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Refined Reinvention
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Hi I'm really sorry I accidentally posted this in the wrong section earlier. I think I left the page open. I really meant to post it here. Please delete it:
http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f12/life-mutilation-967689/#post1071912369

I don't know if there's any understanding of this. While some people harm themselves differently, I have for a pretty long time, a pattern of outright harming my life.

I've never had a suicidal thought. Like never really understood a desire to die. I've never physically harmed/injured myself intentionally. However, my entire life, I've been stopping myself from doing the things that would lead to a happy productive life. Somewhat because of how I've been treated by an overall abusive society that is extremely difficult to handle. Mostly because of severely emotionally abusive family that I had to stay away from. But despite being away from them for a long time, I've been overall been intentionally doing things prevent myself from living a good life.
 

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Yours might be a case of learned helplessness.

It was like that in my family. "Let me help you with this", "You can't do that alone", etc... As an example, I could never learn how to cook until I lived independently.
 
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