[iwishiwasaway]

Last night i was at a party....Disaster...

I havent been on this forum in awhile, mainly because I have trouble coming here. I kinda like to ignore this problem..if i can...

Anyways, It was a graduation party for a "friend", And also a co birthday party for me....I guess

And it was a nightmare, everybody was having fun, but me...I tried and...I wanted to have fun, but I couldnt socialize with anyone..It was miserable, I ended up hiding, then leaving early without telling anyone...Even at the party, a girl i knew was being really nice, and trying to talk to me, but i just wasnt really.. I can tell she was frustrated,And i know I was... she probably thinks im an a-hole, and not at all interested
This has happened to me before. People like to self medicate themselves by consuming alcohol at these events. But I cant do it, it doesnt help. I DONT want to do it...

I have only talked to a doctor about this life long problem once, and nothing came from it, i just avoided issues and got defensive.. But after nights like last night, which are adding up. I have to go back...I have to..
Hopefully i have the courage this time...

Anyone ever been in a situation?

 

[iwishiwasaway]

I probably should of put this in the frustration forum, my apologies..

 

[shyvr6]

I been in lots of situations where people who normally don't talk to me will try to start up a convo and it usually ended up in disaster. I hope your decision to go to the doctor again works out.

 

[joejoe]

i think its relevant here because you're describing an experience that bothered you. And as for these situations adding up, I would ask you, plead with you to get help through your doctor, because they will add up and you will feel worse. Then the regret of not doing something about it earlier...

 

[banjerbanjo]

Man, I've been in this situation so many times.
This isn't exactly like your situation, but one time I was at a college party(an artsy-type party, not a frat party) with a couple friends. They had been drinking for a while, but I had just gotten off work so I hadn't had time to drink yet. When I got to the party the first thing I did was go to grab a beer. I grabbed one out of the fridge and when I shut the door I noticed this girl standing there that I had met a couple other times. She was very attractive, and I was pretty sure that she was attracted to me from our previous encounters. She seemed very excited to see me and we started talking. The conversation led to us talking about music(she knew I was a musician because I had played at a couple parties) and she told me that she played harmonica and mentioned that we should jam sometime. Instead of saying "Yeah! That'd be great!" or something similar to that, I said "Are you any good?" in a pretty condescending tone. I don't know why it came out that way, it just came out. I'm really not a jerk, honest. I could see the smile on her face fade away, and the conversation soon ended. I felt like an idiot and I still do whenever I think about it.

Since then, I have ran into her a few time, and everytime I screw it up. It's like I'm cursed. And I can tell that she has lost most, if not all, attraction for me.

 

[jblazer]

Man, I've been in this situation so many times.
This isn't exactly like your situation, but one time I was at a college party(an artsy-type party, not a frat party) with a couple friends. They had been drinking for a while, but I had just gotten off work so I hadn't had time to drink yet. When I got to the party the first thing I did was go to grab a beer. I grabbed one out of the fridge and when I shut the door I noticed this girl standing there that I had met a couple other times. She was very attractive, and I was pretty sure that she was attracted to me from our previous encounters. She seemed very excited to see me and we started talking. The conversation led to us talking about music(she knew I was a musician because I had played at a couple parties) and she told me that she played harmonica and mentioned that we should jam sometime. Instead of saying "Yeah! That'd be great!" or something similar to that, I said "Are you any good?" in a pretty condescending tone. I don't know why it came out that way, it just came out. I'm really not a jerk, honest. I could see the smile on her face fade away, and the conversation soon ended. I felt like an idiot and I still do whenever I think about it.

Since then, I have ran into her a few time, and everytime I screw it up. It's like I'm cursed. And I can tell that she has lost most, if not all, attraction for me.

Just apologize dude, it's not that big of a deal. People say stupid **** all the time.. or just say nothing at all.

 

[iwishiwasaway]

Man, I've been in this situation so many times.
This isn't exactly like your situation, but one time I was at a college party(an artsy-type party, not a frat party) with a couple friends. They had been drinking for a while, but I had just gotten off work so I hadn't had time to drink yet. When I got to the party the first thing I did was go to grab a beer. I grabbed one out of the fridge and when I shut the door I noticed this girl standing there that I had met a couple other times. She was very attractive, and I was pretty sure that she was attracted to me from our previous encounters. She seemed very excited to see me and we started talking. The conversation led to us talking about music(she knew I was a musician because I had played at a couple parties) and she told me that she played harmonica and mentioned that we should jam sometime. Instead of saying "Yeah! That'd be great!" or something similar to that, I said "Are you any good?" in a pretty condescending tone. I don't know why it came out that way, it just came out. I'm really not a jerk, honest. I could see the smile on her face fade away, and the conversation soon ended. I felt like an idiot and I still do whenever I think about it.

Since then, I have ran into her a few time, and everytime I screw it up. It's like I'm cursed. And I can tell that she has lost most, if not all, attraction for me.

it wasnt a frat party. I dont really spend time with people like that, well for the most part

Anyways, yeah...I have had that happen to me a number of times.

 

[DontTrustheGov't]

This used to happen to me a parties where alcohol wasn't served.

Alcohol does help me at parties but you are right that it should not be considered a solution. Even normal people get nervous at parties and I suspect this is why even the "normals" drink alcohol at parties.

It is not normal to be so nervous at a party that you are miserable and eventually "sneak" out just to end the anxiety. The behavior you described reminds me so much of myself before I started pills.

I just recently started taking pills again and my combo is Celexa and Xanax and I am feeling better than I have in a long time. The pills basically just chill you out and allow you to sort of improve your frontal lobe functioning. I used to have this thing where my mind would go blank and I couldnt focus on anything but my anxiety and my pills have definitely helped with this problem alot.

Also dont give up on meds if you go on them because I had to try Paxil, Lexapro, Zoloft, Wellbutrin, Seroquel, Ativan, and Klonopin before I wound up on my current med combo. I switched doctors and I found that my first doc missed several diagnoses and I wasnt really being treated with the proper medications for my conditions.

 

[mre314]

Ah yes, this happened to me just last week. It was a graduation party. I ended up sitting in the same chair for three hours, talking to whoever else sat down. Someone called me on it eventually ("have you moved this whole time?"). About five minutes after that happened, I asked where the bathroom was and ditched the place.

 

[Hippo]

And it was a nightmare, everybody was having fun, but me...I tried and...I wanted to have fun, but I couldnt socialize with anyone..It was miserable, I ended up hiding, then leaving early without telling anyone..

The band I'm in played a wedding this past saturday and I was miserable because I couldn't bring myself to socialize, i kept hiding outside near our van chain smoking. This girl came out and asked "Are you nervous?" I said "No" and she said "then why are you out here hiding and smoking?" I replied "Um, ah, erm, uhh..."

The rest of the guys in the band are very aggressive with the ladies and consider it a wasted night if they don't "get any ***"

They probably think i'm gay

 

[iwishiwasaway]

The rest of the guys in the band are very aggressive with the ladies and consider it a wasted night if they don't "get any ***"

They probably think i'm gay

Yeah thats annoying...

I notice the same thing at parties or at bars. And its annoying....There like "yeah dude, im trying to score"
Thinking in my head that they are idiots...

Im not gay either, im straight....I just find it to be sometimes annoying, maybe because im nervous, but also because usually these dudes are d-bags, or they become d-bags....Not to generalize.

Like what frank zappa use to say, "alcohol and drugs is an excuse to act like an a-hole"

Im starting to agree...

 

[iwishiwasaway]

This used to happen to me a parties where alcohol wasn't served.

Alcohol does help me at parties but you are right that it should not be considered a solution. Even normal people get nervous at parties and I suspect this is why even the "normals" drink alcohol at parties.

It is not normal to be so nervous at a party that you are miserable and eventually "sneak" out just to end the anxiety. The behavior you described reminds me so much of myself before I started pills.

I just recently started taking pills again and my combo is Celexa and Xanax and I am feeling better than I have in a long time. The pills basically just chill you out and allow you to sort of improve your frontal lobe functioning. I used to have this thing where my mind would go blank and I couldnt focus on anything but my anxiety and my pills have definitely helped with this problem alot.

Also dont give up on meds if you go on them because I had to try Paxil, Lexapro, Zoloft, Wellbutrin, Seroquel, Ativan, and Klonopin before I wound up on my current med combo. I switched doctors and I found that my first doc missed several diagnoses and I wasnt really being treated with the proper medications for my conditions.

I explained that i really havent talked to a doctor about these issues that much (even though i should.) But I dont like the idea of pills...I dont know...I know they would probably help...

I know some people who have had some reeallly bad experiences with pills for depression/or anxiety...

I was drinking at the party, because i thought it would help the nerves...I didnt, obviously.