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I just found this forum...so thank you whomever started it!! And if anyone can put names to what I'm dealing with that would be a great start for me trying to learn to handle what I deal with.

I am probably different than most sufferers in that I've learned to accept that I am the way I am. I've been this way since I can remember (I'm 43 if that gives you an idea of how long we're talking).

I have so many problems related to this issue. I fight with myself over what's appropriate. On one hand I accept that I'm not cut out to have a thriving social life. On the other hand, I think that's not too healthy. I'm concerned with where I will find myself in the future.

To give some background, I have three children ages 24, 19 and 18. The oldest and youngest have many of my personality traits but thankfully have a pretty good social circle, but I will tell you they are exactly like me in that they have no tolerance for "stupid people" (ie people who know better but consciously decide to act like idiots). My 19 year old is the complete opposite of the rest of us...she's very social and in some respects epitomizes those very people the rest of us are trying to avoid.

There are two things I'm concerned with. The first is that having this disorder makes it very hard to get and keep a job. By keeping a job, I mean I have been let go on more than one occasion because I just didn't fit in with what I like to call "the clique". I was always friendly but if it went beyond that I just couldn't maintain. I was not enough of an *** kiss so I was unable to impress anyone who was in charge with the decision to keep me as an employee or let me go. I am currently going back to college to study radiology or get my teaching credential (the teaching is a back up in case I don't make the cut for radiology). The jobs I've excelled at were the ones where I was able to just go off and produce something without a supervisor standing over me (this was something most said they liked, that I didn't need to be hovered over and babysat). Due to a number of factors I am not longer able to work in this field and need to train for something that actually has job openings and won't destroy what little social life I do have.

The second concern I have is that like every relationship I've ever been in, I have made my husband my entire world. Isn't that something most everyone would love to have, a marriage where you and your spouse are totally wrapped up in each other? The problem I'm finding is that my husband is my ONLY friend. He is my best friend. Which is great. He suffers from the same plethora of things that I do. Now where my worry comes in is that what happens if one of us dies? Then the one left will be all alone with no social life. It makes me very sad to think I'll be alone for the rest of my life or my husband will. I do keep in touch with friends on Facebook and such but it's very five minutes and that's it, a quick comment on something and then I move on. I don't share too much of myself and I don't let people in. I have a very hard time letting people get too close to me, which as I stated I've learned to live with but I worry about what happens if my husband is no longer with me...what do I do with myself then?

My husband and I rarely venture outside of home unless we absolutely have to...we just would rather stay home (we live out in the country on an acre) and not deal with people.

I don't know, it's all so confusing :(

I know some people reading this may wonder why I would consciously go into a field (teaching) that requires a large amount of interaction with people. Here is the funny part...I can easily deal with most people for a limited amount of time. I am very good dealing with teens. It's the adults who scare the crap out of me.
 

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hi and welcome to the forum! Actually, what you described in your post describes alot of us to a "t". SA is a cocktail of dysfunction - anxiety in social situations, poor social skills, and the loneliness which results.

Stick around, and in addition to this forum, browse the Coping With Social Anxiety and Frustration forums, as well as the over-30 forum. You sound insightful, and your participation will enhance the discussions. (And if you haven't done so already, jot a few things about yourself in your profile, so that we can get to know you a little better.)
 
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