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Audacious romantic
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Gloomy thoughts swirl in my head as I am trying to ponder over the motivations of some people and why they do bad things. I can never understand the motivations of others. Perhaps because all people are different. I used to try imaging what I would do if I were someone else but it didn't work. I could not get the hint of what other people have on mind and what their intentions might be. So after finding out some horribly truths, all I can do is ask myself why they are like that.
For example, the person named C... (I will not disclose that name) has hurt me with unfair and unreasonable accusations, unfriended me on the forum and on Skype (I respect that choice of course, though I didn't do anything wrong to give this person reason to behave like that), and keeps placing the postings on the threads I start. This is surprising! So if this individual doesn't like me what makes this person post on my threads, I wonder. But that's a rhetorical question. That person has a very complicated nature. I have read a little about the horoscope of this person born in the year of .... and under the star sign of... and here is what I have found (I will keep the names of the star sign and the Chinese horoscope secret): "All personalities contain weaknesses of character and the ... is no exception. These ... can be extremely blunt and critical at times especially if they are talking to someone who will not listen. They will alter their usual kind friendly approach and their voice's tone will raise. If they really lose their patience a ... is prone to blurt out the other person's faults without tact. These personalities have a fiery temper but it is usually only a verbal one." I think this is true for that person. Hot temper and quick to judge attitude is what I have faced in this person. And I was wrongly accused. However, this person also has a lot of positive and very interesting features like deep intellectual abilities, straightforwardness (which can be a blessing and a curse at the same time) :) and kindness too. I have noticed it in the gentle attitude of this person towards the pet and some other people. But still I can't understand what that person is up to. I suppose, there is much inner struggle this individual experiences. And it is hard to overcome the difficulties because of a strong inner judgments turned towards the self and the others. Sometimes unfair judgments. But I guess I am over analyzing this situation. But this is the habit I have picked from this person. :)
 

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Audacious romantic
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Discussion Starter · #2 ·
I expected some feedback...
 

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I know that I'll never do really evil things because I can't find the motivation to do anything, let alone something that requires as much energy as evil no doubt does.
 

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Audacious romantic
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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I know that I'll never do really evil things because I can't find the motivation to do anything, let alone something that requires as much energy as evil no doubt does.
thanks :hug
 

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1. He is probably posting on any threads he finds interesting. Including your threads. Maybe he didn't know that was a problem.

2. He is obviously still keeping a dose of respect for someone he considered a friend. Otherwise he would have reported you by now or he would have presented his own version of events.

3. If he is anything like me he finds horoscopes to be just a form of pseudo-science. Nothing true.

4. I doubt he unfriended you without a good reason. Maybe you should try to remember what was it that you told him. Could have been something very personal that you used to make sure you will hurt him very much. People tend to put their trust in those that they consider friends and say things that may explode in their faces later on.

5. Hope you will not feel offended, but washing laundries in public is not a nice thing to do.

6. Sorry to hear you are feeling hurt.
 

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Audacious romantic
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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
1. He is probably posting on any threads he finds interesting. Including your threads. Maybe he didn't know that was a problem.

2. He is obviously still keeping a dose of respect for someone he considered a friend. Otherwise he would have reported you by now or he would have presented his own version of events.

3. If he is anything like me he finds horoscopes to be just a form of pseudo-science. Nothing true.

4. I doubt he unfriended you without a good reason. Maybe you should try to remember what was it that you told him. Could have been something very personal that you used to make sure you will hurt him very much. People tend to put their trust in those that they consider friends and say things that may explode in their faces later on.

5. Hope you will not feel offended, but washing laundries in public is not a nice thing to do.

6. Sorry to hear you are feeling hurt.
I was not washing laundries in public. My laundries are safely drying on the balcony, hidden from the outside view. And in the posting, I deliberately kept all the personal information (name, age, sex, horoscope etc) of this person SECRET. I just disclosed some innermost feelings connected with the story that happened in the real life.
And the version of the events... there is only one version which is true. I am not going to go into details in public. Much has been said and I was unfairly accused of many things. Therefore, I had to defend myself. The hurtful thing I said was that the person might have followed the wrong pattern of behavior and attitude (wrongful accusations and aggression) in the previous relationship and that might have been a hurdle on the way to success. And if the person continued the same approach in the next relationship the outcome would be the same as before. But I didn't want to hurt this person though. I don't think this person is evil at heart or has malicious intentions. And of course, I respect the straightforwardness and openness of this person, and all the good personal qualities. And it is not my intention to make people angry.
 

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I was not washing laundries in public.
I think this is the 3rd thread in which you are making comments about that person, accusing him of all sorts of things, all through your perspective. That may be correct or it may very well be wrong.

I deliberately kept all the personal information (name, age, sex, horoscope etc) of this person SECRET.
A few more threads like this will be more than enough to put the pieces together and get a very clear clue about the identity of that person. Some may have already realised what's going on. I did.

there is only one version which is true.
You see, that's the point in which you are wrong. There is no such thing as a single true version of events. There will be at least as many versions of events as people involved in that event. Although it is the same situation, everyone is seeing it through their own eyes, beliefs and interpret it differently. Every one of them may have had different things in mind. Nobody is lying.

I had to defend myself.
Are you sure you were attacked? Couldn't that have been just your impression? Did he call you names or used insults? Did he say he is sure you are this and that? Were you actually blamed? Or was it all just a question or an assumption that you interpreted as an insult/accusation and overreacted?

The hurtful thing I said was that the person might have followed the wrong pattern of behavior and attitude (wrongful accusations and aggression) in the previous relationship and that might have been a hurdle on the way to success. And if the person continued the same approach in the next relationship the outcome would be the same as before.
1. I hardly doubt you have used exactly those words. An angry person does not talk that way. You have probably said a bit more than that as well.

2. You got the privilege of being shared confidential information. You were offered trust. What did you do with that trust and sensitive information? You most likely threw it in his face in an ugly way the first time you felt offended. Did he do the same to you? In private or in public? I see no evidence of that on the forum.

3. Attacking anything from someone else's past relationship is a low move. It's like pressing on an open wound. You weren't part of that relationship so you have no right to toy with it or guess what ''must'' have happened. You can only talk about things you've experienced yourself.
 

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Audacious romantic
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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
I think this is the 3rd thread in which you are making comments about that person, accusing him of all sorts of things, all through your perspective. That may be correct or it may very well be wrong.

A few more threads like this will be more than enough to put the pieces together and get a very clear clue about the identity of that person. Some may have already realised what's going on. I did.

You see, that's the point in which you are wrong. There is no such thing as a single true version of events. There will be at least as many versions of events as people involved in that event. Although it is the same situation, everyone is seeing it through their own eyes, beliefs and interpret it differently. Every one of them may have had different things in mind. Nobody is lying.

Are you sure you were attacked? Couldn't that have been just your impression? Did he call you names or used insults? Did he say he is sure you are this and that? Were you actually blamed? Or was it all just a question or an assumption that you interpreted as an insult/accusation and overreacted?

1. I hardly doubt you have used exactly those words. An angry person does not talk that way. You have probably said a bit more than that as well.

2. You got the privilege of being shared confidential information. You were offered trust. What did you do with that trust and sensitive information? You most likely threw it in his face in an ugly way the first time you felt offended. Did he do the same to you? In private or in public? I see no evidence of that on the forum.

3. Attacking anything from someone else's past relationship is a low move. It's like pressing on an open wound. You weren't part of that relationship so you have no right to toy with it or guess what ''must'' have happened. You can only talk about things you've experienced yourself.
Yes, I am sure I was attacked. I would never say otherwise. The person was making wrong assumptions that I was selfish, money greedy, cold and calculating. This was thrown into my face. And I have given no good reason for this individual to think so bad of me. And I was also sharing personal information with this person because I thought I could trust this individual. But it was so wrong. It turned out that I couldn't rely on this person (emotionally and spiritually) because all I received in response was aggression.
 

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Yes, I am sure I was attacked. I would never say otherwise. The person was making wrong assumptions that I was selfish, money greedy, cold and calculating. This was thrown into my face. And I have given no good reason for this individual to think so bad of me. And I was also sharing personal information with this person because I thought I could trust this individual. But it was so wrong. It turned out that I couldn't rely on this person (emotionally and spiritually) because all I received in response was aggression.
It is my assumption that you are exaggerating that episode. He may have asked you about a possible scenario without actually blaming you for anything. Yes, you can be very sensitive(past unpleasant experiences, own difficulties) and get upset over it. He obviously didn't mean it. Probably even apologized. I imagine you decided not to accept his apologies but to seek some sort of revenge and overreacted. By the way, you seem to be using the word ''aggression'' way too easily.

I don't see why it is you the one that lost trust. It's not like he told the entire forum the personal information you told him. Like you partially did to him.

Anyway, you seem to see everything in white or black. You have placed him on the black spectrum over a single episode that may be as bad as you see it or it may not. It was your decision so I would have imagined you are satisfied with how things have turned out. Apparently you are still not. Otherwise you would not be making more threads about him. That is something I do not understand.
 

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Audacious romantic
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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
I didn't put anyone on the "black list", as you say. And I am not a revengeful person. I am not the one receiving pleasure from quarreling with someone etc. And I don't see the things in black or white only - remember I have brought up good personal qualities of that person too. So it is not all "black".
 

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Do you think this person might have been drunk at the time ? When you say "aggression", did he/she use threatening behavior ? Did you two have an online romantic relationship ?
 

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Audacious romantic
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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Do you think this person might have been drunk at the time ? When you say "aggression", did he/she use threatening behavior ? Did you two have an online romantic relationship ?
No, I don't think this person is in the habit of drinking. Maybe this individual was just overwhelmed with the previous unhappy life events so this has flared some hot temper. And no, we were not in a relationship.
 

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Relating can be a challenge, especially with the wrong approach. It's a challenge for one to always understand even their own motives.

I hate trying to judge someone's motivations without having a solid relationship with the person on trial first. So, I can't help clarify your friend's state of mind. Also, I doubt Astrology will help you come closer to the truth, but :stu

Asking yourself "What would I do in their situation?" can be the worst question to ask. Sometimes, the matter concerns two individuals who perceive life and process information in significantly different ways. Not all enigmas are complicated, sometimes it just requires a different perspective.
 

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Audacious romantic
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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Relating can be a challenge, especially with the wrong approach. It's a challenge for one to always understand even their own motives.

I hate trying to judge someone's motivations without having a solid relationship with the person on trial first. So, I can't help clarify your friend's state of mind. Also, I doubt Astrology will help you come closer to the truth, but :stu

Asking yourself "What would I do in their situation?" can be the worst question to ask. Sometimes, the matter concerns two individuals who perceive life and process information in significantly different ways. Not all enigmas are complicated, sometimes it just requires a different perspective.
Quite true, Zone. Thank you.
 
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