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Be Yourself and Be Happy
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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
hey guys right odd predicament to be in .. lived on my own for a bit, when i lived at the family home i couldnt wait to get out (im 27) and now im living alone its great but its a bit of a double edged sword - i find i like it but then wish i had company (not allowed pets) then when people are here i want them to go after 30 - 45 mins ...
anyone else find this??
 

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Moving Towards Destiny
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Integral part of SA.
Yes.
I have experienced that all my life.
Desperately wanting company but feeling horribly nervous when I do have company and wanting to be alone at the same time.

That is our terrible condition: we are desperate for love and company, but when we are in the company of others, we are so agitated and nervous we just want to run away.
 

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Integral part of SA.
Yes.
I have experienced that all my life.
Desperately wanting company but feeling horribly nervous when I do have company and wanting to be alone at the same time.

That is our terrible condition: we are desperate for love and company, but when we are in the company of others, we are so agitated and nervous we just want to run away.
You really hit the nail on the head there. The "Come Here, Go Away" Syndrome. I definitely have had it since forever. I feel I need maybe 5-10 minutes of social stimulation at a time and then the other person can go away until I need them again. When I am in their office chatting I usually stand the whole time instead of sitting. Sitting means being there a lot longer. Of course they end up thinking I am a major oddball who is not worth the effort of befriending. But I think I can actually fake sounding like a socially normal person for a very brief period of time. I do get jealous when I see people having looong heart-to-heart conversations where they discuss interesting topics and funny personal anecdotes for a half hour or longer. I can't do that.
 

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Yeah i always get bored when im alone & wish there was someone else here, then when someone is here all i can is i can't wait for you to leave :lol . I need my alone time being around ppl to much isn't really enjoyable for me. So basicly im damned if u do & damned if i dont.
 

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Be Yourself and Be Happy
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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
its a nightmare -what do you lot do - just live with it? what do you spend your evenings doing usually ?
 

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Ive got 2 younger brothers who i don't mind spending time with so usually with them, & if they get 2 much i just go to my bed room and chill and they usually hang out in the living room quite happily on the computer or whatever.
 

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Recovery/"Over it"
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I want to try living alone soon. I'm curious as to how I will experience it. I'm sure I'd be quite lonely sometimes, but at the moment I feel that would be a price worth paying. It would also encourage me to be more socially proactive.
 

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Moving Towards Destiny
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How I Spend My Time

its a nightmare -what do you lot do - just live with it? what do you spend your evenings doing usually ?
I have lived alone for years so when I am at home, I usually read a lot; either books and articles online or in my living room with books. History, religion, politics, philosophy, art; read about all kinds of subjects. Do some programming on some database projects.

Occasionally I will watch movies; I have been trying to get up to date on some software and a particular programming language. Talk baby talk to my cat ! :) In my spare time I dabble in 3D art making mostly fantasy / surrealistic images with Bryce and Truespace.

I just started a database development company of me, myself, and I, so that has been taking up a good bit of my time.

Actually got some good offers from an executive employment company, a baseball academy, a national aircraft tire company and one other. Not bad for only being in business for 2 months with free listings. I have a degree in business and finance and studied computer programming so I thought I would try a company of my own believe it or not.

SA be damned. I will either do it or die !

I go to Saturday night free concerts and on Sundays go to church.

Even with all that, most of the time I am alone with my cat Moses. :(
My cat has a very limited vocabulary so his conversations are not that interesting ! :haha
 

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Be Yourself and Be Happy
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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
aww i wish i could have a cat and be a crazy cat lady ... im not allowed one here though .. plus they would probably ruin my carpet anyway :(
 

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I prefer to live alone. I have room mates at the moment, and they refuse to obey proper etiquette when living with others. They got drunk and partied Saturday night. The alcohol made them extremely extroverted, so they talked very excitedly and loudly. In fact, they were on the verge of actually having a yelling conversation. This kept up till 3 am, so I didn't sleep that night. I prefer the quiet and the solitude -at home-. Home is where I organize and get to be away from anxiety inducing things, it's where I get to be me completely, without fear of judgment. I can hole up inside all day and not worry about an extroverted roomie who doesn't understand introversion or SA wondering about me or thinking it odd that someone doesn't want to talk, or doesn't have friends over, never talks on the phone, stays in his room all day, etc.
 

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Be Yourself and Be Happy
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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
I prefer to live alone. I have room mates at the moment, and they refuse to obey proper etiquette when living with others. They got drunk and partied Saturday night. The alcohol made them extremely extroverted, so they talked very excitedly and loudly. In fact, they were on the verge of actually having a yelling conversation. This kept up till 3 am, so I didn't sleep that night. I prefer the quiet and the solitude -at home-. Home is where I organize and get to be away from anxiety inducing things, it's where I get to be me completely, without fear of judgment. I can hole up inside all day and not worry about an extroverted roomie who doesn't understand introversion or SA wondering about me or thinking it odd that someone doesn't want to talk, or doesn't have friends over, never talks on the phone, stays in his room all day, etc.
Very true hun, i couldnt live with someone with their loudness and untidiness etc now ... it would drive my OCD mad :(
 

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Moving Towards Destiny
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aww i wish i could have a cat and be a crazy cat lady ... im not allowed one here though .. plus they would probably ruin my carpet anyway :(
Crazy cat ladies are cool !
There was one when I was in high school that had 9 cats !

I feed 5 stray cats that were born in our neighborhood and I love the little guys! I let them into my place through my kitchen and poor Moses has SA too from being an indoor cat so when he sees the stray cats come in he gets very shy.

It is so funny to watch him because the stray cats are very used to people since me and my neighbors have fed them for years and they are very friendly and poor socially anxious Moses gets all timid and shy when they come in ! :lol
 

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I also hate leaving my room when they are here :p I notice how they impact my behavior. They clog up the living room area, so I don't use the kitchen, I do laundry very rarely and only if they aren't here. I don't like to be loud or make noises if they can hear (I won't vacuum, for example). They just have a negative impact on me overall. I tend to feel trapped. I'd prefer to be alone. Then I could have freedom of movement, at least.
 
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