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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Ok guys, so going to give you a bit of my background. Social anxiety has been in my family (Dad's side) for the past couple generations. My grandma wouldn't even leave the house for months because of how afraid she is of social interaction. My dad, despite still being very successful, has always had it, and I've heard for years about how it has held back my father from being even more successful. He's been on SSRIs none of them helped. For reasons I don't know, hes never been on a benzo. So about me, I've had social anxiety since I was a child, now that I look back on things. My mom always wanted me to get more involved in clubs, activities and what not and it always made me very uncomfortable and I never wanted to, but as a child I had no idea what anxiety or even social anxiety was, I guess I wasn't aware. Despite this, I have been able to creep through school not interacting much however, still excelling in academics getting close to 4.0 GPAs my entire life. I am now a junior in college and when it comes to the job world, its often not about how smart you are, but more so the social aspect and being able to make connections. I currently can't do this and its preventing me from going to job fairs, internship interviews, and pretty much any speech I have, I just won't show up. Now, about a year ago I was put on Klonopin, 1mg a day. It helped subtly however, on 2mg I was anxiety free, able to meet new people, interact more in class, and actually FOCUS more in class because my mind isn't running marathons. I went off of it about 6 months ago for reasons now I don't even remember clearly. Had bad withdrawal blah, blah, blah whatever. I am now back to baseline and I have xanax for as needed however, I work 30 hours a week and take a full load of classes. I'm interacting all the time with others so a few times out of the week I get to be somewhat stress free. I've been obsessed with the idea of what could be if I were to continue taking klonopin at a dose of 1-2mg a day and where it could take me. I'm just looking at trade offs, and I've decided that I'd rather be reliant on a drug than have my anxiety hold me back in life. What does it matter if your very intelligent, but no one knows it because your unable to express yourself clearly due to social anxiety.

On a side note, currently on zoloft 50mg for about a month, might be putting me in a better mood, absolutely nothing for anxiety. I know what works and I am aware of withdrawals, dependency and tolerance.

So I guess my main question is what do you guys think? Is it better to live a life where anxiety is crippling you or be reliant on a drug but yet be able to live up to your full potential? Also would be great if I could hear from some long term users, like 10+ if your out there.

Thanks
Brian
 

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What does it matter if your very intelligent, but no one knows it because your unable to express yourself clearly due to social anxiety.
Bingo. I have a degree in finance, having graduated in May 1995. Would you like to guess how much work I've done in the 18 years since? It would be absolutely none. I have a 60-year-old brother who has more education than anyone you're likely to ever meet. Would you like to guess how he's performed in the job market? If you guessed massive failure, you'd be correct. All the intelligence & education doesn't mean a damn thing if metal issues get in the way. Simple as that. Somebody with an IQ in the retarded range, but not impaired by SA or OCD could have vastly outperformed both myself and my brother in the job market. After all, merely having any job would be all it takes to outperform me.

I know what works and I am aware of withdrawals, dependency and tolerance.
Excellent. Then you have everything you need to make an informed decision. Problems tend to occur when folks take meds without knowing this stuff.

So I guess my main question is what do you guys think? Is it better to live a life where anxiety is crippling you or be reliant on a drug but yet be able to live up to your full potential? Also would be great if I could hear from some long term users, like 10+ if your out there.
I would be one of the long-term benzo users you seek. Though I find benzos only marginally helpful. They're better than nothing, but still leave so much to be desired. No benzo at any dosage level is able to make it such that I'm not still disabled by SA.

If I found the significant level of improvement you have from benzos you can be damn sure I'd be using them without hesitation. Hell, I use them without hesitation even for the marginal improvement they provide me.

Life is short and I'd suggest not throwing it away. My advice would be take benzos if that's what works for you. Seems you already know this and are simply looking for others to confirm & support the decision to use benzos that you've already made.
 

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Life is short and I'd suggest not throwing it away. My advice would be take benzos if that's what works for you. Seems you already know this and are simply looking for others to confirm & support the decision to use benzos that you've already made.
Thanks a ton for your detailed response ultrashy. I think I've definitely came to the decision to go on the benzos. I'm just hoping my current psychiatrists goes for it as I know that doctors don't like being told by their patients what they need. The one problem I'm concerned about is him trying to up the dose of my Zoloft or wait longer because it's only been about a month since I've started taking it, but still I don't have time right now to be experimenting when i know what works. My life is being put on hold right now due to social anxiety and I know klonopin will work because it has in the past. I'm just very stressed because my appointment is Monday and I have a job interview Tuesday and speeches coming up. Should I just be completely honest?
 
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