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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
This came up on a specific question, but it's something I do in pretty much all areas of my life so I think a more general thread to discuss this is in order.

It's very hard for me to say no to people, but when I do manage to say no, I can never leave it at that. If someone asks me to do something I don't want to, I can't say 'no', I'll 'no....I'm sorry I just can't....I'm really busy today and I'm going to be tired later...and I need to sleep to get up early tomorrow...maybe another time...I'll make it up to you later?' And those pauses aren't the other person asking for explanations or pushing me, those pauses are just a second of silence where I start feeling guilty and judged and need to explain - I do all that on my own without needing the other person to even try to push me for explanations or whatever.

It doesn't even matter what it's for, a door to door roofer can knock on my door and it's going to go exactly like that.

Basically this is a question about how do you give stronger no's, with "NO apologies, NO explanations, NO promises about the future."
 

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Spirit of Vengeance
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Practice saying "No". Practice saying it in a mirror or when you are by yourself. I used to have a problem saying no to people when I was younger.

Just learn that when you say something like "No, I can't/don't want to" you CAN leave it at that with no further need for explanations or excuses.

If the person keeps trying to badger you then keep repeating "No".
 

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I don't have an easy time telling certain people no. I hate to feel like I've disappointed someone.

Practice it when easy opportunities come up. If you get ambushed at the mall by someone with a stand just say 'no thanks' and keep going. Make a conscious commitment to just saying that you're not interested in things, and don't elaborate unless you're asked.

My other advice is recognize when people aren't respecting you and to get just a little bit angry instead of feeling guilty. You have a right to decline things, and if that's a problem for someone it's more likely them being unfair to you than the other way around.
 

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blob
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yea i feel really mean if i just go "no -_-"

i always try to make it sound nice if i can lol. like for door to door people, i'll be like "oh no, i'm sorry! thank you though!"

i always imagine if it were me going door to door, or me asking someone something, how would i want them to reply. like hey do you want to go to the movies later? No...
its kinda rude imo
 

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I always make up excuses or add something to get hopes up, which isn't good. Didn't think about it as a problem until I saw this thread, so thanks. Will try Darktower's example and start with saying no to the mirror:).
 
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