I'm going to a bachelor party in July for my ex-roommate. It is going to be an incredibly drunken night in a resort/party town close to where I live. 20+ people are staying in the cabin overnight. I told the best man that I was going, but am not drinking and spending the night would be a last minute decision for me. It's a 2 hour drive and I'm sure the festivities will last until 3 or 4 AM. Maybe I'll just sleep in my car if I get too tired.

The bachelorette party is actually going to be taking place in the next room over. Honestly I think i'd rather sneak out and join that party than the bachelor party.
 

·
Lateralus
Joined
·
2,614 Posts
Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Yeah, the best man is supposed to take care of the bachelor party shizz. I think you got screwed.

I'd probably just not go. I'm going to a bachelor party in July for my ex-roommate. It is going to be an incredibly drunken night in a resort/party town close to where I live. 20+ people are staying in the cabin overnight. I told the best man that I was going, but am not drinking and spending the night would be a last minute decision for me. It's a 2 hour drive and I'm sure the festivities will last until 3 or 4 AM. Maybe I'll just sleep in my car if I get too tired.

The bachelorette party is actually going to be taking place in the next room over. Honestly I think i'd rather sneak out and join that party than the bachelor party.
I told my brother I wasn't going to plan it since the idea of me planning a party was borderline insane. He didn't really argue that point.

In hindsight, I should have because this is worse than anything I was thinking they'd come up with. Even one night of bar hopping would be better than this.

I was figuring if it was just a case of bar hopping or going to a club I could slip out once everyone was hammered and nobody'd even notice. Well, everyone'll be hammered at the house - difference is it's for a full ****ing week. Seven days, with all of us staying in the house.

I'm going to have to tell my brother I'm not going and I better not hear grief about it. If he has even the slightest bit of understanding about my condition he should udnerstand why this idea scares the **** out of me. I was willing to pull my nuts up for ONE NIGHT of idiocy but seven days? Peace, yo. Not happening.

Plus, Buffalo? Seriously?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
101 Posts
I was willing to pull my nuts up for ONE NIGHT of idiocy but seven days? Peace, yo. Not happening.
One week is nothing in the grand scheme of things. Hold your head high, be proud that your brother chose you.

You can do this.
 

·
Lateralus
Joined
·
2,614 Posts
Discussion Starter · #6 ·
One week is nothing in the grand scheme of things. Hold your head high, be proud that your brother chose you.

You can do this.
One night would've been more socializing than I have done in the last six years combined. I wish that were hyperbole. It ain't.

One week is simply unimaginable.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
3,074 Posts
Well there realistically has to be some outlets throughout the week that you can get away for breathers (like 6 hour breathers, then showing up and pretending you never left or something like that). Especially if there's so many people- no one's going to be monitoring the attendance constantly. It's worse if it's a smallish group of people because then your absence will always be noted.

Also I think it's sweet your brother wants you to do it- you must mean a lot to him :)

One of my close friends wants me to be her Maid of Honour at her future-to-be wedding after college, but plenty of time for her mind to change. I don't mind any stagette shenanigans but giving a speech in front of a giant crowd..? With sole attention on me? Yeaaaaahh that is NOT happening, no matter how much I care about her.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
10,831 Posts
Will there be strippers at the bachelor party?

I was the best man for my brother's wedding. I had to help organize the bachelor party. I let one of my brother's friends handle the procuring of strippers. I regret that because those strippers wanted to have sex for money. They tried to drag my brother into a room with them. For a few minutes they disappeared into a room together and I thought he was doing it with them. He's my little brother. I felt responsible for him hooking up with a couple of hookers the night before his wedding. Fortunately, he didn't do anything.

Also there was a point where the girls literally ripped his clothes off and ...(I can't even describe what happened next)

Finally, one of the girls showed us a new way of smoking a cigarette.

It was all a little too raunchy for my tastes but it was fun overall. I can't imagine why you wouldn't want to go to a bachelor party.

I would be too busy worrying about the best man speech to worry about something as easy as a bachelor party.
 

·
Simon Says...
Joined
·
1,693 Posts

·
Lateralus
Joined
·
2,614 Posts
Discussion Starter · #11 ·
I can't imagine why you wouldn't want to go to a bachelor party.
It's this thing called "social anxiety disorder." Which is the reason I'm on this website.

I would be too busy worrying about the best man speech to worry about something as easy as a bachelor party.
I've been worried about the damn thing ever since my brother named me best man. It's not until September and I'm worried about it.

I've done something similar. only way I got through was to be perma-pissed... not easy for 7 days straight I assure you.
Oh? What was it?
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
127 Posts
I think it's tradition for the brother of the groom to be best man. I'd tell him that a week of drinking is a bit much for you and that you'd rather go out as just you and him for a few bears one night.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,045 Posts
Tell him to make you and his buddy co-best men. That's what my brother did. I didn't really have to do anything but get up on the altar with him. You get to dance with the maid of honor too!
 

·
Lateralus
Joined
·
2,614 Posts
Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Just had a quick text exchange with my brother. I told him I didn't want to go. He said "he really wanted me to go." I'm about to tell him I'm not going, period.

He's going to have to deal with that.
 

·
Lateralus
Joined
·
2,614 Posts
Discussion Starter · #15 ·
Tell him to make you and his buddy co-best men. That's what my brother did. I didn't really have to do anything but get up on the altar with him. You get to dance with the maid of honor too!
It's interesting you bring that up.

The maid of honor in this case is the sister of the bride. I actually have met her once and liked her. She's got an eating disorder (anorexia) and spent a period of time at a residential treatment center. It's one of the world's worst kept secrets.

Despite her likely having a poor self image, she's actually quite attractive. I'm terrified of dancing with her, though - and she's one of the most harmless people you'll meet
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
8,540 Posts
I feel your pain, as I just had to endure a wedding for one of my sisters...the one I'm closest with. Originally I was part of the wedding party, but backed out about 3 weeks before the wedding. It was tough on me to do that because I knew it would hurt her...but I didn't have a real choice. In theory, I had a choice, but with social anxiety disorder...nope.

I went to the wedding ceremony and didn't attend the reception afterwards.

I know this is a site for supporting people, trying to encourage them to face fears and not give up...and normally, that's what I'd attempt to do here. But, I'm not going to.

You have a mental illness...a disability, really. You have to do what is best for your mental health, and if that means disappointing your brother, then so be it. I explained to my sister that, while I know she was disappointed I couldn't be in the wedding or be at the reception, she couldn't possibly be more disappointed than I was in myself, for not being able to do that. And I'm sure you'll be more disappointed than your brother ever could be. But you gotta do what you gotta do...
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
2,045 Posts
Oh man you should go for it then. She's been through a lot it sounds like. I don't think she would judge you negatively.
 

·
~ in the ether ~
Joined
·
611 Posts
You could ask him to pick one night out of the seven, the most important night to him that you be there.... & Only go for that one night.
 
1 - 20 of 34 Posts
Top