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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
How horrible is it to have no friends or close family. Just a boyfriend but we havent been able to make a child. I feel useless mostly, I cant find a job, my family doesnt need me (they live miles away) and my attempt to make my own family failed. I have no money to adopt nor any room. :no
 

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Sounds like me. I only have my partner. No friends and family are around.. but I dont have a 'connection' to them, kinda feel like the 'black sheep' of the family. I also am unemployed and Im always apologizing to my bf for 'dissappointing'. He says it doesnt matter. But it does to me.

Have you spoken to a doctor about not being able to concieve? Tell your doctor your trying. Also remember, conception doesnt always just happen after one or 2 or 3 times. Sometimes it can take a few years!
For me, I fell pregnant in 2005, and 'said goodbye', prolly the worst thing Ive ever gone through. The desire to have a baby after that was so intense. We've been 'reckless' ever since.. its now 2009 and I'm almost 14 weeks pregnant now. Every month for the last 4 years. Ive been waiting. So dont worry if it takes a while.

Start saving now, even if its a couple of dollars here and there. Is there much support services in your country for families?

Right now Im not financially ready, my partners doing an apprenticeship (low income) until mid next year when his income may go up higher.. but I wonder, who really is financially ready other than the rich? Love and nurturance is what makes a person. You can make it on the necessities to keep costs low.
Perhaps start buying baby stuff now? when you have the money of course. Get all that in order and dont focus too much on 'am I pregnant yet?'. It seems like everytime I forget about something, that something happens.

Ive only just found out, that even when you think your 'ready' emotionally for a family of your own, you never really are! Things I never really thought of before, are now hitting me in the face. Its a scary thing.

But goodluck and I hope it works out for you. Keep at it.
 

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The b**** is back
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Oh NicoShy, I'm sorry you feel so low but please don't think having a child will fix your problems! Goodness, add to the issues you have now extreme fatigue, intense worry, financial problems... Ok, admittedly I'm not a maternal person so I don't really get why anyone would want a baby but seriously, feeling lonely is not a good reason to have a kid! I'm not judging, just suggesting that it might be better to try and address your own issues first. I've never once seen someone with emotional issues or low self-esteem being magically cured because they had a child.

Good luck, I know it's tough right now and I really am sorry you're feeling bad but it's wise I think to try and heal yourself before you try such a huge undertaking.
 

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Oh NicoShy, I'm sorry you feel so low but please don't think having a child will fix your problems! Goodness....feeling lonely is not a good reason to have a kid! I'm not judging, just suggesting that it might be better to try and address your own issues first. I've never once seen someone with emotional issues or low self-esteem being magically cured because they had a child.
:ditto
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Sounds like me. I only have my partner. No friends and family are around.. but I dont have a 'connection' to them, kinda feel like the 'black sheep' of the family. I also am unemployed and Im always apologizing to my bf for 'dissappointing'. He says it doesnt matter. But it does to me.

Have you spoken to a doctor about not being able to concieve? Tell your doctor your trying. Also remember, conception doesnt always just happen after one or 2 or 3 times. Sometimes it can take a few years!
For me, I fell pregnant in 2005, and 'said goodbye', prolly the worst thing Ive ever gone through. The desire to have a baby after that was so intense. We've been 'reckless' ever since.. its now 2009 and I'm almost 14 weeks pregnant now. Every month for the last 4 years. Ive been waiting. So dont worry if it takes a while.

Start saving now, even if its a couple of dollars here and there. Is there much support services in your country for families?

Right now Im not financially ready, my partners doing an apprenticeship (low income) until mid next year when his income may go up higher.. but I wonder, who really is financially ready other than the rich? Love and nurturance is what makes a person. You can make it on the necessities to keep costs low.
Perhaps start buying baby stuff now? when you have the money of course. Get all that in order and dont focus too much on 'am I pregnant yet?'. It seems like everytime I forget about something, that something happens.

Ive only just found out, that even when you think your 'ready' emotionally for a family of your own, you never really are! Things I never really thought of before, are now hitting me in the face. Its a scary thing.

But goodluck and I hope it works out for you. Keep at it.
Thanks for sharing. We've been trying for a year. Doing "IT" during my fertile time each month. Nothing has worked and I feel devasted and barren. I cant get anything from a dr cause I just have basic healthcare. I dont have any money for fertility drugs.
 

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I am a believer that everything happens for a reason. It is not your time to have a child. I would definitely wait just a little bit unless your biological clock is ticking.
When I have children, I want them to be in a loving environment were family and friends visit often and they are happy. I grew up in a environment were family didn't visit much, my parents didn't have many friends now look how I turned out.
Good luck on everything.
 

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Hi NicoShy,
I agree with other posts saying that a baby won't fix already existing issues. Actually there are lots of studies that actually link pregnancy & recent motherood with an increase in anxiety dissorders (particularly OCD).

I think about this a lot actually when my partner & I talk about having children in the future. I would like to have as much of my SA under control as possible by that time just in case pregnancy might make it worse.

But I do think like Alicia2009 that "everything happens for a reason". You should definitely keep trying because starting a family is important for you & your partner. But rather than thinking that it is taking too long, maybe in the mean while you could see it as "taking advantage" of this time to get other goals in order. (I know it's easier said than done but) You could focus your job hunt, keeping in touch with family long-distance, dealing with SA in general, or whatever else will make you feel happier and accomplished!
That way when you do start your family, you will be all the better/happier for it!

Good luck!
:)
 
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