[contranigma]

I am living with my parents for the summer. My dad has a habit of finding any and everything that I don't want him to. Last night, I was going to bed and I looked in a drawer where I have medicines. It's for college and so I didn't unpack it and thought he wouldn't look there, because it doesn't need to be unpacked and will go back to school with me....WELL......there was a certain drug in there that I wouldn't have wanted him to find and it has disappeared. He obviously took it and said nothing about it. That blew my mind. I don't know what he did with it or if he even knows what it was. I'm not sure if I should ask him where it is. I really want to, but that could provoke an awful discussion, whereas if I don't say anything, we may never talk about and I'm just out a certain amount of money. I don't know what to do!!!!!! I should probably keep my mouth shut, but I don't know if I can. It is a pride issue with me, because he always goes through my private things and had NO RIGHT!

 

[money]

If you really think he took it you should ask him. Even if it's something you wouldn't really like him to know, I'm going to guess (I don't know what your father's like) that he won't hate you for it or anything like that. He's your father. What could really happen?

 

[Aleforge]

Whoa, that's not right at all? What medication was it? I know how hard it is to stand up to people but there are lines. You can't just go and take someones medication from them!

 

[contranigma]

It wasn't medication. And it's something that my father will hate me for. That's why I hate him, his love comes and goes. Like he only loves me if I make him look good. Going to college, getting good grades, looking good, etc. Doing drugs, or if I got a tattoo or piercing he'd flip and right away @#$%ing despise me. He's got a terrible temper, but I can't get mad back at him or else he just gets madder. That is the stuff that I want to avoid.

 

[Canadian Brotha]

My thoughts are that he likely knows whatever it is & that's why he took it, if not he likely had enough time to find out. If you want it back just ask, you likely know that worst end outcome already

 

[Post_Punk_Proclivity]

That is sucky. My dad is this way too, although if i asked him, he would likely have an aggressive response as if i had no rights or something.

In relation to your title, if you're talking about dude's that think with their special regions, then this is a very good postion to be in, LOL

 

[RockNRoll Dream]

You're right - he has no right to take your stuff. I agree with Canadian Brotha - you already know what the worst-case scenario is going to be if you approach him about it. In fact, the scenario as you've imagined it may well be worse than the reality! My Dad is exactly how your Dad sounds, so I've faced situations like this myself.

Ask him where it is, and you will probably find out exactly why he took it in the first place. That's when you'll have your opportunity to draw and reinforce the line, so to speak - and he'll respect you more for it.

 

[SourD]

That would make me so mad. My mom is always coming into my room and looking through my drawers and closet looking for stuff. All that did was teach me to hide my stuff better. Usually somewhere outside of my room, like in the garage or in my brothers room. Hell, even hiding in your parents room does the trick as long as it's somewhere they'd never look. like under their dresser. Lol.

I agree with those who say he has no right to go through your stuff.. You're not a kid anymore. Is this something that you could imagine him not confronting you about? If so, if you're sure you didn't just misplace it or something, I think you should ask him and maybe talk with him a little about going through your stuff. That's just not right. Why do parents think it's ok? I don't understand :no Good luck

 

[PickleNose]

I'm guessing that it was pot or something? If so, he probably took it because he figured that would be an easy way to get you to talk to him about it without him having to bring the subject up himself.

The other part of this is that you're right. Other people don't have a right to go through your things but the simple reality is that if you make it easy for them, they will anyway. If you have stuff you don't want people to find, you have to hide it, regardless of whether or not you feel they have a right to snoop. It's unfortunate but that's just how it is with most people.

 

[Moon Fire]

Um, this may sound harsh but when it comes down to it he IS your dad. No one has the right to go through your things but these are your parents. Some may not agree with me but I think it's why your dad looked. Btw it was risky bringing illegal drugs into your dad's house. How old are you?

 

[andy1984]

To be fair... If you knew he would react negatively if he found this, and that he looks through your stuff then... you took the risk by bringing it to your parents house. Theres not really anything you can do.

 

[SourD]

So he brought the assumed-illegal substance into his parents house, which wasn't the most thoughtful thing to do. But he's a grown *** boy, why are his parents snooping his room in the first place? It's called common curtesy. If he had given them a reason to worry then fine, but if not then it's just inconsiderate nosey insanity. Crossing the line if you ask me.

 

[PickleNose]

why are his parents snooping his room in the first place?

People are nosy. It's pretty much that simple. Parents are especially nosy. They usually are only trying to be (what in their minds are) good parents.

I think the point is that snooping in someone's stuff is a betrayal. We have so little privacy left in our lives that every little bit of it is precious.

 

[contranigma]

here's what happened, in case anyone's wondering....

I said, "you know in my drawer with medicines there was a bag, did you do something with it?"

and he was like, "a bag?!" "what was it in?" and then again "what was in it?"

me: "mushrooms"
him: "is that what that was? there was a bag with some moldy looking stuff in it, it had green stuff on it (It didn't really, but I can see how he thought that), so I threw it way, I didn't know what it was." "Do you use it for cooking?"
me: "well it's from the agriculture club...I guess you could cook with it."
him: "they use that in the Chinese restaurants"

I hurried out of there to get the mail, and was so happy that he isn't familiar with that type of thing.

 

[nothing to fear]

haha, thats pretty funny. good to hear tho

 

[AriesTrying]

haha... thats a great story...

its funy because it's also a good little highlight of how SA works too. i do it all the time - assume you know the motivations/feelings of a person based on something tiny or imagined and then react based on false/assumed/non-existent evidence

anyhoo - glad it worked out okay for you

 

[shyvr6]

I would suggest getting something with a lock on it so you can put your stuff that you don't want to be seen in it.