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Hey everyone :)

Newbie here - just found this place (wish i had of sooner!) and it looks a great place to speak to other people with SA and see how you all cope with it.

Basically, I'm a wreck when it comes to socialising etc. I take everything (and i mean everything) too personal. When I speak to people I stutter and stammer which is really embarrasing - i'm so defensive and shy that i make myself look arrogant and moody. Even though deep down I know i'm not, it's difficult to make other people see my true side when i've got this mask up. I got bullied at school and had to leave (this was 4yrs ago now - im 20yrs old) and now, i'm a recluse. I think that i take things way too personal, because people used to treat me different to other people - like i was "abnormal" you know? Like i never fit in and i was an outcast. So the moment someone says something that is remotely nasty, i take it to heart very easily and at one point i used to take it out on myself by cutting (my dad threatened to throw me out if i did it again) but i still do it behind his back.

How do you all cope with SA? I'm pretty much at a loss at what to do, as i'm due to start back into education this year and the last time i tried to go back to col, i broke down and had a panic attack. If someone even looks at me in a bad way, my stomach lurches and feels like its going to fall through my butt lol its awful.

I'd love to hear from other people about how you cope with it. I'm a bit tired of hearing my parents tell me that "i need to go out more" - when i physically and mentally cant!

Thanks, Belle.
 

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Hey belle!

I have been dealing with Social Anxiety for almost 5 years now. It has gotten worse the past year and a half. No body knows I have it, except my husband, like you, my parents don't think I have a problem. They tell me I am just too sheltered, I need to get out more. I have not had a true friend for about 5 years now, I have lost most of my old friends also. I go into panic attacks knowing I am about to meet someone. I panic when I have to make a phone call, be it a business or my own cousin! I resort to texting, that helps and I make my husband make the important calls for me. I know how you feel when you say your a wreck! I feel like a walking disaster! When I do go out with my husband (I don't go anywhere by myself anymore) I feel like everyone is staring a hole through me just judging me. I swear I can hear snickers of laughter (obviously it's in my head) so I try not to go out as much. I am not sure how to cope with this. I really do want to make friends because it is such a lonely place to be. You said you cut to help, I take prescription pills when I know I am about to meet one of my husbands friends and their wives. I am not addicted to them I just pop one when meeting people. I hate doing this, but it makes me feel more open to others.
To answer your question about how to cope. My husband bought me a little dog! A chiuwawa. (how ever you spell it) The kind of dog that will basically stick to your side every where! That helps with the loneliness. I don't have a job because like I said the disorder has pretty much taken over my life. So I sit home all day and take my college courses online. I am going to see a physician in the next few weeks who will do an evaluation and then refer me to a psychiatrist. Hopefully they can help or prescribe me some meds. Maybe you should see the doctor. But thats my advice. Good luck to you!
 

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I have had SAD for quite some time although was never properly diagnosed for it until recently. Unfortuantely it was diagnosed too late. I divorced my husband thinking I was in a miserable marriage. truth was I just couldn't vocalize what I needed because even in front of my husband I was terrified to speak what I wanted. Seems so simple now but was so painful to learn. I miss him very much and am trying desparetely to FIX myself so I can win him back. Has anyone ever left a relationship like this for the wrong reason?
 
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