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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi everyone.

I’m looking for someone who lives in Illinois (preferably within 100 to 150 miles of Central Illinois) who would like to start a relationship. I’m a 21 year old guy looking for a girl (or woman, sorry) from about the age of 18 to 24 or 25. I don’t want to pressure anyone…we can have a less serious relationship and call it quits at anytime, or a more serious one. If someone wants to email or PM me to kind of get a feel for what I’m like that’s fine too. No pressure at all. I’d be glad to have someone to talk to anyway.
If anyone somewhere else in the country wants to contact me, that’s great too. If we end up with a more serious internet relationship, perhaps we can travel to see one another occasionally. If this happens, hopefully we can find a way to be together, no matter how many miles separate us (I’m being really optimistic, I guess). I’m just at a point in my life where I need to find that special someone because I want to get married and have kids—that’s ultimately what would give me the most happiness in life. I’m resorting to this because I’m too shy and afraid to talk to anyone and ask them out where I live, and I’ve been struggling with this for years.

Let me give anyone who reads this some information about me so that they will know a little about what I’m like before they try to contact me. When I write (and when I talk!) I get carried away, so that’s why this post is so long. Seriously though, I need someone and I think some of you on this site need someone too, so here’s an opportunity for us to see if we’re right for each other. Try not to get impatient and skip reading a lot of this post—each part of it tells a little about me, and the 10 minutes it takes to read this might change your life (or my life) for the better forever.

What I do, What I want

I’m 21, attend a university and study Finance and live at home with my parents. I have an internship at an investment brokerage company in town for the summer and for about a year or year and a half after that. I’m an assistant to a Financial Advisor there. I’m expecting to graduate in 1 1/2 years, because this long-term internship made me cut my credit hours a little. After college, I intend either to get a job in the finance industry and move away from home or go back to college to study music (particularly musical composition). Either way, I want to be away from my parents and support myself.
My biggest goal in life is to get married to a good, honest, caring woman and have kids who I can be a good father to and whose lives I can be involved in. I want my kids to know that they can always turn to me for help, guidance, someone to play sports with, etc.
About my personality and interests

I’m quiet—not because I’m boring, but because I’m shy. It takes me a while to open up to someone, but once I do, I’m an interesting character.
My sense of humor can be a little sarcastic, dry, and politically incorrect sometimes, but I don’t joke about stuff like that to offend people, I just like to have a good laugh and expect them to have a good laugh about it too. I like to tease people occasionally, but just in good fun, not to hurt anyone. My sense of humor is best described by the kind of TV I watch—I like Dave Chapelle, South Park, Blue Collar TV, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, Anna Nicole show, Tom Green, Jackass, Viva La Bam, Wildboyz, and so and on.
I play tennis and have been since I was 9—on and off. I used to play competitively, but not anymore.
I’m a pretty good ping pong player too, no one I know can beat me and I handicap myself to give others a chance—I’ll play with a block of wood or a remote control or a 50 pound weight instead of a paddle because it gives others a better chance.
I love to go to any park and just walk around and talk.
I like to watch movies (in theatres or at home). I like thrillers, action, horror, comedy, drama, romantic comedy, anything except kids movies, I guess!
I like going out to dinner and having quality conversation.
Shopping is fun (I like to shop for books, electronics, etc.).
I wouldn’t be opposed to going to bars—just as long as I don’t have to dance!
I’m really good with kids. Some of my previous friends had little brothers and sisters and the boys loved to play sports and video games with me and the girls loved to sing along to music with me and talk about boys they liked. I’d always make sure to set aside some time for the kids because they felt ignored when their older sibling was spending time with me instead of them.

My passions have to do with learning new things—I’ve always got something that I’d like to learn, whether it is history, chess, music, business, psychology, or any discipline. I enjoy getting educated I guess, but I don’t enjoy school! I like animals too.
I’m very musical. I play a few instruments (I play the trumpet well, the piano, and guitar). I can compose music too (I auditioned for a music school at a university and was accepted, but decided not to go. Why? It’s a long story). I constantly listen to music for patterns that I can use in my own writing. Right now I’m studying (on my own for fun) about songwriting and how to write good melodies. I have a tremendous amount of aspiration to be really good at composing but my skill is not there yet and I don’t have enough time to devote to it either.
Anything that requires some creativity I like.

About my values, beliefs, attitudes

Belief #1) I believe in honesty. I saw a debate on TV one day—the topic was, is honesty the best policy? One person argued yes, the other no. HONESTY IS ALWAYS THE BEST POLICY NO MATTER WHAT. If someone lies to you and they think it’s ok to do it, you can’t ever trust them again. Lying works until someone finds out, and they will find out eventually, and that ruins relationships forever. Honesty is always the best policy.
Belief #2) Open communication is absolutely necessary for a quality relationship. Two people should tell each other how they truly feel. If there is a conflict, people should be up front and try to solve it and compromise. If fighting between two people gets bad enough and they both truly care about each other, they should say “Our relationship is more important than winning an argument. Let’s get our relationship back and enjoy what is so important to us.” Communicating how you really feel to the other person often is way better than holding it all in and then exploding later on, and when a person communicates to the other one, don’t be afraid of hurting their feelings. They need to know what bothers you so that you can both be happy.
Belief #3) Equal levels of commitment are essential. No person in the relationship should be more committed or less committed to their partner than the other one. Someone’s going to get hurt in the end if two people misunderstand what their commitments are. Two people should be honest and up front about their commitments in the beginning.
Belief #4) Forgiving. People should be willing to forgive an awful lot of the other person as long as he/she is truly sorry and wants to change. People who care about each other are willing to do this. However, some people aren’t truly sorry and just act like they are—that means they’re dishonest and belief # 1 is violated.

Other Beliefs

I consider myself either Atheist or agnostic, but really I just have trouble believing. I was raised in church but stopped going because I didn’t feel comfortable in a place where I didn’t believe what everyone else around me did. I don’t really have any intention of trying to believe in religion or going to church, but I may think differently one day—I just don’t know.
I recognize that keeping a job and being financially secure is important, but not at the expense of what really matters in life, such as spending time with family and friends, enjoying life, and experiencing new things. Some people care about power and status in their jobs and getting rich…I don’t care about that.
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