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Hello all

I had two triumphs today!!

I do modelling and my own organised portfolio shoots dont make me anxious, Its one of the few situations where Im not anxious. However I am anxious of my agency and anything remotely professional. I dont often get sent to castings but I was sent to one today. I went, I was all geared up to go and then I suddenly didnt want to go. Then I did eventually, I could hear stuff going on in the casting room and I started to get anxious.
I went in and it was this woman who is in charge of loads of big events in my area and I was like "oh my god" and got worse.
She asked me to do my catwalk and I did it, my legs were shaking really badly I thought I was going to collapse!
But I did it! And I wasnt criticised! I cant be in the show anyway because I am on placement during they day and they need you for fittings and rehearsals and stuff.

I was shaking for ages after and Im all sore from being so tense, but Im glad I went. I also took new pics to my agency and I stopped half way there and though "theres no way they will use these pics, theyll laugh at them" but I went and theyve put them up on the site already!

So thats a lesson learned for me :)

Also I finally managed to go to the doctor and Ive been put on Citalopram so hopefully this is the start of things getting better!

x x x x
 

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That's awesome macM. Its the best when you're all anxious about doing something, but you do it anyway and it turns out great. Good job. :)
 
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