[Makaveli]

I'm sure we all think about this quite often... "how much better would my life be if I didn't have SA holding me back". I pondered it the other day with a bit of despair. I've always had SA but life is worse when I'm depressed, because depression I find so darn paralyzing. I had an episode only 2 days ago and I feel somewhat better but sort of daydreamed on what and where I'd be without these "limitations".

I'm only predicting here but I believe I'd definately be more successful in a career and very secure financially. I think I'd have probably been married to one of my ex gf's had I not pushed them away. I also think, that with no SA and the like holding me back that I'd have done more for other people, as in a conceited effort. Both for family and for the community.

Where do you realistically believe your life would be without SA and any other factors inhibiting you?

 

[N3XT2NON3]

I wouldn't be forced to take sides with my parents (they're divorced) & i'd tell them what I really feel instead of being caught in thier crossfire

I would've been a better student

I think I'd have a few jobs by now. Never had one due to SA

I'd be closer with friends.

I'd go wild & crazy having fun like my friends do. They look like they have a blast while I just watch.

 

[Makaveli]

I wouldn't be forced to take sides with my parents (they're divorced) & i'd tell them what I really feel instead of being caught in thier crossfire

I would've been a better student

I think I'd have a few jobs by now. Never had one due to SA

I'd be closer with friends.

I'd go wild & crazy having fun like my friends do. They look like they have a blast while I just watch.

totally can relate to the last bit. I feel weird letting myself go and being free.

hey at least u still have friends, i lose touch with mine

 

[N3XT2NON3]

its hard. my friends live far away so i don't see them a lot. if i lose my close small circle of friends, I'm not sure how bad I'll end up. i just wish i can do whatever i want like they do. enjoying themselves without a care of who's watching. just me out of the group who has that issue of not doing so

 

[Makaveli]

I don't mean to be a bummer, or pee in your Cheerios, but...

It doesn't matter where my life would be if I didn't have SA. People with SA and non-SA'ers all have things that happen in their past that results in an undesirable change in the course of their lives.

Us or them can't change what did or did not happen in the past, it's impossible and can't be done.

There is no value or benefit one can obtain pondering what could have been "better".

This behavior will only lead to negative thoughts that can lead to depression.

If you must, may I suggest you think to your past and look upon one good thing (or more if they exist) that happened? My example is, I look back to when I was in 1st grade and played with Matchbox cars by the base of the tree, in the dirt, with friends (approximately 1976).

Otherwise, use that same time you would otherwise think about depressing things and read those books, and practice overcoming. We can change our future. It's something that is possible and can be done. My suggestions earlier can help you. You have a lot to do, you don't know it yet, and you'll be excited.

: )

You hit the nail on my head there in the bolded bit. I really do alter my brain chemicals with all this negative thinking.

I have heaps of +ve moments. Eg; going on the space mountain ride @ disneyland over and over again with my brother and sister back in 97.

I am still due to reply to your last pm but I def have to get those books.

thanks Tony

 

[jordantaylor]

I'm not entirely sure.
I'm only fifteen, so I'm just trying to not mess it up too bad while I am young.