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Okay, so I'm twenty-one and a sort of friend and I have planned to hook up in a couple of days.

I'm a virgin, although I've done stuff with one other guy, and I've told the new guy that I am a virgin, I just. I've never said outright that I've only had one other sexual partner, but I've pretty much exaggerated to the extent of lying.

The guy's a couple years younger than me (eighteen) and he's had so much experience and I didn't want him to know how little experience I've had. He know's I'm a virgin, but I've probably over-exaggerated my amount of experience, and again I've never outright lied, but I've basically led this person to believe I've had more than a few "hook-ups" with the same guy (which is the extent of my experience).

I feel bad about it, but he does know I'm pretty inexperienced for my age and I'd like to tell him the truth but not only is it really embarrassing, I feel like I've taken this too far.

If he asks how many guys I've been with I don't know what I'll say...

Help?
 

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I really wouldn't stress on it..I've never talked to my partners about my past sexual experiences unless I was the one who brought it up first. I really don't think he would care either way..it's just a hook-up right?
 

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Well I think you should not tell him at all or you should tell him the truth. You are nervous around people so you've only had one sexual encounter or whatever the truth is. I actually don't quite understand myself what you're saying it is lol. I don't know this guy, obviously, but I see no reason why he would think less of you that you have had less sex. Trust me, the not having enough sex thing is only embarrassing between people of the same sex. Guys look down on guys for not have enough sex and sometimes girls look down on girls who can't get laid. The vast vast majority of guys don't care that a girl hasn't had sex. Just like how the majority of girls don't care if a guy hasn't had sex. In fact it's more acceptable for a girl to have not had sex than a guy. So it's even a double standard in your favor.
So unless he's looking for a girl with a great deal of sexual experience, (which like i said is rare anyway), just tell him.
I don't know how you misled him either but if it was too blatant just tell him you misled him because you were too shy to talk about it.
I don't know how to impress upon you how much of a non-issue this is.
Everyone understands being embarrassed about sexual stuff and no-one (of the opposite sex) cares how much sex you have had. Unless you've had way too much sex lol then some people do start to worry.
 

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I wouldn't worry about it. Tell him if it makes you feel better, but, honestly, it's not really any of his business anyway. Most guys don't care at all and the ones that do only care if you've been with a lot of guys because it gives them performance anxiety (or something). For those guys, less is better. Being with one guy once, ten, or a hundred times is a non-issue. I don't think I've ever known a guy who thought that being with an inexperienced girl was a bad thing.
 

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Don't talk about it unless it's being brought up. In that case, then you can deliberate how much you want to exaggerate or tell the truth on.

Speaking as someone whose dated someone who wouldn't shut up about all his past hookups, it's EXTREMELY offputting. No need to get into details and no one wants to think too much about their bf/gf with others.
 

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I don't think most people are going to ask how many people you've been with.

That said, I think if you're going to be intimate with someone, sex is the last thing you should lie about. I don't think not volunteering information is really a lie unless it's something serious (like "I have an STD") but if they specifically ask your something and you lie, that's the kind of thing that I personally just wouldn't do. Sex is serious business and if you're going to get into a sexual relationship, trust is very important.

Another thing, though. If he asks, you could also just say you'd rather not say or you'd rather not discuss it without actually lying about anything.
 

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I would certainly be honest, but try and change the way you view sex. For some reason we value sex way to highly in the west, and being good at it is critical. We get this view drilled into us in every comedy film and sitcom there has pretty much ever been.

Sex really isn't that important, and neither is being good or bad at it. Also, being promiscuous isn't often a positive thing. I personally would have far more respect for a lady who has only had one partner at 20 than a woman who has had 30 partners at that age.

Also don't forget, it takes two to do it. You can't really be bad at it unless the two of you simply don't click in that way.
 

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Honesty is the best policy, I made the mistake of trying to impress an ex partner and it backfired lol! Nothing wrong at all with being a virgin, we were all one at some point, just be yourself :)
 

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Guys usually don't ask that question, partly because we don't want to know and partly because we don't care.

And he may be exaggerating his experience.

Don't worry about it, just enjoy yourself! :wink
 

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Don't lie to him. Just be honest.
 

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Guys look for virgins

Its special. You should embrace it
Yeah, no kidding. She seems confused about which gender she is.

Your lack of sexual experience can be seen as an asset to men looking for relationship and marriage material. I don't know of any man at all that would see it in a negative light. Why would you want to throw away any potential benefits of it and expose yourself as deceitful?

If you two do have sex, he WILL know. Again, you're FEMALE, not MALE. Your cherry will be unpopped.

You shouldn't bring it up and you don't have to tell him. It's best not to tell him at all and remain modest. If things do get to that point, he'll know and I doubt very much it will bother him.
 

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Men have always taken great pride in being the first...



The only exception is when a guy has a conscience and he doesn't believe you have a future together, he may not want to take your virginity. There is this belief that virgin women become attached to their first.
 
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