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• G.S.A.D •
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Hello,

I can see that here we have loads of people with social anxiety disorder and to me it's really great, since I know I am not alone, but on second thought I am very sad that so many of you here suffer from this terrible condition, that control your lives, like it controls mine.

The most annoying or ... yes, the most annoying thing about having social anxiety disorder, is that people around you don't approve that this disorder is real, lot's of people say it's fake, just because they have never suffered from it. I label such people as ''stupid'' and ... I just have so much hate for them...

I believe I have suffered from this disorder since childhood, but the disorder is usually called ''selective mutism'' in young people.

I haven't seen a psychologist or a therapist or a doctor to diagnose me with social anxiety disorder, all I know is that I fit all the symptoms awfully precisely. I experience everything what other ''OFFICIAL'' S.A.D sufferer's experience and so on...

My most memorable and most awful experiences of having (generalized) social anxiety disorder is;

1) ''When I was 7-8 years old, I was in a hospital due to excessive vomiting (hyperemisis), I forgot the reason for me having hyperemesis, but It had something to do with me leaving ''Hubba Bubba'' chewing gum inside my mouth and falling a sleep with it.

So during my first few weeks of being in the hospital I was very anxious and really scared to talk to anyone, but I managed to find a nice patient, a boy who was about 3-4 years older than me, and I talked to him and we kind of became good friends, but he told me he doesn't live here and he and his family going to go back to their home town when he gets better. I never asked what was wrong with him.

Later on, few other patients were admitted to the hospital and into our room. These two were really fake people and I thought they will be the same as this guy, but I was wrong and I don't really want to get into what was happening in there.

Just simply put > non-stop mental bullying.

Well I don't want to bore you people with my ''hospital stay'' story, so I'm just going to tell you what effect did S.A.D had on me...

I woke up, was in my hospital bed and I wanted to go to pee, but we always had to call the nurse just to go to the toilet... and you can imagine now what happened... I didn't want to draw attention to myself by shouting out for a nurse and thus ... yeah ... Once the nurse came she asked my ''So Why Didn't You Call Me?''

2)

This isn't a specific story, because this happens to me EVERYDAY... When I get to my class and when the lesson begins, I usually have thoughts of that people think negatively of me... Whenever the teacher asks a question and waits for people to tell them the answer... I always know the answer and I DO TRY to say something, but my heart starts beating so fast, I start to shake, I start to breath fast... and usually just stay quiet...

3)

Secondary school (high school) ... was a living hell... So when I started going to college I thought ''This is my new chance to make some friends'', but I didn't know I suffered from S.A.D until 4-6 months ago... So anyways... I was left out, became an outcast... didn't have anyone to hang out with during break time... So I usually went to the library, where I know I would be safe from social situations...

I do want to socialize, but I am too afraid... I just can't talk... I think If I say something stupid, they will make fun of me... and so I just try to avoid social situations...

I also have a feeling that I suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder? But umm... I don't know...

So yeah...

About me:

I like to watch TV series (Dexter, House, The Mentalist, Desperate Housewives... and so on)

I like to study...

At home I am usually funny and really have a great personality... but whenever I go out into public, I lose my personality...

I become a robot

So I guess I will be posting more stuff... and read people's stuff... of how they come with this constant anxiety...

OW OW OW OW AND PEOPLE UMM

Do you get headaches from anxiety? Can you get headaches from anxiety? :S ...
 

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Hey Arthur, welcome to :sas
 

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Welcome, XsMearX! :)
 
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