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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I think about dealing with my shyness on a perennial basis, and one road block that always comes up is the transition from being shy to talkative within my own family. Am I the only one who is worried about that whole transformation process? For example, if I picture myself at my family's Christmas party this year being one of the people cracking jokes the whole time, I also picture pretty much everyone in my family going "woa, so this guy knows how to talk?" It's also just a weird thought in general, picturing myself as being one of the talkative people in my family. I feel like it would just set the whole universe off balance or something.

Has anyone ever successfully broken through the shy label within their own family? Do you have any advice for what to expect and how to deal with it so that your own family doesn't unwittingly push you back into to the confines of SA out of the embarrassment of their shockful reactions?
 

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I have a simmilar problem with my family sometimes I think. Not that they're shocked, but they are all so talkative themselves it can be a battle to try and get a word in even without anxiety. I've been working on realizing and remembering that they don't have to define me.
 

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My cousin did. He was so quiet within the family. My extended family on that side is 30-40 people and they get pretty rowdy, he was always the quietest one there by a long shot. Then one Christmas a couple years ago its like a switch flipped. Now he's one of the biggest characters there, always telling jokes and generally being ridiculous. People were surprised at first... but in a good way.
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
My cousin did. He was so quiet within the family. My extended family on that side is 30-40 people and they get pretty rowdy, he was always the quietest one there by a long shot. Then one Christmas a couple years ago its like a switch flipped. Now he's one of the biggest characters there, always telling jokes and generally being ridiculous. People were surprised at first... but in a good way.
Haha cool, well good for your cousin! It's good to hear that your family was shocked in a "good way." I feel like it's unfair for me to assume that my family would tease me back into my SA position, but I guess these unfair assumptions are what got me here in the first place :/
 

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I know exactly what you're talking about. Perhaps we come from similar families - mine is very negative and they never change. So, if they see unexpected behavior, then they must point it out and ridicule it.

Nothing but determination and a thick skin gets me through it. I've tried telling them to STFU, but then they just think of a clever (not!) response to that. The old adage is true - "the only person you can change is yourself", so forget about them and get on with your growth!!
 
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