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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Am looking for any how to maintain relationships, advise,suggestion,opinion whatever for the title and below.

Back in highschool i have this friend of mine , i dont really remember how we became friends , im guessing it was her who approached mee , we became good friends , back then i did have feelings for her but i never did say it to her since i was very naive and very antisocial i guess lol :p , 3years past we go into our own seperate ways because she cutted me off after highschool coz of her boyfriends jealousy /paranoia i guess . about another 3 years , she added me on facebook , we chatted , got back for old time sake and she explained why she cut off a lot of her male friends which made me a little sad/mad as she kept her other friends in touch but i got over it a long time already. She even asked me if i liked her back then , so i did tell her. 7months fastforward we talked , chat , we both shared personal things , sent her letter , gift since she was faraway abroad in the states already , i got to know her alot better. 3months on wards things started to drift away i guess , conversations short , we dont talk much anymore and she seemed uninterested yadayada etc etc , things go downhill with us. which is understandable considering its very hard to keep things interesting with the distance as she is abroad. Now we havent talked in about 2-3months , :no

I dont want this to drift again , i barely know anyone as interesting as her i feel like jm gonna lose someone very important and uniquely likable to my taste/good circle. Problem is i dont know how to get back with her , i dont know what to say , and what to do to maintain being friends with her , should i just cut it off? Im not gonna lie i love her but it might really never workout. I am socially near zero experience so any opinions might help :blank
 

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Some people are better at (and more interested in) maintaining friendships over a distance than others, and inevitably there will be periods of distance as they focus on the physical world around them. You don't have to cut her off, but being close all the time with someone far away who doesn't seem that into distance friendships isn't a realistic expectation.

It would be better to try to cultivate other friendships (with people you're not in love with).
 

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Carpe Diem
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I would say to keep staying in touch with if you can but if she seems uninterested, you should let it go. Some friendships aren't meant to last very long and you can't force it.
 

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I'm bad at maintaining long distance friendships also I've come to learn in my old age that it's pretty hard to be friends with someone you have those kind of feelings for. Friendships work better when adoration/affection is at mutual levels. There's less hurt, less anxiety about making contact etc.

That said I'm not saying cut her off but if things drift naturally , know that thats sadly a fact of life. As much as you think she's the awesomest person out there, You'll meet others who wow you, even if its a long time from now.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I would say to keep staying in touch with if you can but if she seems uninterested, you should let it go. Some friendships aren't meant to last very long and you can't force it.
It would be better to try to cultivate other friendships (with people you're not in love with).
I'm bad at maintaining long distance friendships also I've come to learn in my old age that it's pretty hard to be friends with someone you have those kind of feelings for. Friendships work better when adoration/affection is at mutual levels. There's less hurt, less anxiety about making contact etc.

That said I'm not saying cut her off but if things drift naturally , know that thats sadly a fact of life. As much as you think she's the awesomest person out there, You'll meet others who wow you, even if its a long time from now.
i see little sad but i guess its time to just forget and let it slide off :) , thanks for the advice probably gave me a bit of closure.
 

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Just make sure you keep talking to them, that will be enough to keep a connection and maintain it. Arranging to meet up every so often and/or doing something together couldn't hurt
 
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