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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi there,

Let me give you quick backstory. As a child, giving speeches did a number on me. I would start shaking uncontrollably, kids would laugh, more than once I ran around of the room. I was a kid. This stuff stays with you, as a you know.

Tomorrow is the last day of a long time job. Over 200 people will be surprising me with a party (yes, surprising. I'm not supposed to know about it). I am expected to give a speech.

My extreme fear is two fold:

1) I won't be able to control my physical symptoms. I'll start shaking uncontrollable (I'm not joking, think tremor) and the awkwardness that that entrails..do I need to tell you? I will want to collapse dying.

2) Freezing up, not knowing what to say.

So here's my plan.

First off...I'm going to make a short speech. It's all I can do. Short and sweet. I'm spending all night practicting it and will cement it in my head.

Again. The extreme pyshical systoms is my primary concern. I have a prescription to propranolol. I take 10 mg in the morning, 10 at night. Does basically nothing. My doctor once said I can go up to 80 mg. Because my anxiety is off the charts even now, I'm thinking of considerably upping it for tomorrow only. Instead of 20, maybe taking 60. I'm desperate, people.

Second, Xanax. Xanax is my lifesaver. Though in taking in dosages of higher than 2mpg, it puts me to sleep. I don't care. Though I am used to about 1.5, I'm thinking of upping it tomorrow to maybe as much as 4.

I know this all sounds nuts. Or maybe not? I just have no words to explain to you how terrified I am. This is the scariest thing in the world to me. And my success rate at public speaking is absolutely dismal. Remember, I ran from the room crying once!

So, yes, I'm desperate. Please enlighten me, help me, guide me. Anything. I would be so grateful. I can tell you I will get no sleep tonight. I can't stop picturing me bombing it..shaking, making everyone uncomfortable, freezing and not kinowing what to say.

UGGGH! Thank you, friends, for any input/advice. It means everything to my tormented mind tonight.

Cheers.
 

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I would say go ahead and up the propanolol, shouldn't be a problem and besides your doctor actually gave you the okay so I don't see a reason not too. Or just the use the Xanax at whatever dose will get rid of physical symptoms without making you too sleepy/out of it to remember anything?

As a last resort, as bad as this might sound and I'll probably get a bad rep for it.. maybe alcohol just this one time (a SMALL amount, just to take the edge off) wouldn't be the end of the world? Considering it's the last day of the job anyways and it's not like you'll need to keep self-medicating. But idk

And just try to keep in mind this perspective: that most people, even ones who are extremely sociable one-on-one and in smaller groups of people they dont know, get very anxious from speeches. It's not uncommon at all and I guarantee almost everyone could relate.. plus I know personally I can tend to over-estimate how critical people will be of me in a situation like that, if you can tell yourself that even if you were to do a sh*tty job everything would turn out cool then it will lessen you worries alot, at least trying to get some sleep. (not saying that you shouldn't use medications if your anxiety is thru the roof!! just some potentially useful psychological strategies to ease the tension a little.. also if you write the short speech down somewhere only visible to you during the "presentation" it will alleviate your worry about forgetting it since you'll have the whole thing on hand)

I only managed to get thru my Speech class in high school by using the next day hangover of sedating antihistamines and/or Phenibut haha, but I turned out okay ;) (pre-Nardil)
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
I would say go ahead and up the propanolol, shouldn't be a problem and besides your doctor actually gave you the okay so I don't see a reason not too. Or just the use the Xanax at whatever dose will get rid of physical symptoms without making you too sleepy/out of it to remember anything?

As a last resort, as bad as this might sound and I'll probably get a bad rep for it.. maybe alcohol just this one time (a SMALL amount, just to take the edge off) wouldn't be the end of the world? Considering it's the last day of the job anyways and it's not like you'll need to keep self-medicating. But idk

And just try to keep in mind this perspective: that most people, even ones who are extremely sociable one-on-one and in smaller groups of people they dont know, get very anxious from speeches. It's not uncommon at all and I guarantee almost everyone could relate.. plus I know personally I can tend to over-estimate how critical people will be of me in a situation like that, if you can tell yourself that even if you were to do a sh*tty job everything would turn out cool then it will lessen you worries alot, at least trying to get some sleep. (not saying that you shouldn't use medications if your anxiety is thru the roof!! just some potentially useful psychological strategies to ease the tension a little.. also if you write the short speech down somewhere only visible to you during the "presentation" it will alleviate your worry about forgetting it since you'll have the whole thing on hand)

I only managed to get thru my Speech class in high school by using the next day hangover of sedating antihistamines and/or Phenibut haha, but I turned out okay ;) (pre-Nardil)
You are a lifesaver. Thank you so much! I agree with you about the alcohol. I know a friend, a lawyer, that got through law school by drinking a small amount before every single speech/presentation she had to give. It's not ideal but living with social anxiety is also no picnic.

And thanks for the insight on how others view you. That was actually ver comforting. I tend to forget that. I know when I watch others suffer uncomfortably giving presentations, my heart just goes out to them.

I'll also trying writing down what I'm going to say.

So much good advice and, again, I thank you so much. :)
 
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