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One of my grandmothers was cool, she raised me, but sadly she passed away when I was in my early teens. The other one, I rarely see, but she's a real manipulative b*tch. She always says belittling things, but she always makes it appear as she's a victim and you're the bad guy. She once said to my mom that my father's ex wife was more attractive than her, a better person, etc. She says those things without being provoked in any way. She gives off the vibe she prefers my half-brother from my father's first marriage. She's a know-it-all type of person and I'm really fed up with her anticks.

Now she's sick, but I avoid going to see her (I went only once or twice this year), because she makes it appear as it's my fault that she went outside on the hot dry summer and fell and broke her leg. She's a real primadonna and likes being pampered. She claims being very ill, but her resutls are fantastic (for her age) --- her doctor said she's a lot healthier than him and he's a lot younger than her.

Now she wants money out from my mother, yet they (she and the relatives from my father's side) never give money to us when we need them. They're so manipulative and evil, I am starting to feel hatred toward them. She made one of her friends call recently, beginning yet more money from my mother and father. Yet, my father didn't give any money when my other grandma was sick. He didn't do anything.

Does any of you have similar difficult relatives? How to cope?
 

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Nobody believes me when I say my grandmother is evil, but its true. My grandma also fakes illness all the time for attention..narcissistic I won't get in to all of the stories I could tell, you'd be reading all night. I've learned just to accept the way she is, I refuse to let what she says or does bother me. I know how she is, I know that she is going to be mean and selfish everytime I see her so I just don't listen. I'll go see her because she's family but I will not go out of my way to be troubled by her.
 

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My paternal grandmother was very controlling and manipulative. Any time I visited her it was out of obligation. She was very judgmental. She liked to think she was the young (she had my dad at 17) cool grandmother but she had very backward thinking. She would make me and my female cousins go in the kitchen to help clean up after dinner but my older brother was allowed to go sit on the couch with my dad and grandfather. She was good at making me feel guilty if I didn't do things her way.

Her parents were divorced. She divorced my dad's dad when he was 3, remarried, divorced that guy (who abused my dad) when my dad was a teenager, remarried again when I was 2 (to a man I always considered a grandfather), then after he passed away, she had a commitment ceremony with another man. I think she was afraid to be alone. She had a stroke and passed away in 2004. It was a relief to know I wouldn't have to put up with her controlling ways. My dad has two half sisters, the youngest passed away a couple years ago. She's always had mental/emotional problems. No one talks about anything on that side of the family. They're just effed up. My parents divorced when I was 15. I'm hoping to break the cycle and stay married.

Total opposite of her were my maternal grandparents. I enjoyed visiting them. Always lots of love in their house. Hugs and cookies, not guilt. They were married almost 70 years (Valentine's Day '12 would've been 70 years). Been 3.5 months since my grandfather passed away and I miss him.
 

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Some of the older people I see in my job, have the most challenging personalities. This one lady in her 80s faked a symptom to get to the hospital and then because she did not want to speak with certain people, she did the smart thing of playing dead. Of course, she didn't realize she was hooked up to monitors measuring her vitals, all of which were stable. Besides, nurses and doctors know enough to tell if a person is alive. Sometime later this patient wakes up because she is hungry and wants a sandwich. There's more to the craziness than this incident.
 

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One of my grandmothers was cool, she raised me, but sadly she passed away when I was in my early teens. The other one, I rarely see, but she's a real manipulative b*tch. She always says belittling things, but she always makes it appear as she's a victim and you're the bad guy. She once said to my mom that my father's ex wife was more attractive than her, a better person, etc. She says those things without being provoked in any way. She gives off the vibe she prefers my half-brother from my father's first marriage. She's a know-it-all type of person and I'm really fed up with her anticks.

Now she's sick, but I avoid going to see her (I went only once or twice this year), because she makes it appear as it's my fault that she went outside on the hot dry summer and fell and broke her leg. She's a real primadonna and likes being pampered. She claims being very ill, but her resutls are fantastic (for her age) --- her doctor said she's a lot healthier than him and he's a lot younger than her.

Now she wants money out from my mother, yet they (she and the relatives from my father's side) never give money to us when we need them. They're so manipulative and evil, I am starting to feel hatred toward them. She made one of her friends call recently, beginning yet more money from my mother and father. Yet, my father didn't give any money when my other grandma was sick. He didn't do anything.

Does any of you have similar difficult relatives? How to cope?
Your grandmother sounds like a real charm. I"m familiar with toxic family and the only way for me was to severe contact as hard as that is, staying in contact with them to suck your soul dry is more devastating, cause they will toss you aside without flinching.once they get all they can get out of you.
I"m sorry you are in this situation it is .like ongoing complicated trauma and is a recognized problem.
 

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Demons are Real

Your grandmother sounds like a real charm. I"m familiar with toxic family and the only way for me was to severe contact as hard as that is, staying in contact with them to suck your soul dry is more devastating, cause they will toss you aside without flinching.once they get all they can get out of you.
I"m sorry you are in this situation it is .like ongoing complicated trauma and is a recognized problem.
I agree severance is the only effective coping mechanism; though some particularly savage "grandmothers" such as mine do not want to let you go...

I helped my grandparents for 10 years so I could afford to go to undergraduate and law school; when taking my bar exam my grandfather fell ill with back fractures and asked me to take over his bills and mortgage refinance--while I studied for my exam--I did so, despite not knowing anything about how to manage a house. I had to study 18 hours (with literally only lunch and shi* breaks) for 4 weeks, but by some miracle I passed.

Later I had difficulty finding a job because my grandfather's health deteriorated and they refused to hire help (Oh, by the way these people have millions of dollars so they of course couldn't "afford" it because they might have to sell their 3.5 million dollar house) So I give him showers daily (so he won't fall) until he recovers (about a year). Then because my grandmother won't stop calling me I am forced to start my own practice.

I'm actually doing ok when one morning I wake up to discover my grandfather confused and unable to move--he had suffered a stroke... 3 months of hell ensue in which I have to hang up my practice because none of their other wonderful spawns will assist (including my excellent father who abandoned me at age 3 and never sent me so much as a holiday card--ever, none).

I assist with this graphic macabre circus--she has a screaming fit and insists he die in the living room, even the hospital staff loathed this woman--and am abandoned by thier brood at his hour of death. I close the eyes on his corpse and then I am expected to live in the home--the 100 year old home in which a man just died...

Naturally my future wife and I start hearing noises, a knocking once, the continuance of a door in my bathroom which closes loudly on its own often (actually nearly daily) and this person, the "grandmother" starts seeing shi* my grandfather, other dead people etc.

She comes in my room to smell me; yes I said smell me; because "I smell like her dead husband." Then one morning I wake up to get water and go down stairs. And she's just there, staring at me blankly, (as I write this my blood chills even now) and I scream, out of surprise "Jesus f*ing Christ!" To which she says, nothing at all... After an uncomfortably long silence says, "You... you don't like us, do you?" I some how am able to respond calmly, and I say "What do you mean grandma? Of course I like you. What do you mean by us?" To which she replies, "Grandpa and I, you don't like us..."

Now I know what any of you health professionals might be thinking, sounds like dementia right? Yeah I kind of agree as well, so because of the foregoing and her repeated suicide threats (and a litany of memory failures) I suggest she see her family doctor and ask her eldest to help me, for once, for the love of God! And she does..... Except, her other daughter cons me into believing she wants to help...

Well you can imagine that living in a haunted mansion with a severe dementia riddled woman (with of course a personality to match the ones above in the other posts) is not ideal for preventing stress and promoting good judgement... And naturally the other daughter who is going bankrupt takes my weakness as opportunity and riles up her mother, telling her I'm after her money, etc.

Naturally, I mean of course this makes sense, I get a call from her estate attorney telling me to cease and desist helping this woman... I'm thrilled since I had literally been working on getting "grandmother" to her accountant and an asset manager for months so I could attempt a graceful exit... I am evicted from my home over night without cause (I forgot to mention I was to be married the next week) and stay with my wife and her mother...

So the wedding's ruined and I'm receiving letters from an attorney, but "grandmommy" isn't done yet... She tells me if I don't come home that instant she's going to throw out all my clothes and everything I own. I'm not a wealthy man so I have to force myself, along with my neutral aunt, to walk the gauntlet and retrieve my items--which she has taken the courtesy of throwing into the front yard in black plastic trash bags. But, you know, as you do, my vicious bipolar aunt has to get 6 inches from my face the entire time and scream about how horrible I am and that I shouldn't marry my wife because she's Mexican... So that's done and I think maybe she'll leave me alone, but no...

After several months of attorney letters and ridiculous demands she's now making up some demented (pun intended) story that I stole 90K by opening credit cards in my dead grandfather's name--and then bought CocaCola stock with the money and put in a Schwab account she for some ingenious reason has access to--No proof of course has been submitted in the past three months, but she claims to be filing fraud charges against me...

I'm not trying to compete with anyone, I just would never expect anyone to have such an inhumanly black heart who supposedly is a "grandmother"

I don't really know what to do at this point. I keep ignoring her, not fighting with her and she keeps on coming like she's possessed by an evil force... Luckily I happen to have all the bank records on a disk and will go through them for my defense if necessary....

I know that anyone who actually read all this is likely to say "that was dumb" or "why did you help them in the first place?" And I guess that I just felt (largely because I heard daily I was "ungrateful" anytime I disagreed with them, or that I was "nothing but trailer trash") that I wanted to demonstrate my gratitude for their providing me with a place to live during school and they begged me not to "leave them" when I told them there were no jobs in my city....

I would never advocate helping any elder without adequate protection, they can become vile creatures bloodlusting for your existential extirpation if you fail to live up to their expectations of indentured servitude...

Wish me Luck! :D
 

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My Grandma's a *****

One of my grandmothers was cool, she raised me, but sadly she passed away when I was in my early teens. The other one, I rarely see, but she's a real manipulative b*tch. She always says belittling things, but she always makes it appear as she's a victim and you're the bad guy. She once said to my mom that my father's ex wife was more attractive than her, a better person, etc. She says those things without being provoked in any way. She gives off the vibe she prefers my half-brother from my father's first marriage. She's a know-it-all type of person and I'm really fed up with her anticks.

Now she's sick, but I avoid going to see her (I went only once or twice this year), because she makes it appear as it's my fault that she went outside on the hot dry summer and fell and broke her leg. She's a real primadonna and likes being pampered. She claims being very ill, but her resutls are fantastic (for her age) --- her doctor said she's a lot healthier than him and he's a lot younger than her.

Now she wants money out from my mother, yet they (she and the relatives from my father's side) never give money to us when we need them. They're so manipulative and evil, I am starting to feel hatred toward them. She made one of her friends call recently, beginning yet more money from my mother and father. Yet, my father didn't give any money when my other grandma was sick. He didn't do anything.

Does any of you have similar difficult relatives? How to cope?
Omg this is the story of MY LIFE!! I have to deal with the same EXACT type of grandmother! I hate that woman with everything within me. She treats me like a piece of **** in front of her friends and the other members of my family. I don't think she loves me at all. She favors my half-brothers from my father's previous marriage over me. She favors all of my cousins over me. She wishes I wasn't her granddaughter. She is a very sickly woman, and every time she is in the hospital, I say "Hahahaha, karma's a real ***** ain't it?" My grandmother called me a ***** when I was 7 years old. She physically "assaulted" me last night (Thanksgiving Night) in front of her friends. She loves to show off in front of her friends and family. She made me look like **** in front of her friends and family last night. I don't think I've ever cried so hard in my life. She did all of this because of something really petty. She and I literally verbally fought with each other at one point. She is the most evil old woman I have ever met in my life. Gomez Addams's (from the Addams Family) mother is a WITCH, and she's not as evil as my grandmother.
 
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