No, no, no. Dreaded... the swirling, spirals, falling sensation of pure panic. I wake up this morning and feel so bad I take 2 mg of klonopin. No good. I am in a play. But I have no job; I was laid off and cannot find another one. Parents are so angry. For two days I spent with a man that I like at his home. I like him (*throws salt over shoulder*), but when I come home my parents are there, waiting for me. This is last night. My father tells me, "I'm not stupid. I know just what you were doing." And I felt so shamed. On my own, I feel that I did not do anything wrong. I am 21 years old. I take two antacids and that makes my stomach lightly relieved. My mother said the men may think I am a ****. I am too afraid to sit down. I am too afraid to walk out of the door. At this moment, I sing to myself and play my instruments in my own foreign language and own melodies. This calms me down for the briefest moment in time. Please, somebody help me and tell me what to do when you feel these things from inside. My body seeps with dread and shame. I think taking another benzodiazapine would not be a good idea. It might even make this worse. Thank you for listening to my strange talking, that I write of desperation this morning. Please, if you can, tell me something to do.