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abducted by aliens
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20 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm seeing this guy.. He's ok I guess. Biggest problem I have with him is he is an absolute alcoholic.. I don't drink not even a little. But every time we hang out he always asks if I want to go play drinking games with his friends.. 1. No I don't want to enter into your social group when I don't even have a social group of my own. 2. How many times do you ask me if I want to drink and I say NO but that doesn't deter him.. He is like one of the bad kids in school trying to peer pressure you into doing something really stupid... I honestly want to tell him to leave me alone most of the time but I don't want to bring about a confrontation. We've been hanging out long enough for him to see that I am pretty much a complete loner with the exception of my best friend of 12 years that lives 4 houses up the road.. I don't really know why I wanted to post this but I don't really have anyone else to talk to about it. I guess it probably doesn't even make sense anyways and I am being a complete whiner. But overall I've never really felt like hurting someone and every time he comes around I want to instantly take whatever is in my hand and throw it at him. I don't really think I was looking for a response in my writing this so please don't be upset that I have taken the space to basically just rant.
 

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Very Quiet
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2,934 Posts
I think he needs to grow up alittle. He should be spending his time with you and alone mostly, especially since he knows how you are. Drinking games, come on man..Unfortunately if he's a big drinker or alcholic as you say, it will eat you alive and you will despise him everytime he picks up a drink. Its almost becomes a point where you are going to take his drinking personally. I say talk to him about wanting to grow up alittle. If he's an alcholic I'm gonna say run, even though it doesn't sound nice.
 

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Take Good Care
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7,902 Posts
You do not want to get into that. I'm sorry, just...it's too much trouble. If they're immature and don't really see the problem, or at least don't want to do anything about it, you can't make yourself responsible for that mess. I've been somewhere similar. Especially if you're feeling pressured, sooner or later you'll just get dragged down into it too, not necessarily the drinking, just everything that goes along with it. It's just not a good thing to get into.
 

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La Vie En Rose
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1,673 Posts
I can't really tell from your post if he actually has a drinking problem. I mean I think it's perfectly normal to occasionally socially drink or play drinking games (some of them are fun like flip cup) but I too would not like it if my partner were to drink on a regular basis. I also can't tell if he's not actually pressuring you but just trying to invite you, to get you out more? Perhaps he does realize you don't have many friends, and thought you'd like to make some more friends, especially people that are important to him. If that is the case, I think it's fair game to occasionally compromise and try to get to know them, though you don't need to drink if you're uncomfortable with drinking - that's understandable.

If he really is an alcoholic, or his lifestyle is something that really bothers you that much, I think it wouldn't be good to continue the relationship as it'll cause tension and resentment to build up. Also, if he does frequently pressure you then yes, he's not being respectful and perhaps his partying days aren't over and you should find someone whose matured and grown out of that stage of life.
 

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totally destroying it
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4,484 Posts
You don't drink, he does. It's unfair that you're judging him for doing something that he likes, but you don't. Do you think it'd be cool if he were going around saying you were "ok I guess because she's kinda lame and doesn't drink nor have fun"? No, it wouldn't, so let him do whatever he likes and if you can't put up with, well, it's best to be alone than with bad company.
 
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