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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi,
About 6 months ago I finally get rid off a toxic relationship. She was explosive, lazy, would fight about minor things. Years of pure nightmare. After that, I decided to be single for good. Until I found this girl. Actually, she found me. We met online, those apps. At first, I just wanna hang out with people, not being so alone. That's why I used online apps.

After our "date", she kept talking, being polite. I didn't care, she told me that she just wanna hang out with people too. She is beautifull, a lot. I didn't even imagine having a chance with her. She is a nurse, so doctors are around her, people with money and status.

Well, things evolved those last months and she said she really likes me. I asked her about doctors and her last boyfriend, he was a doctor too. She told me that doctors are all the same, none are worthy. Her ex betrayed her many times.

My self esteem is pretty low, as low as can be those days.
She is the opposite of my ex. She is really lovecaring, sweet. It is really easy to like her. I tend to be racional and logical, but I think things are getting out of hand.

We were talking about clothes and she showed me some male clothes that she likes. None the kind I wear. Her friends are not the type of people I feel good being around, they showed zero interest in me. At least she rarely hang out with them. She has 10 tattos so far, she loves tattoos. I am not a big fan because she tends to be impulsive about tattoos. I am thinking that she likes man with tattoos.

She has a daughter, 3 years old. The kid is really well behaved and I think she likes me. On the other hand, my family is not accepting that. I care a lot about my family and what they think.

The things is: I don't see any reason for her to be with me. It makes zero sense.

She knows she is beautifull, she can easily be with anyone she chooses. Someone with more money, better appearance and body, with a family that welcomes her.

I might be traumatized from the last relantionship. I told her some of my feelings and she said not to worry because she loves me, that I am a good man with a good heart, patient. She also told me she finds me attractive and I am almost sure it is not true. I am trying my best to make her happy. We get along together. We have almost no fights, but in my head it is beacuse I am too good. Is that possible?

My fear is that she is with me because I am the what have left for her. The one who would never cheat on her, never screams at her, do whatever she wants.

Now she is not so talkative as she used to be. I know she is not the kind of girl that likes to talk, especially through messages. Well, we don't make private things as much now. That's a big clue that her feelings for me are egtting smaller.
I really like her. It is difficult to be in a relationship with low self esteem. Anyone experiencing the same problem?

Sorry for any errors. English is not my first language :)
 

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I'm not Dead...Yet
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Isn't that relationships in general haha? One person can have anyone they want, so they choose? I would be proud to say I "out kicked my coverage" as they say.

And everyone doesn't want some doctor. It's boring to some girls and you have to remember that a lot of doctors are older and super serious. That does not appeal to everyone.

I also wouldn't care much if the family doesn't "approve". They're going the be the main ones crying if you're single in 10 years and who you date is not their experience anyway.

I made that mistake a decade ago of rejecting someone for family reasons and it was a massive mistake. We could have been married and everything.

My uncle even had the nerve to ask about the girl too when he was the main guy who didn't like her. Family just likes to complain about stuff like that, I wouldn't think anything of it.

I think it's your bad experience in the last relationship is the biggest factor in you being hesitant in this one, but I wouldn't miss out on a great girl now because of someone else.
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Isn't that relationships in general haha? One person can have anyone they want, so they choose? I would be proud to say I "out kicked my coverage" as they say.

And everyone doesn't want some doctor. It's boring to some girls and you have to remember that a lot of doctors are older and super serious. That does not appeal to everyone.

I also wouldn't care much if the family doesn't "approve". They're going the be the main ones crying if you're single in 10 years and who you date is not their experience anyway.

I made that mistake a decade ago of rejecting someone for family reasons and it was a massive mistake. We could have been married and everything.

My uncle even had the nerve to ask about the girl too when he was the main guy who didn't like her. Family just likes to complain about stuff like that, I wouldn't think anything of it.

I think it's your bad experience in the last relationship is the biggest factor in you being hesitant in this one, but I wouldn't miss out on a great girl now because of someone else.
Hi! Thanks for you answer. I'm really glad that someone read it.
Well, the way you put the words got me thinking. Thanks for that.
How was your relationship? the one you reject.

Best regards
 

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I'm not Dead...Yet
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Hi! Thanks for you answer. I'm really glad that someone read it.
Well, the way you put the words got me thinking. Thanks for that.
How was your relationship? the one you reject.

Best regards
We clicked really well, to the point that if I contacted her on Facebook, we could get into a relationship today, even though we live in different states.

The moral is family should be the very last factor. If she's as great as she sounds, they'll warm up to her anyway.
 

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Low self esteem is hard. You need to work on yourself, therapy, do activities that help build your confidence. If she chooses you, you need to believe her.
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
Low self esteem is hard. You need to work on yourself, therapy, do activities that help build your confidence. If she chooses you, you need to believe her.
Believing is the hard part, isn't it?
I guess I'll get used to it and get some confidence build up.

Thanks for your words :D
 

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She knows she is beautifull, she can easily be with anyone she chooses. Someone with more money, better appearance and body, with a family that welcomes her.

....
I am a good man with a good heart, patient.

....

My fear is that she is with me because I am the what have left for her. The one who would never cheat on her, never screams at her, do whatever she wants.
Would you feel better if she were with you for your looks or money or status? Would it make more sense then?
 

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Aw, I feel this way sometimes too. Sometimes even to the point of tears. My bf is more social than I by a lot, smarter, more talented at certain things, and way better looking than me. I always wonder if he'd rather have a hot girl who isn't so autistic. But he says he wouldn't, and I didn't even have to ask that. I try to remember every compliment he's ever given me and every way he's said I'm better than most girls. Though I'm not sure that's healthy, but I'd recommend doing the same with yours. That's proof she likes you, or the fact she's still with you at all.

Chances are she has some insecurities too. I know mine was insecure at one point that we had the same talents and maybe in his mind, I was the more talented one. But I never cared about that and thought it was cool that we had the same talents. Your insecurities could be something positive in her eyes
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Aw, I feel this way sometimes too. Sometimes even to the point of tears. My bf is more social than I by a lot, smarter, more talented at certain things, and way better looking than me. I always wonder if he'd rather have a hot girl who isn't so autistic. But he says he wouldn't, and I didn't even have to ask that. I try to remember every compliment he's ever given me and every way he's said I'm better than most girls. Though I'm not sure that's healthy, but I'd recommend doing the same with yours. That's proof she likes you, or the fact she's still with you at all.

Chances are she has some insecurities too. I know mine was insecure at one point that we had the same talents and maybe in his mind, I was the more talented one. But I never cared about that and thought it was cool that we had the same talents. Your insecurities could be something positive in her eyes
Thanks for the kind words. Got me thinking here....
 
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