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I'm 25 years old and have just been accepted to a graduate program for mental health counseling in Boston. My life has been somewhat manageable up till now, insofar as I've been able to put on a mask - to others; saving my anxious melt-downs for private bathroom stalls and the quietitude of my apartment. This has been all fine and good but lately things have been slipping....

Despite making good grades in undergrad., and having completed clinical internships and undergrad. research I find myself lonelier than ever. I've begun withdrawing from class and social situations, have developed a phobia of speaking in public, and am consumed by tormenting thoughts at least 85% of my day. Furthermore, I've resigned myself to an isolated existence and have but a hand full of friends that are dwindling by the day.

I feel divided... as if everything I've ever worked toward, and cared about, specifically psychotherapy, is somehow drifting further from my reach. And this feels ironic too. How can I be an effective counselor when I can't even cope with my own tangled, mixed up self?

I recently sought out CBT, hoping for change before I leave for grad school. I've read several books by Albert Ellis and am familiar with the type of therapy involved... but am kind of uncertain about the outcome. Has anyone had any luck with this? And if so, how long does it usually take to see some improvement?
 

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Hi,
I know it's difficult since you are just beginning to address your emotional issues and depression, but, speaking from experience, if you can be open to the flow of healing TO YOU you'll be thankful someday. And the healing flowing FROM YOU will be potent. Welcome.
 
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