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Hi CrashMedicate. :)

I understand what you're going through - I've been there many times. :roll I find that the more I plan these things, the less likely I am to actually say anything. It's as if you create a huge wall of stress which stands between you and the other person and it's almost impossible to break through it. I used to be like that with a girl who lived next-door-but-one. I tried to talk to her many times but either my voice would dry and no sound would come out or my legs would decide to take me in the opposite direction. One day I got home and found that the postie had left a parcel at her house because I was out - woo-hoo! I shot around there before I'd had a chance to get myself worked up and I finally got to talk to her. Nothing came of it (I didn't really think that it would) but I was really happy that I'd managed to slay that particular dragon.

So the moral of the story is, try to avoid planning anything or thinking too deeply about it. That's easier said than done, I know. :um
 

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Welcome, CrashMedicate! :)
 

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Hey CrashMedicate welcome. :)
 

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Welcome! As a girl, I have been through almost that same exact thing many times with guys I liked! Whenever I tried to talk to them, I started getting shaky and sweaty and usually just ended up embarassing myself. One of the things I learned that has helped me is that I realized I would tend to kind of idolize the guy I like. I would be like "wow, that is such a good-looking, fun guy, I'm really gonna have to put on a show if I want to win him over!" But the truth is, he was just a guy. Just like I'm just a girl. I don't have to put a show on for him, I just have to be myself the best I can. When I looked at it this way, my anxiety level went way down and I was able to just relax and let it flow- and it worked!
I also agree that you should be proud of yourself for even going up to her instead of just walking away. Just keep taking baby steps, and if you fail every now and then, that's ok too! If you really like her, just don't give up! good luck! =]
 

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Glad to have you with us, CrashMedicate! :wels
 

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planning relocation
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Some constructive criticism, you over think and over analize like crazy. Half of these things you re freaking out about she probably didnt even notice. I also dont think you blew your last chance just yet. Next time you see her, go over to her and say hi, im sorry if i havent been very sociable latley but ive had a lot on my mind. Then ask what she has been up to and go from there. Start with small talk but then escalate to a more interesting topic. Too much small talk and she ll get bored with the conversation and that will be it. Good luck
 

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Such is life. The amount of times i've done exactly what you described ... i can't count

welcome !
 

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blessed with lucky sevens
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Some constructive criticism, you over think and over analize like crazy. Half of these things you re freaking out about she probably didnt even notice. I also dont think you blew your last chance just yet. Next time you see her, go over to her and say hi, im sorry if i havent been very sociable latley but ive had a lot on my mind. Then ask what she has been up to and go from there. Start with small talk but then escalate to a more interesting topic. Too much small talk and she ll get bored with the conversation and that will be it. Good luck
Good idea :)

To the thread starter, you're like me, I over analise things so much as well and get really shaky in those situations.
Good luck man :)
 

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I just wanted to chime in to let you know that you haven't blown it with that girl at all! Us socially anxious tend to miss signals from others sometimes because we are already worrying about so many things, but even you noticed that she was showing interest, meaning she is being super obvious and going out of her way to get a message across. She clearly likes you, and as long as you talk to her soonish you'll be fine. It doesn't even matter what you talk about, really, as long as you say hello and something else, and then something else after that! Don't give up!
 

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Know exactly what you are coming from matey


one thing I've learnt with girl stuffs - dont bother planning ANYTHING - it never works and it just makes you over think and stress about stuff!

Just go in and try and psych yourself up to be as confident as you possibly can then just force yourself to go for it!
 

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The Tragic Princess
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I'm going to keep trying no matter how many times I screw up, as I'm way too stubborn to just give up. Especially with this girl :blank I can't stop thinking about her over the past couple of weeks. I know it's not good to obsess over this but I feel like I have no control over it. It's not like I can just turn it off like a light switch. I've done this before in the past. It'll blow over sooner or later which should ease the situation.
I've found a great guy that fits well with everything I want and was showing interest in me but after we met, we hung out 2 days in a row and then he just stopped showing those little signs of interest...he hasn't initiated conversation with me in 3 weeks....it makes me feel like crap :( I can't stop thinking about it and how I had a great chance and blew it...I too, have gotten to the point where I'm forcing myself to face my fears...I worked on a cash register and waited on people recently cus this SA has just p*ssed me off for the last time. I forced myself to put in applications and am again tomorrow. i'm tired of wallowing in pity, regret and fear...not for me anymore. Besides...if you force your thoughts to focus in those situations, it isn't so bad.
 

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The Tragic Princess
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PS: I freaking love AFI :yes
 

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The Tragic Princess
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As much as it sucks to go through this, it's comforting to know that others feel my pain. I wish you the best of luck! Don't give up; be persistent. If you haven't yet, try to extend yourself to him a little more. Maybe he thought you weren't into him for whatever reason. Don't be afraid to do and say things that let him know you like him. Guys like that, believe me.

It's amazing how much fear we let get in our heads over such little things like this. I've been trying to pinpoint my fear. What EXACTLY is it that I'm afraid of here? Rejection? Being ignored? Being humiliated? Been there, done that. I try to put into perspective the worst possible outcomes versus the amount of fear I'm letting consume me and it just isn't rational.
Yeah, I told him happy bday on the 10th, he said thanks and then I tried to converse a little more and he didn't respond. Also IMed him once and no response so I pretty much give. He has been a tad depressed over not having a relationship cus he had one for a year and she broke up with him 7 months ago. But before we met in person he showed more interest which leads me to think it's just me. I'm hard to understand I think.
AFI is my favorite band ever since Sing The Sorrow. I want a tattoo of one of their logos(has a skull sitting in roses with some candles and the name) and I need to get their new cd...too poor atm :( I love from Black Sails In the Sunset-Sing the Sorrow the most. Decemberunderground was ok, but I loved STS more. I like high pitch dude voices like Davey's :p and I think he's hawt :D I miss his hair though :(
 
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