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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Haven't read a case like mine, I don't know if it's somewhat unique.

Anyway, I'm 19 and I'm with the military in Okinawa right now. I've had 'social anxiety' all my life. I've been told I'm good looking but I never know what kind of move to make when I'm with women. As a result I never even got laid in HS, though all my friends were convinced I had...many times. And I played along. I actually didn't get laid until I was deployed to Thailand (I was 18). I didn't pay for any hookers but I DID find some...promiscuous...women over there.
Weird part is that outwardly I seem extremely confident, and outgoing. I was VERY popular in high school and was friends with everyone, and that carries over into my present life. I don't think no one knows the torturous self-confidence that I hide so well. I'm always wondering what others think of me and still cannot talk well to women. I imagine part of the problem is the extremely unfavorable ratio of men to women here so it's all the more difficult to curry favor. I don't know what to think of myself. I have an 'ego' in my head of what I think (hope) others think of me and I try to live up to it. I'll just look in the mirror all the time and think how disgusting I look, how fat I look, and how much I hate my appearance, etc.

Is there anyone else like this, who outwardly plays the role of a fun, confident guy but really is extremely self-conscious? I can't seem to find anyone like me. Self-consciousness is always linked with 'shyness' but I DEFINITELY would not consider myself shy...

It's sad. It's got me so depressed. Any tips?
 

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Hey natevines :wels
 

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Vann of the Dawn
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I think I understand what you are talking about. These friends that you had at school, these "everybody." How often did you spend time with them outside of school. I know that I was seen as a very outgoing funny guy in high school too. I could always get along with everyone and call them friends. But when we got out for the day, I went home when everyone else was going to the mall together.

BTW, welcome!
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
I think I understand what you are talking about. These friends that you had at school, these "everybody." How often did you spend time with them outside of school. I know that I was seen as a very outgoing funny guy in high school too. I could always get along with everyone and call them friends. But when we got out for the day, I went home when everyone else was going to the mall together.

BTW, welcome!
Yep, that's exactly what it is!

Part of it was because I didn't get invited a lot because I wasn't close enough (at least that was my perception), but I'd imagine more importantly I didn't go out of my way to get invited, and when I did I never wanted to go out.
It's the same right now. I want to go out on friday/saturday nights, but when I do I want to go back to my 'comfort zone'. But when I'm here, in my room, I get all depressed thinking about all the things I could be doing out. But it seems like each time I DO force myself to go out, it just reinforces my fear that I won't have a good time, because I never seem to.
 

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Vann of the Dawn
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Yes, that's a familiar feeling. We sit around wondering why we aren't out. Then, when we finally get an opportunity, the last thing we want to do is leave home. It's a terrible cycle and another way SAD alters our lives.
 

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Welcome, NateVines! :)
 
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