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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
So Ive been talking to a friend via AIM for about a year now. She lives in my area, yet we've never met in person. I blame myself mostly because I am too hesitant, and afraid. Its the SA kicking in, the second guessing all the 'what ifs', etc.

Basically I think I am overly concerned that I will be nervous and won't know what to say or do. I'd like to talk with her when we meet, instead of going to go see a movie or something, though I'm afraid that I will just clam up and not know what to say.

Any suggestions on how to handle this... or what we could do when we meet? :afr

Thanks everyone
 

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Well first off make sure its a public place that you meet at and always let a friend or family member know who/where you'll be meeting. Take your phone with you etc etc...

Umm you can always talk after a movie or before a movie. Thats what I did in a recent meetup as I didin't feel confident I could carry a convo for the whole meeting.
 

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The most overrated, yet understood advice is to simply 'be yourself'.
If you try to put up a front, eventually you will get caught out. Acting in some socially accepted way (that isn't you being genuine) won't work, as you will be being inauthentic.
You really do have to just be genuine, show her your uniqueness as a human being, be honest, she will appreciate you so much more than the majority of chode guys who just act in a way to try to please her.
 

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if you want to meet, you must! it sucks only knowing someone online!

I've met at least 10 people from online in the last year...most all for a first date, and never seen them again..I know the feeling, movies are awful, cause you can't talk at all...try bowling, ice skating, a state fair, a concert, a Church service; I"d say avoid going out to eat or for drinks, cause there is increased pressure to talk there, and it will be YOU entertaining her with your conversation; go somewhere with more distractions, and conversational starters like a mall or concert...
 

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Are you trying to just be friends or are you trying to turn it into a relationship? As far as meeting, I would say to try to break the ice and touch barrier as soon as possible. That will help both of your nerves a little and get you a little more comfortable. And try to remember that you been talking for a year so you're not a complete stranger to her so bring up stuff you both have in common which are easy going topics to get things started.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Thanks for the suggestions

I am going to meet her tomorrow for lunch, then go to the mall and just go shopping. I really hope that I don't scare her off during lunch, since that is just going to make everything afterwards too awkward. I will try to keep in mind that we have been talking for a year already. I never put up a show online, and im too easy to figure out if I try IRL.

I thought about taking her ice skating since its one of my favorite hobbies, but she seemed very iffy about the idea because she has never done it before and is scared to death of falling. I thought about convincing her, but then changed my mind because I probably wouldn't be able to forgive myself if something bad actually did happen. My 2nd time ice skating I literally faceplanted and my lip was about the size of my cheek for two weeks :no
 
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