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I used to experience a lot of emotional grief in the past. I've experienced being lied to, being manipulated, not being told what I've really been thought about, and all sorts of games all to get me out of in-groups and to other groups. What I've learned over time however though is that most people do mean what they say.

There are a lot of people out there that might not accept you and there are also people out there that will accept you. What you need to do is find those people who are most interested in you, that will be willing to talk to you about anything, that don't mind hanging out with you, and actually are willing to hang out with you.

People that say that they want to hang out usually DO want to hang out with you UNLESS you've done something (whether rightly or wrongly) to piss them off. The only people that lie to you and set you up and lead you on after making it seem like they want to hang out with you are people that probably wouldn't have been good friends with you in the first place.

What you need to do is find these people that are genuinely interested in you and NOT reject their advances. If they want to be closer to you than you should let them in your life.

And also, if you ever find yourself alone you should work towards making friends but you shouldn't cry to yourself when you're alone. Sometimes I wish I could go back to the time I was a loner but I realize being part of a social community is much better and having people that I can count on makes me feel much more alive than just sitting on my computer all day doing nothing but arguing with internet trolls.

So, in sum, find people that are interested in you back, and don't reject their advances. But on top of all of that, you still need to show interest in other people too. Just because 50 different social groups have rejected you doesn't mean that you should stop looking for more people. You shouldn't be alone all your life. It just isn't right.

And for those that say, oh but my social skills aren't good enough what should I do? There's good news for you guys... social skills can always be improved. I used to be horribly awkward too... but I found someone that was willing to talk to me and I talked to her like almost every week and I was interested in her, but I also used it as an opportunity to kind of practice my social skills too and now we're close to each other this semester at school. So, you should find some friends and try to take yourself out of your own comfort zone. It doesn't mean you have to go to all sorts of parties or what not... but, just give it a shot.

Social skills are something that should come naturally and the only reason you don't feel that you're good at it is because you've experienced years of rejection so you've stopped trying-- it's not because you're not good at it-- it's because you haven't found the right people yet.
 

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People that say that they want to hang out usually DO want to hang out with you UNLESS you've done something (whether rightly or wrongly) to piss them off. The only people that lie to you and set you up and lead you on after making it seem like they want to hang out with you are people that probably wouldn't have been good friends with you in the first place. I was a loner but I realize being part of a social community is much better and having people that I can count on makes me feel much more alive than just sitting on my computer all day doing nothing but arguing with internet trolls.
So wish I had known this before I kicked all my friends out of my life. I don't know why, but I always assume people have ulterior motives when dealing with me. It's reassuring to hear this.

Thanks man, this was helpful. I'm going to try to keep this in mind as I move forward.
 
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