Social Anxiety Support Forum banner
1 - 19 of 19 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
207 Posts
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
What would you do if you liked him?

What would you want him to say?

What topics are you interested in?

Where do you expect to be approached?

well...
 

·
unashamed perv
Joined
·
1,786 Posts
If I was single and I liked him, I'd smile at him and flirt. I'd make sure we exchanged phone numbers before we parted, although I'd try not to appear too desperately keen.

Bad things to say: cheesy pick up lines, things that sound false and rehearsed, like "hey girl, let me guess your sign!" Oh dear, what? Er, good things to say: "Can I buy you a drink?" "Your hair/eyes/dress is lovely." A really good opening, is "Sorry, but have we met? I'm sure you look familiar." It's an old one, but a good one, and leads (hopefully) to talking about where you may have seen each other, and provides a little bit of an excuse for staring at her.

Which topics she will want to talk about depends on the girl, you'll just have to ask her what she's interested in. Try to tell her something interesting and unusual about yourself, hopefully she'll think you're cool and remember you :)

Where do I expect to be approached? Bars and nightclubs shouldn't be overlooked - I know a lot of people say they're just meat-markets for people on the pull, but it's not true for everyone there. These are places people go in order to socialise, so they should be pretty receptive to talking to new people. In other public places like shops, art galleries etc it's ok to approach somebody, but be sensitive to the fact that they may not be expecting it, and may not want to meet anyone new.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
284 Posts
If you have your eye on someone, I think some of us SA gals would react very different to your average mall goer, concert goer, or student (answer to last question). Personally, whether I like the guy or not, when he approaches the ticking clock starts to go off in my head and the only objective to to get. away. now. before disaster occurs.

I also touch my hair if that helps more. ;)
 

·
unashamed perv
Joined
·
1,786 Posts
I think some of us SA gals would react very different to your average mall goer, concert goer, or student (answer to last question).
You're probably right. For me, I think I'm mostly "normal" in my romantic dealings with the opposite sex. It's friendships with other girls that elude me.

Oh, and given that I'm not single, if a cute guy approached me I'd still smile and talk to him, but I'd drop the words "my boyfriend" into the conversation early on.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
315 Posts
I have problems with sick individuals of the male gender approaching me in intimate manners.

Since I'm a guy, I simply set phasers to kill. If a female companion reports to me a similar story, the similar reaction will be proposed. We here have seen far too much injustice done to the more demure and civilised facets of our personalities, hence the act of romance can be very much different to the very courtly grace of Lady Madison above.

But since I should play a guy! Here goes, if I were a lady, of any stature, I would like a man to be polite and confident yet willing to compromise with my needs. I would be willing to follow a competent leader who has compassion.

I might have some tolerance for an unseasoned communicator or even a bit of nervousness on his part - being chaste is a good thing after all, but in the interests of my dignity I would dislike being treated as personal property, discussed with other males or paraded around without my needs being looked after.

Niceness, as in courtly politeness, does not entirely define a man's worth. His heart must be strong and pure, such that I may give him my heart for his safekeeping, and that I may shield him from temptation,

Right, but I'm not a girl, so I hope you guys will realise from that example how to treat a woman right, no matter what race, religion, or personality she is. Don't ever treat them like doormats even if they are not offended, for you will pay the price in time. It doesn't matter what -other- guys do to their companions. Treat them as live examples and judge accordingly. It is your romance, your book of love to co-author with your chosen one.

Marriage is sacred.

Relationships lead to that end path.

Thus even a passing glance, is a sacred moment.

Treasure it. For there are some of us whose hearts have been ridden with guilt and hatred, that they might not love easily at all.

(Hows that ;p)
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
37 Posts
If I was single and I liked him, I'd smile at him and flirt. I'd make sure we exchanged phone numbers before we parted, although I'd try not to appear too desperately keen.
Ditto. A good opening line with me is simply "Hi. How are you?" That's what mature men say anyway and they take it from there. You can compliment her on her beauty if you feel that way. Flattery goes a long way with me if I find the guy attractive. If I don't, I'm still very kind and say thankyou if I get compliments, but once they ask for the digits, I give a polite smile and say "No." I'm upfront. Or "I'm taken" always works when you're not interested and you want to hurry up and get it over with.
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
37 Posts
Where do you expect to be approached?

well...
Well I guess I can't expect to be approached in my bedroom cos that's where I am most of the time.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
575 Posts
What would you do if you liked him? - Look to the ground, look completely nervous, giggle.

What would you want him to say? It wouldn't matter so much what he said, as long as he kept the conversation going and cheekiness is always a plus.

What topics are you interested in? Films, Artists,Concerts, News..

Where do you expect to be approached? Uh...pass
 

·
SAS Member
Joined
·
13,225 Posts
i'd run the other way. i avoid contact so no one will approach me and it works 90% of the time. the only place id be approached is at the hospital cause thats the only public place i really go to these days.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
315 Posts
I would agree with Peri.

See how the other party approaches a passive person. You can glean much about his psychology that way..
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
297 Posts
What would you do if you liked him? Well if I was attracted to him, I probably would smile or blush alot.

What would you want him to say? Just ask him basic questions and conversation.

What topics are you interested in? Sports, News, music, movies, and etc.

Where do you expect to be approached? Well I'll say in College, clothing stores, and grocery stores. I dont go to niteclubs or bars.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
163 Posts
My only main question is simply; I can usually even tell when a convo is going well and the girl feels a mutual connection. But I am still a big poon when it comes to furthering the connection; ie asking for her phone number, asking her to go get a coffee, etc. Even if all the signs are there(which i am perceptive of, because I am just as good at seeing she wants to get the fawk away from he), I still won't ask for her number because I am a poon, and for some reason I think if she did say no I would be this big loser(yes it's a sad complex, haha).

But how often will you women actually ask a guy for his number if you click or whatever?

I'm curious, because every serious relationship I've had in my life resulted from the woman pursuing me, getting my number, etc(yes I said I was a poon). But I know I could escape this loneliness if I had some shred of dignity and confidence and actually asked a girl for her number or on a date...........I can't just wait and hope another hot mama comes after me. Maybe if I was Brad Pitt, that lucky *******. I digress as usual.......

Even SA women.....will you confront a guy and ask for his number? Or even if he initiates the convo and theres a connection, will you make sure to exchange numbers? Or is it out of the question....l
 

·
Banned
Joined
·
37 Posts
If I clicked with a guy, I'd get his number for sure. Why not? Even though I'm sure I'd be nervous calling and eventually going out on a date if we decided to do that. The whole process is so nerve-wrecking! If the guy is really worth it, I make myself go through with it.
 

·
Rolling In the Hay
Joined
·
34 Posts
With the exception of funerals, I'd say there isn't really anyplace I'd be irritated about being approached. Honestly If I'm not interested I'll shut it down pretty quick, but most girls aren't going to be that easy to read. There is no foolproof way to know if she's interested unless she explicitly lets you know. I know having SA makes it a huge challenge, but you'll just have to put yourself out there. Most guys seem to rely on the law of averages anyway, they just keep asking girls and accepting rejection, banking on the idea that at some point somebody's going to say yes.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
257 Posts
If I don't know him, how can I like him?
 

·
Hiding In My Den
Joined
·
1,955 Posts
Only way I'll ever get into a relationship and only way I ever want to is to be friends first so the guy doing the approaching would have to be doing it in a friends type way, ie not flirting or he'd have no chance of getting to know me. Also It makes me uncomfortable when guys flirt with me because I don't know what to do/say since 99% of the time I would never date them so I can't flirt back because I don't wanna be fake.
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
246 Posts
What would you do if you liked him?
I would avoid him like the plague, and be really awkward around him.

What would you want him to say?
Just act normally and have general convo w/out any pressure.

What topics are you interested in?
music, movies, general topics.

Where do you expect to be approached?
anywhere that's not inappropriate I guess, as others have already stated.

If I don't know him, how can I like him?
This is the conundrum.

Personally I don't think I'm very visual. I hardly ever just get crushes on someone. I don't really get to know people either so it's difficult for me to answer any of these questions in useful manner at all. oh well...
 

·
subtastic
Joined
·
7,692 Posts
What would you do if you liked him?

What would you want him to say?

What topics are you interested in?

Where do you expect to be approached?

well...
I'd be cautious at first, and nervous if I liked him. But I'm usually cool with being approached by strangers. I don't mind engaging in conversation, even though I'm not the best at it.

I'd want him to talk to me like he'd talk to someone he wasn't "interested" in, romantically or otherwise. Innuendo and pick up lines from people I don't know make me uncomfortable.

I would prefer to be approached somewhere public. A coffee shop, a classroom, etc.

And what topics am I interested in? Nerdy ones. I'd be impressed if a guy talked to me about bridges, old buildings, public transit, bird watching or English literature, but I don't recommend that as a general approach.
 
1 - 19 of 19 Posts
Top