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No, no, no. Dreaded... the swirling, spirals, falling sensation of pure panic. I wake up this morning and feel so bad I take 2 mg of klonopin. No good. I am in a play. But I have no job; I was laid off and cannot find another one. Parents are so angry. For two days I spent with a man that I like at his home. I like him (*throws salt over shoulder*), but when I come home my parents are there, waiting for me. This is last night. My father tells me, "I'm not stupid. I know just what you were doing." And I felt so shamed. On my own, I feel that I did not do anything wrong. I am 21 years old. I take two antacids and that makes my stomach lightly relieved. My mother said the men may think I am a ****. I am too afraid to sit down. I am too afraid to walk out of the door. At this moment, I sing to myself and play my instruments in my own foreign language and own melodies. This calms me down for the briefest moment in time. Please, somebody help me and tell me what to do when you feel these things from inside. My body seeps with dread and shame. I think taking another benzodiazapine would not be a good idea. It might even make this worse. Thank you for listening to my strange talking, that I write of desperation this morning. Please, if you can, tell me something to do.
 

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for the panicky feelings, breathe normally, know that this is not going to kill you, it will pass with time. stop thinking about the stressors, focus on getting your body to feel well, to relax, but don't fight the panicky feelings, accept them and tell yourself they will pass, it is uncomfortable and torturous now but it's not going to kill you, it is only temporary discomfort. you aren't in a state of mind to think about your problems now, they will make you feel worse and there is no point in doing that, so put them aside for now and focus on relaxation and slowing down.
 

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Please feel better soon.
Efsee's advice is great. I hope you can start to feel some calm soon.
And do not feel shameful or guilty just for doing what you wanted to do!
 

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Thank you for those comments. That was good advice to not think of the problems. I did manage to finally calm down. I tried to get my mind off some stuff by uploading a song on youtube. Even though I probably suck. At least it gives me something else to think about.
 

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Sounds like you are carrying alot of shame from your parents. You are a grown woman with natural feelings, live your life with no regrets :)
 
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