Social Anxiety Support Forum banner

1 - 13 of 13 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
257 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Damn I let one of my 2 close friends in college use my computer and he found my 5 or so ebooks in "downloads" about self confidence and social skills. He was just cruising through my downloads to find a place to save a file and I'm sure he saw them. Afterwards he was acting super nice to me, I hated it. I mean he's the one who got me into the book thing, as he taught me there's a book for "game" ("The Game" a pick up artist book), but now I feel like I'm labeled, and I need special attention from him.

I want to earn attention not be given it free. Now he'll see me as "the guy with SA," labeled, and won't see me for who I am... I mean he knew I was working through this stuff, but now that he knows that I'm using books and all my successes will be due to them and not my own power. God dammit did I just lose a close friend?

EDIT: and what's worse is that when people feel sorry for me, I feel sorry for myself. It was conditioned into me when I was a child, and when I would get a cut or something my mom would act like I needed a huge amount of emotional support, and then I would start crying, buying into the idea that I needed it. So I feel sad whenever anyone tries to pick me up. AGH
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
1,338 Posts
dont worry man, he probably just thinks youre shy, he must already know, at least its not a mental disorder right, i always clear my history when coming to this site because i would be embarrassed if my bro or anyone else seen this site, so i know how you feel, but its at least its not a serious problem like something permanent, its just temporary
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
257 Posts
Haha that is pretty awkward. If my family or friends saw that I go on these sites, I would feel really embarrassed. Because of that, I understand why you feel that way you do. But when you really think about it, he's your friend so you shouldn't worry about it too much. Maybe he'll be happy since he sees you're making an effort to better yourself.
 

·
In hiding
Joined
·
1,455 Posts
I'm kinda paranoid my sister will find something on my computer relating to my SA. It's my computer but I have a user account for her cause she uses the internet on it sometimes. But sometimes she jumps right on mine without letting me log off first and I'll think the address for this site might show up if she looks for a website starting with S. :um
 

·
Geese
Joined
·
20,768 Posts
I told everyone in my family pretty much as I was going through it, it was the best thing I could have done because they really did support me.

Took me a few years to tell my friends but I am also glad I did. Yes it was a little annoying how they kinda felt sorry for me at times, but at the same time the fact they did care meant they really were good friends, and by the sounds of things yours are not different.

It's not a bad thing.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
31 Posts
he knew I was working through this stuff, but now that he knows that I'm using books and all my successes will be due to them and not my own power.
That is your own power you are arming yourself with knowledge, YOU are the one going out of your way to better yourself.

God dammit did I just lose a close friend?
but it sounded like he was very supportive, if anything it may give him a better understanding of where your coming from, and that should strengthen your friendship
 

·
SAS Member
Joined
·
31,286 Posts
This is probably something you should talk to him about, because it seems like he doesn't know how to act around you now which may be because he's misinterpreting what he saw.
 

·
sa challenger
Joined
·
5,079 Posts
Damn I let one of my 2 close friends in college use my computer and he found my 5 or so ebooks in "downloads" about self confidence and social skills. He was just cruising through my downloads to find a place to save a file and I'm sure he saw them. Afterwards he was acting super nice to me, I hated it. I mean he's the one who got me into the book thing, as he taught me there's a book for "game" ("The Game" a pick up artist book), but now I feel like I'm labeled, and I need special attention from him.

I want to earn attention not be given it free. Now he'll see me as "the guy with SA," labeled, and won't see me for who I am... I mean he knew I was working through this stuff, but now that he knows that I'm using books and all my successes will be due to them and not my own power. God dammit did I just lose a close friend?

EDIT: and what's worse is that when people feel sorry for me, I feel sorry for myself. It was conditioned into me when I was a child, and when I would get a cut or something my mom would act like I needed a huge amount of emotional support, and then I would start crying, buying into the idea that I needed it. So I feel sad whenever anyone tries to pick me up. AGH
If he's a "close friend", he'll be happy for you and proud that you're trying to overcome SA.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
56 Posts
At least he cares about you, and maybe he's not labeling you but just tryin to help
Since he's ur best friend I'm sure he won't treat you differently because of ur SA
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
867 Posts
my family and only friend knows i have sa. and my friend thinks it's silly the way i think at times in terms of being uncomfortable around people. but i find it helpful to talk with him about it sometimes cause when i told him that i get nervous walking along side a lot of car traffic cause i feel people can see me and judge me and i can't see them, he tell me that people don't really care or pay attention to me as much as i think. and it helps me when he said that even though i kind of knew it already.

my friend has problems himself though with his bipolar and addicted to pot. so he understand that everyone got problems and I'm not different than anyone else dealing with there own issues.
 
1 - 13 of 13 Posts
Top