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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I've lost the ability to get a life outside of my work.

I'm currently interning at a nonprofit four days a week, and I'm totally fine there. I can get along with people, deal with office politics, and even do my work okay. But my social frustrations and anxiety fully kick in on the weekends and floor me down.

I've lost touch with all my old friends from this area and am too freaked out to try re-establishing contact. I have no damn idea how to meet new people (scared of going to bars, anxious to talk to strangers longer than a few minutes, no idea how to maintain contact and build relationships). I've tried the meetup site, but can't find any groups with people my age with my similar interests (rational debate, funny and casual discussion). I'm extremely single, still a virgin, and see no ways to change this as nice as that would be.

So, I'm basically happy and content on workdays, and miserable + feel isolated on the weekends. No idea what the hell to do. Any relate to this? Have advice for solutions they found? Want to do a random dance?
 

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You sound like me. When I first started my job people would ask how my weekend was and I'd just say 'oh pretty quiet just did stuff around the house'. Every Monday I dreaded that question and sometimes I lied and said I went out with friends, but mostly I said 'nothing much'. I soon stopped asking how their weekend was in return and now after 5 years no one asks me about my weekends anymore. I believe they could tell I hated being asked and knew I would say my usual answer 'nothing much'.

If you really want a social life, you're going to have to find the courage to make an effort. I think the best thing you can do is get a hobby. Join a club or take a class where you'll meet people who share your interest. I've recently taken up an acting class. Although I'm not yet comfortable in opening up to other students and forming friendships, it has done wonders in boosting my confidence and my attitude to life.
 

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Are any of the people you work with in the same age range as you, or otherwise potential friends? You could become friends with some of them, and then hang out on the weekends. Getting a hobby is also a good idea. Are you facebook friends with any of your old friends? Re-establishing contact with them could be a good idea, if they still live in the area.
 

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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
Chrissie4 - I am trying to make an effort, I just have no idea where I can focus that effort, especially for finding people my own age. Especially since my biggest hobbies are either things no one likes or are generally solitary things (writing, talking politics/philosophy, reading, drawing, coding). The acting class does sound pretty fun, though, although I'm not sure if I'd be able to find one too close to home. Any advice on finding one or classes like it (especially free ones, short on cash)?

Morpheus - All of them are around my age (in college or just graduated), I just always have a hard time talking or communicating with them outside of work. Especially since I haven't really opened up to many on a personal level yet. Plus I've tried re-establishing contact before with my friends around here, no one really got back to me about meeting up (some just ignored me). I've got plenty of hobbies, just clueless about finding groups of people at least close to my age that share them (see above). I've been searching on Meetup.com, had no luck.
 
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