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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
1. Life is a popularity contest
So not true! It's OK if you don't have a ton of friends or if you aren't the most sociable person in the world. I am thankful for the friends I have. I only have a few close friends, but they are great friends.

2. Everyone is watching every move you make and judging you.
A lie....you don't do that to others, why would you assume they are doing it to you?

3. You are different and something is wrong with you.
Everyone has issues. No one is perfect. We all have strong holds in our lives that we struggle with. Don't be so hard on yourself.


4. I will never get over my SA.
Don't believe it!! If you set your mind on something, you can do it! Take control of your own mind and get rid of those negative thoughts....where the mind goes, the heart follows.

5. People who are more sociable are better than me.
A lot of people that have SA are very nice, considerate people, and more aware of other people's feelings. We are just too trapped inside of ourselves to show it.

Anyone ever struggle with believing any of these lies? Any other lies you can think of that people with SA believe as truth? Let me know what you think!
 

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Pastry Case
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:clap
 

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Good idea for a thread. :clap

There are a few things I've come to realise since overcoming the worst and being "on the mend" so to speak, yet when I mention them here people are very sceptical - Which is fair enough I guess. Some things need to be experienced to be believed, and I probably wouldn't have believed some of the things either if I had been told them when I was in a much worse state.

Will come back to thread later.
 

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Just quickly: I think it's worth mentioning that anxiety thrives on assumptions. Realising that a lot of the things you were previously sure were true are actually not entirely accurate/true (or only partially true) is an important part of the process of overcoming anxiety disorders.

So my advice/plea to people here would be to listen to the things posted in this thread with an open mind. Don't just dismiss them straight away because your experience so far has been different.
 

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Fighting not flighting
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3. You are different and something is wrong with you.
Everyone has issues. No one is perfect. We all have strong holds in our lives that we struggle with. Don't be so hard on yourself.

5. People who are more sociable are better than me.
A lot of people that have SA are very nice, considerate people, and more aware of other people's feelings. We are just too trapped inside of ourselves to show it.

Anyone ever struggle with believing any of these lies? Any other lies you can think of that people with SA believe as truth? Let me know what you think!
I've been 'different' all my life. I'm an artist, I'm left handed, grew up with friends of different cultures and races, never was in the 'in' crowd, never really fit in with my family dynamic... so all of these things and more, and ignorant people telling you something's wrong, can deceive you into believing that something is wrong. The fact of the matter is every human being is unique and our differences make us beautiful yet all connected because we all have them. There's society, and what society dictates as 'normal'. I just never fit the normal mold.

People who are more sociable have better social skills, but that doesn't make them better than me. I still struggle with the lie that they are better than me at times. I just think that good social skills are highly valued in our society. Being quiet and caring is undervalued and overlooked.

A lie that we believe:
Because my mom and/or dad was like this, I'm doomed.
LIE!
They gave birth to you and yes you did inherit some of their traits, but you my friend grow to be your OWN person. You be who you wanna be, go get it. It's possible. I believe we will all stand before God one day and be judged for the good and bad that we did. Your mom and dad won't be there standing with you. They'll be in line waiting to get judged too. You are responsible for who you are and who you will be.
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
Just quickly: I think it's worth mentioning that anxiety thrives on assumptions. Realising that a lot of the things you were previously sure were true are actually not entirely accurate/true is an important part of the process of overcoming anxiety disorders.

So my advice/plea to people here would be to listen to the things posted in this thread with an open mind. Don't just dismiss them straight away because your experience so far has been different.
That is great advice! I know not all of these apply to everyone, but I personally believed them as truth at one time in my life. I hope everyone will keep an open mind with this thread and keep things positive. Realizing these thoughts as lies and finding freedom by letting them go has really helped me in my journey to over come my SA.
 

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Discussion Starter · #8 ·
I've been 'different' all my life. I'm an artist, I'm left handed, grew up with friends of different cultures and races, never was in the 'in' crowd, never really fit in with my family dynamic... so all of these things and more, and ignorant people telling you something's wrong, can deceive you into believing that something is wrong. The fact of the matter is every human being is unique and our differences make us beautiful yet all connected because we all have them. There's society, and what society dictates as 'normal'. I just never fit the normal mold.

People who are more sociable have better social skills, but that doesn't make them better than me. I still struggle with the lie that they are better than me at times. I just think that good social skills are highly valued in our society. Being quiet and caring is undervalued and overlooked.

A lie that we believe:
Because my mom and/or dad was like this, I'm doomed.
LIE!
They gave birth to you and yes you did inherit some of their traits, but you my friend grow to be your OWN person. You be who you wanna be, go get it. It's possible. I believe we will all stand before God one day and be judged for the good and bad that we did. Your mom and dad won't be there standing with you. They'll be in line waiting to get judged too. You are responsible for who you are and who you will be.
That's a good point! I had a horrible childhood, and I learned a lot from my parents- things not to do. lol We are who we choose to be. And you are right, we will stand before God alone some day and be accountable for our own actions.
 

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2. Everyone is watching every move you make and judging you.
A lie....you don't do that to others, why would you assume they are doing it to you?
I do do that to others and so does everyone. The rest are irrelevant to me.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
Everyone has a right to their own opinion. I can relate with you. I used to panic when I went to the doctor or dentist. The longer I had to sit in the waiting room, the more anxious I got.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
"If people don't like me then I must be worthless."

I believed that for a loooooong, looong time.
I used to believe that one too. I absolutely hated it when I thought some one didn't like me. But theres no way you can get everyone to like you, and when you learn to like yourself it doesn't matter so much if other people like you. :)
 

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2. Everyone is watching every move you make and judging you.
A lie....you don't do that to others, why would you assume they are doing it to you?
I disagree unfortunately. Maybe not to the extreme of watching your "every move" but people in general judge and try and make every presumption they can about you (good or bad; it's the unknowingness which bothers us). We wouldn't be human if we didn't. It's nothing more than a biological response to potential threats. Except we take it too far, most of us at least. I judge people no more/no less than how other people judge me. I try not to but it's instinctual.
 

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1. Life is a popularity contest
Accurate to varying degrees based on situation. Arguably never outright wrong.

2. Everyone is watching every move you make and judging you.
Again, more true than not. Some groups (family, church, close friends) may not be as quick to judge but in general people will judge you. It seems instinctual. People may do it before actively considering that it is wrong or hurtful.

3. You are different and something is wrong with you.
I am different. Somethings are wrong with me. Yet somethings are right too.

4. I will never get over my SA.
Yep. True.

5. People who are more sociable are better than me.
People who are more sociable will generally seem better and / or of more value than me by societal standards. That said, society is a fickle scale. All people should find their own worth instead of resting solely on what others think.
 

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@Agape1... thank you! Your post is very comforting and encouraging. I especially like points 3 & 4 because I often find myself falling into the trap of feeling like there's no possible way out of this anxiety/panic pigeonhole... so you reminded me that it is possible to dig out if the necessary steps are taken.. and also it's good to be reminded that because I have anxiety/panic it doesn't make defective. It's easy to fall into the trap of feeling like damaged goods in a way, or worthless. It's a cycle of the anxiety feeding on the self-criticism and the self criticism feeding on the anxiety. Your post lifted my spirits and gives me hope.
 

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2. Everyone is watching every move you make and judging you.
A lie....you don't do that to others, why would you assume they are doing it to you?
I get that this is supposed to be a positive post, but this is a fallacy "you don't do that to others, why would you assume they are doing it to you?" (not sure which one lol)

Just because I don't do something doesn't mean others don't.

secondly, I believe my SA is based strictly off this, from being bullied for a long time, I know that anything I did was critiqued and watched and I became increasingly more anxious as the years went on. I know that people are less outward about it now, like they won't say it to your face, but I hear it often. People judging people harshly for simply being themselves. My roommate wonders why I don't want to go to parties/why I won't dance in public, yet when someone is dancing bad she always laughs at them... so why would I want to put myself in situations for people to judge me. They're going to judge me anyway, but I'd rather not purposefully put myself in those situations.

#3 isn't a lie either. I am different... and people constantly feel the need to remind me that I'm soooo weird... and something is wrong with hence, why I'm using this site.
 

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Discussion Starter · #18 ·
@Agape1... thank you! Your post is very comforting and encouraging. I especially like points 3 & 4 because I often find myself falling into the trap of feeling like there's no possible way out of this anxiety/panic pigeonhole... so you reminded me that it is possible to dig out if the necessary steps are taken.. and also it's good to be reminded that because I have anxiety/panic it doesn't make defective. It's easy to fall into the trap of feeling like damaged goods in a way, or worthless. It's a cycle of the anxiety feeding on the self-criticism and the self criticism feeding on the anxiety. Your post lifted my spirits and gives me hope.
I am so glad to know that this post was an encouragement to you!! You are right, it really is a vicious cycle, but I think one of the first steps is to start recognizing the negative thoughts and replacing them with positive ones about yourself. That really made a huge difference for me.
 

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Discussion Starter · #19 ·
2. Everyone is watching every move you make and judging you

I am not saying there are no judgmental people out there. Whenever I used to go somewhere that there was a lot of people, I used to feel like every eye was on me, judging my every move. That was just a crazy irrational fear I had in my head. :)
 

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Discussion Starter · #20 ·
Another lie I used to believe is that every thought I had was truth. God has really opened my eyes to recognize that most negative thoughts we have are from the devil. He wants us to feel bad. By learning to recognize my negative thoughts, and replacing them with positive ones and truths form the Bible, I have made a lot of progress with my anxiety.
 
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