Social Anxiety Support Forum banner

1 - 6 of 6 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
22 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi. I'm new here. I just needed a place to vent to people who understand my torment. I am newly single after being a stay-at-home mom for YEARS. This was a pretty sudden situation and so I was forced to take whatever job I could find. After applying to a seemingly endless line of places, a friend of mine sent me to a friend of his who was a hiring manager. He gave me an interview and thought I would be great and hired me. The position: Door to door sales. I am able to fool people one-on-one into thinking I am an extremely confident and outgoing person. It takes a lot of effort and energy and I can't sustain it or perform to that degree around multiple people, but I can somehow manage it with one individual. It is very much "acting." It is very uncomfortable and unnatural. I am acutely and painfully aware of every action, facial expression, body movement, breath, word, etc. I make.
Anyhow, I now have a job going door to door trying to sell DIRECTV to total strangers. This is my worst nightmare. Every day is exhausting physically, mentally and emotionally. I keep trying to pump myself up and tell myself no one is judging me, I'm not trying to "sell" anything- I'm just offering people a service that will either save them money or give them more value. (I do believe in the service I'm offering, so that makes it a LITTLE easier.) Unfortunately, I still cannot stop myself from feeling like an absolute FREAK when someone opens their front door. Most of the time, I just pretend to ring the doorbell, stand there for a few seconds, then leave my flyer with my name and number on it on their front door. (This way, my teammates think I'm trying, but no one is home. We all go into neighborhoods together.) The problem is, if I don't sell, I'm not getting paid. It's 100% commission. We just had a big event where we had a tent set up and people would stop by to get information and get a free quote and set up service. It was me, the new girl, and two of the big guys. They RACKED UP on sales. They got somewhere around 25-40 sales over the weekend. I got 2 1/2. (I had to split one with one of the guys because when I asked him a question about pricing, he just took over the sale and then said he would just split the commission with me. This really upset me because I just needed to him to answer my one question, but I didn't have the nerve to stand up for myself.) The other guys were out standing in the aisle yelling stuff like, "NFL SUNDAY TICKET!!! EVERY GAME!!! EVERY SUNDAY!!!!" and "GET YOUR FREE DIRECTV QUOTE RIGHT HERE!!!!" I was cowering behind the table waiting until someone in the crowd made eye contact with ME and looked like they were interested, on their own, in finding out more. I could not bring myself to go out and try to bring people in. It kills me because I missed an opportunity to make SOOOO much money. I made $400 from 2 1/2 sales on one day. If I could have been outgoing and confident, I could have made THOUSANDS of dollars. It's a huge regret.
So, now, I have the opportunity to make good money again by working every day, but I can't make myself overcome my terror to be effective at my job. I'm still applying to other jobs every day, but with no real work experience and no degrees, it's hard-going. I was taking Xanax and Zoloft for SA, but the Zoloft started making me clench my jaws and tense up really badly at night. So, I stopped taking it about a month ago. I went back to my doctor the morning of my first day of work to get my Xanax refilled and my blood pressure was high. It's never been high. My blood pressure is always low. He told me to just try taking the Xanax for now and see if that's enough and then, when I come back in a month we'll see where to go. I was always prescribed .5 mg twice a day which worked fine before, but with this job I was taking 1 mg twice a day (double my prescribed dose) and so I'm out now. I'm just at a loss over what to do. Sometimes, I really feel like just laying down in the middle of the highway. (I wouldn't. Just the THOUGHT of it seems easier.) I don't know if anyone will actually read all of this. If you do, I'm sorry you had to. lol
If you have advice, I'd love to hear it.
If you've gone through something similar, I'd love to hear it.
If you can offer some encouragement, I'd love to hear it.

Thanks, guys.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
9 Posts
Please forgive me for saying this: Quit this job.

You have to ask yourself, are you really helping anyone? Or are you pushing them to sign a contract that they don't really need or can't afford. I'm not sure this is really helping people. Plus these families are trying to spend some time in their homes in peace. They don't want to be bothered. Tell your teammates to quit too. There is no virtue in harassing people in their private homes.

I went door to door in 6th grade to sell candy bars to support a school trip. I still remember how bad the experience was so many years later. I did something similar in High School trying to sell yearbook ads to businesses. Not something I like to remember. No money is worth the bad memories I acquired doing these events.

I don't think sales and social anxiety are compatible.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
22 Posts
Discussion Starter · #3 ·
Manifest- thanks for responding. I appreciate your opinion, but I am, in no way, trying to push anything on anyone. I talk to the people, ask them what they currently have, what they're currently paying, and if I can't save them money, I tell them to I can't and to have a great day and thanks for talking to me. Most of the time, however, I actually CAN save people money AND offer them more services. The people are very friendly. (I live in the south. People invite you in and offer you lemonade.) If people seem like they are in the middle of ANYTHING, I will ask, "Is this a bad time?" I've never had anyone say it was. That's what makes it even more ridiculous. The people are not big and scary. They're very kind and open to what I have to say and at least ACT interested. Most people thank me for stopping by. I'm still just terrified of approaching every door.
Anyways...
 

·
Looking for an argument
Joined
·
2,334 Posts
Sounds like not a very ideal job for you, like for me I would hate to work in a busy kitchen, they say being a chef is one of the most stressful jobs, and I'd be no good at it, I'd get all flustered and I get stressed easily. So naturally I'm not gonna do that line of work. The money sounds good, is that one of the main reasons you took it?
How long have you been doing it? With experience you should get more confident at it, but I understand if you're prone to anxiety it might not get much easier with time. It sounds like you believe in what you're selling which helps, I don't think there's anything wrong with door knocking, I signed up to my isp from a door knocker, he offered me a great deal which meant I could get sky (pay tv) for not much more than I was paying before. I'm glad he came to my doorstep.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
4 Posts
You need to view it as a job, and your job doesn't define you. I worked in sales a few years ago, and I learned how to be okay at it even though I'm not that outgoing. You just need to find your niche, and aggression doesn't work for everybody.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
122 Posts
You seem like a very compassionate person and like you would make the sales targets you want to make, if you are able to get through this rut. Why is it that you feel like a freak when someone opens the door? What is the core feeling behind this? I think you need to dig deep to figure out why you're feeling such dread when it comes to the potential buyer opening the door. You said yourself you are confident and outgoing one-on-one, so you obviously are capable of doing this. It seems like your fear is in your subconscious and to sort it out, you might benefit from CBT, meditation, yoga, and/or trying to get to the root of the subconscious fear/doubt that's resulting in you feeling the way you do. The basis of CBT is 'What you think is what you feel,' to give you an idea as to how it might help you.
 
1 - 6 of 6 Posts
Top