[socialphobia23]

So i've been busting my ***, talking to people and going out as much as possible now for over a year. I've been on several dates, hung out with about a dozen different people, went out to many bars and clubs, tried hitting on girls but nothing is ****ing happening. I can't get close to anyone because i don't have any close friends it ****ing sucks. It's so ****ing awkward and ridiculous trying to hang out with other people's friends it's so ridiculous going out and seeing people i know but not being able to have a normal convo with them because i'm in sync like normal social people. I just don't get it, how are we who never went out in our teenage years supposed to fit in with these people???? People like myself with no social status are of no value, they say just have confidence and you can get things in life, well how the **** do you have confidence when you can't connect with other human beings socially because you have been isolated for so long? And i'm pretty pissed because i can't get girls, everywhere i go girls are wanting to talk to me, but i don't even know where to start with them. When i'm out i don't know what to say if a girl comes up and shows interest. These skills were supposed to be learned many years ago and if i have to initiate being the guy i don't wanna come across as a creep by initiating and saying the wrong thing or something. I just want to be normal. Shouldn't there be some clear cut rule for certain skills, or especially for the opposite sex. I mean trial and error can only get you so far if you are a guy and have hardly no experience with women in your mid 20's+ how are you ever supposed to recover? There has to be a way, but so far i have done nothing but fail and act clueless. My resume with girls is embarrassing.

 

[Kon]

They don't care all that much if they're attracted to you, kind of like you don't care too much about their social skills if you're attracted to them.

 

[socialphobia23]

They don't care all that much if they're attracted to you, kind of like you don't care too much about their social skills if you're attracted to them.

Yes but the guy still has to initiate, which is extremely hard when all you've done is fail with girls and they don't wanna talk to you after first date. Also how are you supposed to handle a women with 23+ years with hardly any experience with them, i mean unless a girl is all over me i have no chance with them. I do not know what i'm doing regardless of how much i've tried.

 

[Kon]

Yes but the guy still has to initiate, which is extremely hard when all you've done is fail with girls and they don't wanna talk to you after first date. Also how are you supposed to handle a women with 23+ years with hardly any experience with them, i mean unless a girl is all over me i have no chance with them. I do not know what i'm doing regardless of how much i've tried.

Did you ever try a little alcohol/medication?

 

[munir]

Form your picture u look like u can get any girl you want. I'll say maybe get some communication classes and see if they help. I can't really give you any other advice cuz I need help myself

 

[baxman]

well about the only advice i have is you need to start getting experience asap!this problem of inexperience will only get much worse as time goes by.maybe you should find a girl who has very little experience herself and then go from there.?there really is no great easy answer here.

 

[baxman]

my problem is finding women and explaining to them my lack of relationships.im in my 30s and ive had very brief relationships and most women find that strange especialy considering i keep in shape, am a decent looking guy.

 

[socialphobia23]

well about the only advice i have is you need to start getting experience asap!this problem of inexperience will only get much worse as time goes by.maybe you should find a girl who has very little experience herself and then go from there.?there really is no great easy answer here.

It's not that easy to just find girls man i'm not gonna date some girl i don't find attractive just to try to gain experience. I've already had sex with two girls and went on like 5 dates but i still have no clue what i'm doing. My experience level is like 10% of the average guy at most.

 

[tehuti88]

I just don't get it, how are we who never went out in our teenage years supposed to fit in with these people????

...

I mean trial and error can only get you so far if you are a guy and have hardly no experience with women in your mid 20's+ how are you ever supposed to recover? There has to be a way, but so far i have done nothing but fail and act clueless.

It doesn't matter how many times you ask this same question, the answer will always be the same. I'm not sure what new revelations you expect anyone here to be able to offer you that they haven't already offered.

 

[Phlow]

Hey bro, I'm the exact same as you.

I was really shy throughout school including university and seems like I got left behind in regards to how to just have friends and "hang out" with girls.

Only way to get better is to keep doing it. Now that we know what we missed out on, we can pick up and learn faster than as a dumb teenage kid.

The RSD talks have helped me out a lot - more the overwhelming philosophy of Tyler Durden's "just do it" than anything else. check it out at rsdnation (dot) com

 

[socialphobia23]

Hey bro, I'm the exact same as you.

I was really shy throughout school including university and seems like I got left behind in regards to how to just have friends and "hang out" with girls.

Only way to get better is to keep doing it. Now that we know what we missed out on, we can pick up and learn faster than as a dumb teenage kid.

The RSD talks have helped me out a lot - more the overwhelming philosophy of Tyler Durden's "just do it" than anything else. check it out at rsdnation (dot) com

I don't think its easier at our age, every mistake is crucial right now.

 

[Phlow]

Nah, it's only crucial if you think it is. There are so many people in this world, that if you think you embarrass yourself so grotesquely in front of someone else or a group of people, fine, then you'll never seen em again. Thats how many people there are in this world.

 

[evelyn11]

If you want to improve your social skills I'd advise volunteering in a charity shop, it really helps you learn how to talk to people, make small talk etc.

 

[Coastal]

It's not that easy to just find girls man i'm not gonna date some girl i don't find attractive just to try to gain experience. I've already had sex with two girls and went on like 5 dates but i still have no clue what i'm doing. My experience level is like 10% of the average guy at most.

You are still lightyears ahead of alot of us that you are complaining to, broski

Where are you trying to pick up women, or where do they come up to you? Bars/clubs?